To ask what's the most tactless thing anyone has ever said to you?

[Squirrel78]

I've had someone come up to me today gushing "I didn't know you were expecting again?!" I'm not. Don't know who was more mortified - her or me! My stomach has grown over the last few months probably because I don't exercise enough. Now I'm tearful, depressed and embarking on a diet and the only thing that can cheer me up is s bit of shared misery!!

Truly shocking

Showing a dude I had a few dates with and who was quite into me a photo of newborn son. 'They're properly ugly at that age aren't they?'

He was peplexed to why we didn't go anywhere.

My godmother, at my parents' 50th wedding anniversary lunch.
"Oh Duchess, didn't you ever want to get married and have children?"
Er, well, you came to our wedding and my husband died 4 years ago...
Shortly before that I came upon my favourite aunt talking to my godmother. My aunt said: "Duchess, do you know xxxx?" Yes, aunt, I replied, she is my godmother. Cue hoots of laughter from my godmother and a bemused look from my aunt!

My aunt wouldn't put her snappy dog in another room away from my small DCs (it had tried to bite a toddler in the face the previous year) so we couldn't go to her milestone birthday party.

My uncle - her and my DM's brother - told me I was fucking pathetic and was making my terminally ill DM's life difficult.

Another aunt insisted on giving me birthday presents of bargain items of clothing several sizes too big as a teenager, because I wasn't thin like them.

Flipper, my mother had a similar brain/mouth bypass when she said "At least someone fancies you" when I told her I'd been sexually assaulted whilst out jogging. I have no idea why she thought this would be helpful .

"Maybe she can't feed because your nipples point down" said to me my a midwife in the middle of the night after I had been awake holding my baby and trying to feed her for over 70 hours following a traumatic birth.

Not to me but said to a lady on a packed commuter train

"Are you fat or you pregnant if you are fat you can have my seat?"
In fairness to the lady she turned around to the man and smiled very sweetly and said "I am fat".

My dear, late GM commented when greeting me after a long absence, "Oh, you're not so pretty now, you look just like your sister." . Managed to insukt both of us with one throwaway remark and there's nothing wrong with my sister's looks either.

"Oh you're so lucky, you have NO idea how much work having more than one child is." With fake sympathy, smugness and a knowing look. Acquaintance after she asked when DS would have a sibling and I told her never because I had multiple pregnancy losses, both late and early and that I'm now going through chemo for advanced cancer which don't know yet whether it's treatable.
I looked her in the eye and told her she must have great self esteem to feel smug about a woman with cancer who's lost multiple babies. She went red and apologised halfheartedly, the bitch.

Really sorry to hear the ones on here

Bloody hell MrsD how have you not punched someone?

We had quite a few 'hope they're not ginger' comments as DH is extremely ginger. And then when it became apparent that none of our 3 were going to have red hair MIL's cow of a friend asked if they were all definitely his

"At least someone fancies you" when I told her I'd been sexually assaulted whilst out jogging

Frankie Boyle would pay decent money for a line like that, you should put them in touch!

I was in hospital after traumatic labour, DBIL looks pointedly at my fat gut and says "so are you joining a gym or what?"

I wasn't offended as it was ridiculous and he isn't nasty, but it was definitely a weird thing to say!

When telling my best friend that I was getting divorced 6 months into an abusive marriage because my husband had hospitalized me....

She said.....

But what will people think?

A friend, when we were relaying the story about our baby having chromosomal abnormalities which meant not surviving to birth said (& she was truly being tactless, not mean) "you'll really appreciate your future children".

Not said to me, but I overheard the grandmother of a childhood friend say "girlandboy didn't turn out too bad considering she was a most unattractive child".

And my MIL on meeting my newborn DS for the first time. Granted he wasn't looking his best; a bit blotchy etc and he was BIG, but did she really need to pick up my DD at the same time and state that she was now holding "Beauty and the Beast"??

I had a c-section with my first baby due to him being breech. When I decided to try a vaginal delivery with number 2, my MIL said 'so, your going to do this one properly then'

There are probably more, but this has stuck with me for 20 years!

Wow, some of these are really awful.

Mine was said to me by my best friend's mum who was also like a mum to me, though she was always hard work. When I was pregnant my daughter was diagnosed with a lethal abnormality at the 20 week scan. When I told my friend's mum she replied, "You know I think it's for the best that she won't survive, you could never cope with a sick baby." I haven't spoken to her since.

These are all dreadful. Goodness!

My own gem is: having flown at a day's notice to my mother's funeral abroad with one change of clothes, glasses broken en route and mended with band aid, no makeup (nor desire to wear any)... one of my father's charming friends visiting the house asked me why I wasn't make more effort to look good.

Besides anything else I still can't fathom the logic. Look good for whom exactly??? Did he really think my father cared?

'Do you deliberately make yourself unattractive?'

Yes mum, to deter my stepfather

Two:
At the tender age of 14 with awful awful acne my bitch it an ex aunt mentioned "oh yes your cousin got spots, I bought him some soap have you tried that?" I still suffer acne and on a bad (feeling miserable about being single person) day I still remember her words when I look in the mirror.

Second was being offered a seat in the tube as I was a pregnant lady... I wasnt pregnant... But the lady stood next to me was 6months gone. Why did he offer me the seat before her

Some of these are genuinely

The "now you get to be a real mother might be the most awful thing I've heard of one person saying to another.

Just WTF???!!!!

Mine is just like yours, OP. Except I'd just lost all my baby (and breastfeeding) weight and was wearing a dress that hadn't fit me for years.

I will always have a bit of a tummy post-DC (my flat tummy was my pride and joy! Waaaaah!!) but I was definitely nowhere near big enough to say "congratulations on your fourth" to a woman you've just met.

And who is drinking booze and slightly pissed!!

Not only was I apparently pregnant - I was pissed pregnant!

I then proceeded to get plastered pregnant and called DH all upset and kept making him tell me I didn't look pregnant.

"Well we were disappointed you didn't go to a good university like your brother." DF, by which he meant Oxford or Cambridge!

"Look, you're the one that wanted her, it's your job now, just get on with it." ExDH on the first night home with my DD. the next morning he was back at work having taken a grand total of 1 day off. He denied it later but those words are seared on my heart and I truly hate him for sucking all the joy from what should have been a precious time.

In a different vein. Visiting a consultant after having been diagnosed with severe endometriosis, major surgery to remove an ovary and little to no prospects for ever conceiving naturally, he pipes up chirpily: did you know, it's fascinating, but in Africa endometriosis is very rare as women have children from an early age and with barely any breaks!

p.s. I did conceive naturally after several bouts of surgery and other treatment, having transferred to another consultant, I hasten to add.

A shop assistant once told me to "Cheer up" . I was shopping for an outfit for my Father's funeral.