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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what's the most tactless thing anyone has ever said to you?

456 replies

Squirrel78 · 15/06/2015 19:42

I've had someone come up to me today gushing "I didn't know you were expecting again?!" I'm not. Don't know who was more mortified - her or me! My stomach has grown over the last few months probably because I don't exercise enough. Now I'm tearful, depressed and embarking on a diet and the only thing that can cheer me up is s bit of shared misery!!

OP posts:
Coffeethrowtrampbitch · 15/06/2015 20:25

My dsis on first seeing DD 'Oh, potato nose!'

I have never forgiven her, she has always demanded unconditional worship of her children from other family members, and yet her first words to her niece were insulting.

Besides, dd's nose is fucking gorgeous Grin

toomuchtooold · 15/06/2015 20:25

Second pregnancy after miscarriage.
Colleague: are you having morning sickness?
Me: no
Colleague: because my mum had two miscarriages and she never had any morning sickness in those pregnancies.
Me: thanks for that insight.
(I went on to have a miscarriage so I suppose she had a point.)
Then, when I returned to work after the second miscarriage (close colleagues including her all knew what I was off for): first topic of conversation at lunch was "guess what? X who we all know had her baby yesterday!"

The odd thing was she was otherwise often quite nice! I could never get a handle on whether she was being nasty or just spectacularly insensitive...

lunar1 · 15/06/2015 20:26

Don't worry if you can't have children, your brother will give me grandchildren.

charliewolf · 15/06/2015 20:30

My previously sraight hair was growing back after chemotherapy and it was now very curly. When I explained this to my neighbour she exclaimed that she would have to have some chemo as she had always wanted wanted curly hair!

WickedCrip · 15/06/2015 20:31

"I'm worried your wheelchair is going to ruin my new wooden floor can you stay on this rug the whole time?"

Spadequeen · 15/06/2015 20:33

God there's some right bastards out there.

I've had the usual are you pregnant type comments which were hurtful, nothing like any of these.

QuietTiger · 15/06/2015 20:34

Neighbour to me after DCat had just been hit by a car and killed - "Oh well, you've got 7 more, it's not as if you'll miss him..." Shock

Different person 2 weeks after our DD was stillborn at 33 weeks following 3 days of labour - "Oh well, it's not as if she was born and then died. Will you try for another?..." We're no longer friends.

Magmatic80 · 15/06/2015 20:34

At the wedding of my younger DSis (which I was very happy about, love them both), my DGrandmother leaned in and said reassuringly in front of several relations, 'it's alright, your Aunty Margaret never married'. I was 22.

Sidge · 15/06/2015 20:35

DD2 was born at 34 weeks after I'd had a placental abruption. They told us when she was a few days old that she was likely to have significant brain damage due to hypoxia.

My mum consoled me by saying "I bet you wish she'd just died".

Magmatic80 · 15/06/2015 20:36

Gosh, mine's just tactless, you all have had dreadfully cruel things said to you Sad

4amOnATuesday · 15/06/2015 20:37

When at the age of 22 I had lost my mum and my nan to cancer within 3 weeks of one another and my other nan to a stroke 5 weeks later, my boss said "well I hope you don't have any other relatives left to die"!

PeppermintCrayon · 15/06/2015 20:37

"Oh, I thought [my recent ex at the time]'s was dating someone pretty." Who wasn't me. Thanks.

MrsNextDoor · 15/06/2015 20:37

"Ooh what have you don? Been in the wars?!"

When I was having a flare up of a skin condition. Angry

Happyringo · 15/06/2015 20:38

On my wedding day (I was in late pregnancy), in my wedding dress and feeling quite good, my SIL walks in and says "oh my god, look at the SIZE of you"

Kbear · 15/06/2015 20:38

MIL - was always tactless

We went to tell them we were having a baby - "oh I didn't think you were into that kind of thing"

I took her shopping every week as she was in a wheelchair... as I pushed her round shops she said "If I could have picked a daughter it would have been XXXXX ex SIL" who didn't take her shopping every week on her only day off and push her around in her wheelchair and clean her bathroom and help her with housework and answer the phone ten times a day to her .....

Yuleloglatte · 15/06/2015 20:40

The day after my very first foster baby moved to adoption. I was devastated. ( it gets easier with practice, but never easy). My mum said ' you can push my wheelchair if you are missing the pram'. It didn't help.

Kbear · 15/06/2015 20:42

just remembered ... a shop assistant in Next when I was returning a black tie (ordered a couple for DH for his dad's funeral).... "can I ask what made you choose black? " and pulled a "who wears a black tie" face.....

I explained that it is customary for men to wear a black tie to a funeral....

frumpet · 15/06/2015 20:43

Two things really stick in my mind . One said to me by a friend when I was 15 ' don't you think you are aiming a bit high with him ?' and after an hour and half faffing with photography equipment ' sorry I cannot take a decent photo of you ' said to me when I was 22 by yet another friend .

apieceofcake · 15/06/2015 20:43

I have vitiligo - White patches on my skin - they first appeared after dd 1 was born and as it was a very hot summer and I tan easily so they showed a lot. After diagnosis and being told there was no treatment. Dm said. "It's a shame they can't do anything because it looks really bad". Didn't do anything for me at all! One of many,many times when I've been a disappointment/ not good enough for her .

Petridish · 15/06/2015 20:47

Heavily pregnant after four miscarriages, a bright spark advised me to "try not to lose it this time".

speechless

ElsieMc · 15/06/2015 20:49

A parent at my gs's school said to me in front of other parents"He will turn out like his father you know, because he has his father in him".

My gs lives with me on a residence order because his dad is a violent, drug taking thug who nearly killed his most recent victim. Thank you so much for that wonderful vote of confidence.

Same parent excluded my gs2 from the school football team, called everyone's name out giving their positions, left my gs sat there and then walked off! The teacher had asked my gs play in the team. He then asked why we hadn't turned up at the match!

Not as cruel as some of the terrible posts on here by a long chalk, but this man is loose in our primary school as a volunteer and believes all truly love him.

tictactoad · 15/06/2015 20:49

Someone recently told me 'we'll never be friends' Hmm She looked a bit worried after Grin so I don't think she meant to blurt it out but ...Card marked, lady. Card marked.

BlueBananas · 15/06/2015 20:50

When I was 19 and 7 months pregnant my partner had just left me for someone else, I was sobbing to my Mum when my stepdad cane in asking what had happened.
Mum explained and his response was "oh no! And no-one else will want you now either with your baggage will they" Hmm just what I needed to hear!

tictactoad · 15/06/2015 20:52

And after a late MC I got 'well there was probably something wrong with it anyway'.

It was actually a clotting issue but don't let that stop you diagnosing Hmm

MrsKillianJones · 15/06/2015 20:53

I've told mine before under other names.

About 10 days after the stillbirth of my DS (and just 3 days after the funeral) I visited my GP. I was deathly pale, tired, recovering from a c-section, and grieving. He thought this was the appropriate time to literally shove handfuls of condoms into my cardigan pockets while saying, 'It's okay to feel sexy you know," repeatedly.

It was beyond tactless and into the realms of bizarre.

A different GP said, "It's for the best, it's natures way of getting rid of monsters," about my 14 week miscarriage a few years later.

I have bad luck with doctors. Hmm