Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To put dd 7m into nursery so I can go to the gym?

785 replies

Vijac · 22/06/2015 11:00

I've just started putting her in for an hour two times a week. The first sessions were ok but today at her 4th session her face just crumpled when I said goodbye which wrenched my heart :(. She obviously realised I was leaving her. Am I mean putting her in just so I can go the gym. I just want to get fit and lose some weight finally. Will I damage her according to attachment parenting? Thanks.

OP posts:
sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 22/06/2015 21:20

Well that's great for you.
But a) not everybody can
b) not everybody wants to
c) children will not be harmed from spending time in childcare so I've no idea why you feel the need to make someone feel bad about the way they choose to bring up their children?

Writerwannabe83 · 22/06/2015 21:20

Someone needs to fight fires/uphold the law/care for frail elderly people/manufacture and sell medicines/clean hospitals.

Didn't you know those jobs are only reserved for people who either can't have children or never want children. They ask those questions as part of the application process these days.

Or maybe there is just no need for people to be teachers, nurses, social workers, GPs, police officers, firefighters, dentists, vets etc where keep lives? Unless they are male ones of course because they still have the luxury of having their own life even if they do have children....

Singsongsung · 22/06/2015 21:23

Everybody can put their children's needs over their need to go to the gym though Sharon, surely?!
I've already stated that my child goes to nursery when I go to work, 2 days per week. That is a need. I have no choice just like many many others, but the OP is absolutely making a choice and causing a 7 month old to be upset for no real reason.

Ivytheterrible · 22/06/2015 21:24

I would say perfectly ok. I used the Creche at my gym from around 10 weeks for an hr 3 times a week and loved having a bit of time to myself.

Sallystyle · 22/06/2015 21:25

By the time I had kids I was ready to put them at the top of my priorities and forgo the socialising etc etc.

We are all top priority in my house.

Of course if I was ever running low of food or anything the children would come first, but my children simply aren't top of my priorities every single minute of every day.

ALL our needs are important.

I also want to spend time with my children Sing just not every bloody second during the day. My children are all very secure and sociable and independent (not saying your's aren't), it has done them no harm at all not to be my top priority all of the time.

vvega · 22/06/2015 21:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 22/06/2015 21:28

Sorry but wtf should they?
Every parent SHOULD ensure their child is fed, clothed, loved, given warmth stimulation and guidance.
There is no SHOULD for anything else particularly not something that it beneficial for that parents emotional and physical health.

Zogthebiggestdragon · 22/06/2015 21:28

I'm amazed by some of the comments on this thread. OP, I started putting my then 14m daughter into the creche at our leisure centre about 8 weeks ago. Best decision ever. The fourth time was the worst for her as she recognised the corridor and knew what was about to happen, but she's just got better and better since then. She's going to nursery soon as I'm finally going back to work, and the settling sessions have gone much better as the creche have taken a lot of the worst seperation anxiety.

Creche staff are totally used to dealing with babies upset by seperation. My daughter has stayed in her buggy a few times as well, the staff take her out but sometimes she goes back to the buggy as it's where she feels most comfortable. They won't keep them in there for ever, so I wouldn't worry about it.

The only other suggestion I have is that it's helped that some of the same children go to the creche at the same time each week, so she's starting to recognise them (and two of them are lovely kids who like to try and cheer her up). Might not work if the other kids are less helpful!

I wish I'd started using the creche earlier, tbh.

Singsongsung · 22/06/2015 21:28

Vvega- this thread isn't about using childcare to go to work, it's about using childcare to go to the gym. There's a huge difference in my opinion.

keeptothewhiteline · 22/06/2015 21:29

vvega- that is just silly.

We all parent differently- not everyone would want to do the things I do. Some parents love sending their kids to nursery and many kids love being there.
My choice to work at home does not impact on those who want to work outside the home.
THere is room for all surely?

HazleNutt · 22/06/2015 21:30

Going to work is not a need, you can just live on benefits, can't you? Or should have prepared and saved up before having kids. Or of course, as already demonstrated, just work from home. Plenty of choices here, if you really want to put your children first. (sadface)

vvega · 22/06/2015 21:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Singsongsung · 22/06/2015 21:31

Sharon- "wtf should they"?? Well, because they have children. Small, dependent people who they, in most cases, chose to bring into the world. Is that not reason enough to give up your social life for a few months/years??

vvega · 22/06/2015 21:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Writerwannabe83 · 22/06/2015 21:33

Spending an hour at the gym is hardly a social life.

It's not as if the OP is using childcare so she can go out all day with her mates, drinking and shopping...

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 22/06/2015 21:35

Oh it's exactly the same.
Bet she's actually scoring at the watercooler the selfish terrible mother!

Mide7 · 22/06/2015 21:35

Singsong- the OP is providing her child with all sorts of positives by going to the gym surely. She is teaching them it's important to look after yourself and be healthy. She is providing herself with numerous health benefits as well which in turn hopefully means she can continue to care for her child fully for as long as needed.

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 22/06/2015 21:36

And even if it was a social life again wtf does that matter? Even 'small dependent children' don't need to be attached to their mothers apron strings 24/7 to have their emotional needs fulfilled

Singsongsung · 22/06/2015 21:37

Mide- I shouldn't think a 7 month old much picks up on that though to be honest...

Mide7 · 22/06/2015 21:38

No your right but does that mean we should only start being role models to our kids when they are old enough to understand or maybe we should start as we mean to go on?

Singsongsung · 22/06/2015 21:40

I must be a dreadful role model to my 9 year old daughter then hey. It's a miracle she is way ahead of her peers at school, actively involved in a huge range of sports and dancing lessons, a confident member of Brownies who goes away on camps etc etc. Never went to nursery- she ought to be a timid wreck who watches TV all day hey!

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 22/06/2015 21:41

Dear me there are no end of smug posts are there? Which tbh just reek of insecurity

Nolim · 22/06/2015 21:42

Nolim I feel sad that you disagree to be honest.
I can live with that.

Going to work is not a need, you can just live on benefits, can't you?
I would rather work than live on benefits. Obviously not everyone has the choice, but i feel zero guilt for esrning a wage.

Mide7 · 22/06/2015 21:43

I never implied you were a dreadful role model sing song. I'm sure you're a fantastic parent but there are numerous ways to skin a cat.

Singsongsung · 22/06/2015 21:43

Personally I think being the kind of mum who puts spending time with my kids at the top of my list, who doesn't glorify body image so much that the gym matters enough to leave them sad while I work out, who goes to work to support them and us and who isn't out on the drink every weekend having a social life is probably better role modelling than many I've come across in rl.