To ask what's the most tactless thing anyone has ever said to you?

[Squirrel78]

I've had someone come up to me today gushing "I didn't know you were expecting again?!" I'm not. Don't know who was more mortified - her or me! My stomach has grown over the last few months probably because I don't exercise enough. Now I'm tearful, depressed and embarking on a diet and the only thing that can cheer me up is s bit of shared misery!!

How can people be so unbelievably awful? Just horrendous

Tactless - limping heavily with a torn tendon in my ankle - 'oh, what have you done to yourself?' Oh do piss off.

Downright cruel:

MIL to DP, who is overweight and very sensitive about it - 'aren't you disgusted with yourself?'

MIL to me, having disclosed that I have limited contact with my parents due to emotional abuse - 'but you're such a nice girl, I thought you would love them'

Came back to work after a few days off, colleague asked where I had been, I said I had been off with a vomiting bug - 'oh well, its a good way to lose a bit of weight I suppose'. Twit.

Another occasion, another colleague (scenario got repeated with several colleagues):
'wow, you've lost loads of weight! How have you done it?'
Me - 'I've been quite ill actually'
Colleague - 'oh well..... you look good anyway'
Piss off

Yet another colleague (!), on hearing that I'm not planning to have children:
'Whaaaaat???? Oh I bet you'll just get pregnant and then you'll have to get on with it' Utter bitch. Will never forget that.

Loads more I'm sure!

People are idiots, there's no two ways about it. I'm sorry for all the people who have been upset. I hope you find a way to forget the unkind comments.

I was having a minor gyne op as a day case but something went wrong bringing me out from the GA and I woke up 40 hours later in ITU. While I was still unconscious a doctor said to my husband, "You know only 1 in 5 make it out of here, don't you?" A complaint was made, but got nowhere with it. He was an arrogant twat. I'm still traumatised by what happened to me, 16 months on.

This is nothing compared to some and for so many of you but after my gallbladder operation as a teenager, which had gone wrong, one of the nurses said 'No-one will want to go out with you now you can't eat or drink anything nice for the rest of your life'. Other nurse told me off for being silly and making a fuss when my morphine ran out.

Cute boy on a beach, 'actually you look alright now it's darker!'

Wanker

Such a sad thread

My stories really don't compare to others on here at all (but here goes anyway)

Colleague when discussing my mum having cancer:

"My dog had cancer" (well meaning but ignorant)

Housemate at uni, when I was talking to another housemate after a friends severely disabled sister had died.

"Well, it's not like having a proper sister is it......... more like a family pet" (just ignorant)

Oh, and another one, a few weeks after my mum died and a work colleague's husband had died.

Receptionists at a different office branch to where we worked (but knew us well) ranking types of death (child then spouse then parents - just so we know) in front of me as I was waiting to pick up a package.

"I love you but I don't like you at all"

Yes I had this one from my mother as well when I was about 13 - admittedly I was being a bit of a cow over friends with a disabled daughter who I didn't want to write a birthday card for or something similar, but the mother was and still is a user and still hassles my mum to do favours for her and never offers favours for my mum!

My mum thinks she can say what she likes to me because that's what mothers and daughters are like. Really?

We were away for Easter (this year) and she told me one evening that my top made me look pregnant. She also said that my hair was too long (she likes it in a bob, I like it too but the problem is that when it grows a bit, I look like Myra Hindley and that is NOT a good look! Admittedly she tells me that's rubbish (it isn't). She constantly tells me all the ways my house could be improved (I'm the one who lives here, improve your own house) and I need to calm down and not get het up about everything!

but compared with the stories on here, she's fine really!

I've been the tactless one on occasion and have gone home feeling awful about what I said. Once I did apologise to a friend afterwards by email and fortunately she did speak to me again.

Being given a mug of tea with the words 'Best Dad in the world' while staring at the body of my dad who had just died at hospital.

This thread is upsetting me. I can't fathom how people can say such vile things to someone.

Being told ' I bet your glad you are not pregnant now ' the summer I had a MC by my pregnant bitch SIL

"Sorry to hear your mother died,"

(said about a week after she died. Cue various polite noises)

"Oh. You don't seem that fussed about it. Guess it's not such a big deal for you"

(Person walks away. Friendship promptly ends)

I was mourning the loss of my son who was born prematurely and sleeping.

