Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Calling DP 'hubby' when not married?

661 replies

stqueen · 15/06/2015 22:21

This is winding me up far more than it should be. I have a friend (actually one of my oldest friends who is lovely) who refers to her DP, in person & on social media, as her 'hubby' or 'hubs'. FB status posted at the weekend referring to her 'lovely hubby'. They are not married & never have been ! Many couples consciously choose not to marry & it isn't a big deal these days simply to have a long term DP. They have 2 children together so I suppose she feels married but I feel it makes a mockery out of those who ARE married! I have asked her why she does it, she simply says she feels married & he is her DH in all but a marriage certificate. As I said, this is winding me up far more than it should be, perhaps I have too much time on my hands noticing these things but she's done it for years & its really starting to get on my nerves! AIBU?

OP posts:
Wheelerdeeler · 15/06/2015 22:23

Yes. Makes no sense. If she wants a hubby then she should get married..

steff13 · 15/06/2015 22:24

She's unreasonable for using the terms "hubby" and "hubs."

MrsTerryPratchett · 15/06/2015 22:25

YAsssooooooNBU. "Hubs" Bleugh. Envy Even if they were married.

However the word came from 'head of the house' which is not true in this house and we are married. Grin Possibly she wants to marry and he doesn't so that would be sad.

scarletforya · 15/06/2015 22:25

Yabu.

You feel it 'makes a mockery' of those that are married?

Really?

gobbynorthernbird · 15/06/2015 22:25

The word 'hubby' would make me want to poke her in the eye with a sharp stick, married or not.

Hassled · 15/06/2015 22:26

Is she dropping very heavy-handed hints to her DP?

goldeline · 15/06/2015 22:27

Those words make me gag. Anyone would be unreasonable to use them, regardless of their marital status.

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 15/06/2015 22:27

"Hubby" makes me think of an obese man in double beige with continence issues.

Minisoksmakehardwork · 15/06/2015 22:28

Perhaps they eloped and forgot to tell everyone?

goldeline · 15/06/2015 22:28

But YABU for being bothered by it.

flowery · 15/06/2015 22:29

She is BU for using hubby/hubs whether she's married or not.

You are BU for thinking it makes a mockery of married people. Who on earth cares what stupid pet name she uses for her partner and why does it affect anyone else?

Isn't it like some men refer to "the missus" about their partner even if they're not married?

Branwell · 15/06/2015 22:30

I can see why those horrifically twee terms irritate you. I can't see why you feel her use of them 'makes a mockery of those who are married'. Unless you mean on grounds of taste?

LadyCuntingtonThe3rd · 15/06/2015 22:32

She is probably trying to make him marry her.

caravanista13 · 15/06/2015 22:32

Ridiculous! Of course she can call him Hubby - it doesn't affect anyone else. Can't understand why other posters are so condescending.

keeptothewhiteline · 15/06/2015 22:32

My OH and I refer to ourselves as "husband" and wife. We are not married, it is just the most accurate description. Partner sounds odd, boyfriend trivial.
I don't know why it bothers you OP- it isn't impacting on your relationship.

bluesbaby · 15/06/2015 22:33

Why does it matter to you what she calls her partner? Maybe she feels as good as married already.

morelikeguidelines · 15/06/2015 22:33

It's a bit sad really as it looks like she wishes they were married.

Original poster
stqueen · 15/06/2015 22:33

Grin yes, both terms are gag inducing married or not. . .but it winds me up so much more due to the simple fact it is not a 'true' statement.

Reading my OP, the mockery of marriage bit does sound a bit dickhead-ish Hmm - I think what I'm trying to say is I don't like people trying to be something they aren't. If she wants to call DP that in private, happy days, but why put it all over social media / use in conversation? It drives me mad but I think I need to get a life & stop being pathetic BU.

OP posts:
ThePinkOcelot · 15/06/2015 22:34

Making a mockery of those that are married?! Seriously!!
Unclench!!

UnsolvedMystery · 15/06/2015 22:34

You can hate the terms but why on earth do you care that she uses them when she's not married? How on earth does it affect you?
It doesn't make a mockery of anything! You are being slightly ridiculous to think that it actually matters.

MyNightWithMaud · 15/06/2015 22:34

The word 'hubby' would make me want to poke her in the eye with a sharp stick, married or not.

Precisely that.

keeptothewhiteline · 15/06/2015 22:35

So what if it isn't true- she is not defrauding anyone.

Eigg · 15/06/2015 22:35

It's not unreasonable to object to the use of hubby but to be honest her marital state has no impact on you, or on any other married couple.

She may be annoying but she's not hurting anyone.

patienceisvirtuous · 15/06/2015 22:36

I think you are being mean. It's not your business, leave her be.

MrsTerryPratchett · 15/06/2015 22:36

Reading my OP, the mockery of marriage bit does sound a bit dickhead-ish Which, as far as I can tell if the point of AIBU. To work out if one is being dickhead-ish. I often am Sad