To ask what's the most tactless thing anyone has ever said to you?

[Squirrel78]

I've had someone come up to me today gushing "I didn't know you were expecting again?!" I'm not. Don't know who was more mortified - her or me! My stomach has grown over the last few months probably because I don't exercise enough. Now I'm tearful, depressed and embarking on a diet and the only thing that can cheer me up is s bit of shared misery!!

DH and I explained to MIL that I had been diagnosed with PTSD after a traumatic birth ending in a very scary EMCS. She then proceeded to ask about it in great detail, and when DH mentioned he had seen me on the operating table as they took newborn DD to the paeds, she said 'oh poor DH, it's you who should be traumatised, not Cheby'.

Ex's mum and aunt told me very loudly at a family gathering that I was a 'big lass' and made a game of trying to guess how much I weighed accompanied by gales of laughter and trying to pinch my upper arms. I am 5'10" and was a size 10 then.

A couple of years ago (by which time I was a bit chubby but had had severe depression and felt pretty shit about myself but was actually only about a size 14-16), a woman on the train called across the carriage at me, 'You're pregnant! Have my seat!' I fixed her with a death stare and she tried to backtrack even more loudly by saying it was the fact I was wearing a scarf (!) and flat shoes. It was excruciating and I could see all the other passengers trying hard not to smile.

I mean, really.

Wow. Some of these are astoundingly rude and hurtful.

I still remember going shopping for my secondary school uniform with my mum, age 11 and at the time I was going through a puppy fat stage. Stepping out of the changing room my mum kindly said: "God, you look like a barrel in that!" Cheers mum, knocked my confidence at the start of secondary school and was the trigger for 15 years of dieting and obsessing about my weight.

After DM died, one of the guests came up to me at the funeral and asked when the house was going on the market. She took my shocked silence for assent, and began gushing about how lovely it would be with a little work.

My face unfroze at that point, and we were both yanked backwards, she by a friend, me by my uncle and two of my brothers. Which prevented me from doing quite a lot of prison time.

My uncle, after the tragic death of my sister who had disabilities - "Give it a year and you'll all feel relieved. It's amazing she lived as long as she did. I don't have to go to the funeral, do I?"

No, uncle, stay away, you utter cunt.

On the day my son died 'must be much harder for my DP as I already had a child before'

"Epilepsy? That's like a mental illness innit?"

Said by a now ex friend

Hmmm most of my ones relate to recurrent miscarriage.

When I arrived in day surgery a nurse holding my notes announced to me in front of all the other patients 'you will need to take a pregnancy test if you haven't had a period for three months'. I was there for an erpc. Utterly heartbreaking.

Quite a few people have gone with the old chestnut of 'at least you can get pregnant' after my third miscarriage.

My own mum today said 'well you'll be pregnant again soon anyway'

tic I got exactly the same alng with " you are not too old to try again yet"

"When's the Baby due?" Six weeks after a FT stillbirth.

'I didn't want a girl, I only wanted boys, so I undressed you and left you by the windowsill in the cold, thinking you wouldn't last long. It was sleeting.
Friend X heard I'd had the baby, came round and found you there, and saved your life. I pretended I'd fallen asleep by the fire downstairs.'

I was a very small baby and it was December. I was told this after Friend X
had died, so I couldn't thank her.

Mrs DeVere I had to come on to the thread to tell you how sorry I am on behalf of those nasty, thick, unaware twats. I'm staggered that anyone in a supposedly professional job (HV) would think it was acceptable to behave in that way (ignoring your son) or say the things she said. And the others .... just plain horrid.

I'm sorry for your loss.
Some absolutely horrible things said on here, but I think yours is among the worst.

Two weeks or so before I married exh, his gran rang me up to beg me not to marry him. Obviously I later came to wish I hadn't, but still ...

My grandmother, whilst dsil was still alive, said (dsis had learning disabilities) "She's a bit like a bright nine year old".

Sis was 22 years old.

When I was given the news that I may be going into early menopause and wouldn't be able to have children, I was telling my close friend at work what had happened when a senior manager walked past earwigging and said "well, it's not as if you wanted children. You're not exactly cut out to be a mother." - I had never said a word to the bitch about my desire or the lack of for a family.

Colleague told me to hurry up if I wanted children before I got too old to have them. At the time I was in my fourth year of fertility treatment.

My DM and DGM have form for this! Two weeks ago my mum was going through my wardrobe and exclaimed, "you're finally getting some taste, at last!"
Her, again: "why are you eating two cooked meals a day, you'll get incredibly fat" and, when I was 16 and a very slim 135lbs at 5'10, "you weight nearly TEN STONE?! I was only eight when I married your father" (she's a lot shorter than I am!).

My DGM was full of gems throughout my teenage years, I especially remember her actually screeching at my 13-year-old, incredibly self-conscious self, "don't eat that [chocolate bar], you'll get more spots!", while my uncle hissed "don't" at her from the sidelines.
Also, when I was in bed reading one night at 11pm-ish, she came in and went, "why are you still awake? Your brother's light's still on but he's revising for his GCSEs and actually making an effort, unlike you". (I got ten A and B grades, and one C!)

DH was on his 4th tour of Afghanistan, and I hadn't heard a peep from him for nearly 2 and a half weeks...no phonecalls, no letters, nothing - alarm bells begin to ring. When he is away, I usually avoid watching the news, but on this particular day, I went to my mums house and it was on in the background. It seemed like there was an endless stream of headlines about IED explosions, and fire fights affecting various units....I was understandably beginning to freak out with worry.
My bitch of an Aunt popped round while I was still freaking out, and said: "well if anything has happened, he's probably not dead...don't most of them just end up with no legs?"

She is such a tactless, vile, cow....I have not spoken to her since that moment.
(DH was fine by the way! Some cockend had dropped the satellite phone and broken it!!)

Also got told I was 'lucky to have avoided all that pain' after dc1 was born by EMCS.

Unplanned major abdominal surgery. The easy way out

Reading back through this thread, some of these are so cruel. I'm so sorry to the many posters who've shared nasty comments about their children, families, MCs, and deaths. People can be so horrendous to each other

Some of these remarks are just downright mean and nasty.

For those comments that are tactless though, do you think people get nervous and put their foot in their mouth? I'm not excusing any of these comments, but on my good days when someone says something to me that stings I can give them the benefit of the doubt that they meant well. Can't do this every day mind you!

In hospital after emergency surgery for a ruptured ectopic mother says "ah isn't it a pity they couldn't save the baby"

Said jealously, but with intention of offering get out route for bf, after me having a huff over bf flirting with FOF - "So do you find her more attractive than me? " Him- "Just in a 'my face or yours' sort of way" Cue- end relationship

Have a thicker skin nowadays