My childhood best friend had come round to cheer me up and said.......

"At least it's good practice for when you give birth properly one day"

I was

A male colleague who I didn't know well phoned me up while I was off work after a 12 week miscarriage.
" I'm so sorry you lost your baby, I know just how you feel cos my cat died a few months ago"
I can actually laugh at that one now

In the sauna, I was asked how I had got so fat and I should loose some weight. The lady in question didn't realise there was anything wrong in her comment and was quite shocked when I pointed out she was rude and it was socially unacceptable to make such comments.

Waiting in an oncology clinic. Octogenarian gobshite lady kicks off that someone goes in to see the doctor before her. Huffs and puffs to me and then says "What are you here for anyway?"

""Erm, I have cancer".

"Well, at your age at least you can't have it very badly..."

Wish I had known about ODFOD in those days!

myself, dh, dm, db and dsil at my house discussing a family wedding we were attending overseas that summer. conversation got to what to wear mediterranean country, mid august dm said that I should wear a cheeseburger as a fascinator. everyone was just flabbergasted that she had said it and sat their with their chins on their laps. It took everything in me not to cry and run out the room. my db quickly changed the subject. I had my 4 week old son in my arms. (hes 9 this year and I still haven't forgiven her)

This is awful. You look like a kinder version of Katie Hopkins. Ouch

When I was about 15 I had awful acne, I used to cover it desperately with foundation. Out shopping for the day with my dm...'oh I don't know why you wear that make-up, you look like you've got rice pudding on your face'. Well thanks mother! I've never forgotten it...and never really forgiven her for never helping me with my acne, just sort of letting me deal with it alone and almost laughing about it.

overheard at a hospital labour suit when visiting DSIL after her baby died at 42 weeks of pregnancy. There was a woman in the next room and something had happened in her pregnancy or labour and she had lost both her twins and had to deliver them. I heard her mother on the phone outside her room telling someone that "it's the best thing that ever happened to her, the twins dying"

fuck sake, that was the worst thing I've ever heard. It was brutal what she was saying about her daughter. I felt sick.

I'm cherry picking some of my best ones. Most delivered by my family, I havd minimal contact with them.

My dm - you'll never guess what he calls disabled parking bays? (Whilst laughingly pointing at her partner) Cripple Spaces! Hahahahaha! My DS was diagnosed with a disability aged 6yrs

Speech therapist when I was seeking help with Ds as he quite clearly had problems with his speech "you do actually talk to him don't you?" No fuckface I shove him in a cupboard while I drink gin all day.

Mil, when we told her I was pg with dc2 "oh you'll just leave ds out now won't you?"

Mil "you just dumped ds in that nursery all day". Ds did go to nursery 3 days per week. Mil didn't want to look after ds for even one day, yet slated me about the nursery. I had no choice but to work either.

Sister - when ds was going through diagnosis. "I don't feel I can talk to you about my childrens successes because it's like rubbing your nose in it...... You're always going on about ds"

Father when mother was leaving him "the next time you see me will be when you're dead". I was 12yrs old

Father "the only reason your bf (now dh) is with you is because he's the only one that will have you"

Mother - "c'mon Bella Emberg" or "c'mon Cyril Smith" I wasn't fat either am now though

Mother laughing and reenacting every school play I was ever in when we got home.

Teenage friend "you're not that ugly"

It's a wonder I'm so wonderfully fantastic nowadays

SIL: complaining about a child with autism having to share a classroom with her pfb "Honestly, his mum think he's clever. He's not fucking clever. He's disgusting. He just dominates the class. Why do these kids have to be in mainstream? Why should my kids have to share a classroom with them? Anyway, at least you don't try to insist your ds is intelligent (my ds also has autism).

Note: she's a teacher.

I have a very different idea of what is meant by tactless! These examples are nearly all abject cruelty or abuse!
I'm shocked that so many HCP are downright offensive, cruel and insensitive. You shouldn't need training to show compassion to someone who has lost a baby!
Some of these examples just take my breath away!
I'm so sad for all the people who had parents who were anything other than their biggest fans.