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Original poster

To ask what's the most tactless thing anyone has ever said to you?

456 replies

Squirrel78 · 15/06/2015 19:42

I've had someone come up to me today gushing "I didn't know you were expecting again?!" I'm not. Don't know who was more mortified - her or me! My stomach has grown over the last few months probably because I don't exercise enough. Now I'm tearful, depressed and embarking on a diet and the only thing that can cheer me up is s bit of shared misery!!

OP posts:
pasturesgreen · 15/06/2015 20:00

When I was 13 and suffering from dreadful acne, a distant relative greeted me with, I kid you not: "Look how many disgusting spots you have on your face!"

That was more than 15 years ago, and to this day I still refuse to see said relative.

I was already self conscious of my appearance and her comments knocked what little confidence I had. I know I'm not doing myself any favours, but I can still hear her words playing in my mind when I have a particularly down moment...

PandasRock · 15/06/2015 20:00

I also had a visitor come and sit in my hospital room, following emergency surgery for an ectopic pregnancy that I was lucky to survive, and tell me how inconvenient it was that dh and I had to cancel our impending weekend staying with said visitor, as they had gone to lots of trouble to arrange nice things to do. Because losing a much wanted baby, part of my fertility and nearly dying was clearly a bad choice on my part Hmm

Sansarya · 15/06/2015 20:00

scarletforya, the young Glenn Close was stunning and she's still very good-looking today. Most women would kill for that bone structure so don't take it as an insult!

My family is from a culture where everyone seems to assume you aren't aware of your flaws so will point them out to you willy-nilly, even if they've only just me you for the first time, so I've heard it all.

mummyrunnerbean · 15/06/2015 20:00

MIL, upon being shown my engagement ring: 'It's a good job he chose a reasonable size stone- you have such thick fingers.'

Also MIL - 'I've been clearing out my wardrobe, and I had a look to see if there was anything you might like, but I've never been as big as you.'

Ex-boyfriend: 'I thought about asking out before you, but decided she was out of my league.' (Unbelievably, I remained in a relationship with him for two more years Hmm )

80sMum · 15/06/2015 20:01

"Well dear, there'll be no more bikinis for you will there?!" Midwife said this to me on her first home visit after DS1 was born, after looking at my stretched and baggy tummy. I knew she was right, but did she really have to say it - and with such relish? I was only 22.

FuzzyWizard · 15/06/2015 20:02

Pandas ShockAngry

PerspicaciaTick · 15/06/2015 20:04

Consultant1 (popping head round door to inpatient hospital room): "Good news, you DO have Lupus"

Consultant2 (some days later, as a casual throwaway line): "And of course, you won't be able to have children"

Both left me heartbroken. Neither followed up these statements with any offer of support, advice or additional information. I thought the Lupus would kill me in the next 5 years, and I'd never be a mother. Here I am 17years later, mother to two wonderful DCs and those conversations still hurt.

KurriKurri · 15/06/2015 20:05

'It's for the best really though isn't it' - a neighbour said this when my beloved brother died aged 35, - he had CP and as such obviously we wouldn't be feeling terrible grief but relief. Angry Luckily she said it to me while my mum was upstairs and I told her to get out before she totally destroyed my Mum by saying she should be glad her son was dead.

Wearit · 15/06/2015 20:05

When I was in the chemist, I recognised the lady behind the counter from my childhood. I asked her if she remembered me.

She did. She said, 'you used to be so pretty'. Thanks very much for that!

Earthbound · 15/06/2015 20:05

My MILs response upon hearing I was expecting DD was to talk about her own miscarriages. I do understand that my being pregnant may have brought up some difficult memories but surely she didn't need to say it in front of me?

Pegglebot · 15/06/2015 20:06

When pregnant with my second DS a 'friend' said to me 'oh well, at least one of them might be gay.'

SycamoreMum · 15/06/2015 20:06

"Sycamore's school trip was to a prison Hmm" because I live in Tottenham I replied, "No actually we went to Paris

Pandora37 · 15/06/2015 20:07

God, some of these are really awful!

I remember when I was 12/13 my mother kindly telling me I looked like I had measles due to my severe acne. Thanks, as if I didn't feel self conscious enough. Hmm

mughandle · 15/06/2015 20:08

These things aren't just tactless, they're downright nasty and cruel some of them Sad

dnwig · 15/06/2015 20:09

"How many weeks pregnant are you?"

Sonographer, when I went for a scan after a complete miscarriage.

Idontseeanydragons · 15/06/2015 20:10

Friend of DH's who came to see me in hospital after having DS: 'it's always the ones who shouldn't have children that have them first' he never spoke to her again after that one.

MIL: 'shame he didn't marry a local girl, there are some nice ones round here' (she was drunk so was I, I forgave her!)

FrinkadelicA12 · 15/06/2015 20:11

Mother of a good friend of mine just ( about a week) after my lovely dad had died suddenly - "well I'm sure your mum will be dying to meet someone quickly". I just gave her the hard stare for a loooong minute or two.

AccordingtoMe · 15/06/2015 20:11

Telling my stbxh that I was losing my hair again over stress (I get stress alopecia)

"thats careless of you"

Angry
WeirdCatLady · 15/06/2015 20:11

At my beloved Nan's funeral wake, my cousin asked very loudly if I was pregnant or just fat.

The room went silent and everyone was like Shock Shock Shock

Even my Aunt, who was a notorious witch, thought he was being a twat.

123Jump · 15/06/2015 20:12

I had the misfortune to mentor the biggest bell end when I was nursing. He was totally useless, arrogant, stupid and said the rudest things.
A couple of years later -he now worked as a Staff Nurse in the same hospital. We were in the lift, with a patient in a bed and a porter. He got in and said haven't seen you in ages etc. I said I was on maternity leave. "Oh yes, sorry about that, I heard".
I just looked at him, and said actually I'm married and it was planned-not that it matters.
Even the patient was embarrassed for him.
What.A.Cock.

Earthbound · 15/06/2015 20:12

Last week the barista at my favourite coffee shop asked me if I was pregnant. I am decidedly not but have put on weight recently. I obviously looked rather aggrieved because she nearly fell over herself to add that she noticed I'd been ordering decaf recently which is unusual for me! Grin

resipsa · 15/06/2015 20:13

After I'd made a modest, self-deprecating comment about my (not too bad) size 12 figure at the age of 25...'But Res, you're not that fat' Angry.

FlipperSkipper · 15/06/2015 20:13

People are awful!

My mother - 'never mind, at least you know you can get pregnant now' - when I told her my IVF pregnancy had ended in a missed miscarriage.

reni1 · 15/06/2015 20:13

Oh, she is ginger, at least she's a girl, would be even worse in a boy!

Mypubesarestraight · 15/06/2015 20:13

"Are you sure he's my sons?"
Fil the day after I had given birth to his sons baby. He was born jaundice Angry
He always has been a bellend that man.