To ask what's the most tactless thing anyone has ever said to you?

[Squirrel78]

I've had someone come up to me today gushing "I didn't know you were expecting again?!" I'm not. Don't know who was more mortified - her or me! My stomach has grown over the last few months probably because I don't exercise enough. Now I'm tearful, depressed and embarking on a diet and the only thing that can cheer me up is s bit of shared misery!!

I want to start exercising but I do t want to get all big and muscle like you

After being told at 22 weeks pregnant that our baby want going to make it, 'oh well, you're still young enough to have another try'.
And about four weeks later 'haven't you snapped out of that yet'. So-called best friend. We are piecing things back together. She blames her asd for not seeing it in the same light as me

At an airport, an old lady commenting on how beautiful DD1 is, she was 'gasping' at how beautiful and exotic looking she thought she was, asking all sorts of questions of where DH is from (Spain).

DD2 comes along and the lady 'gasp's' again, 'are they really sisters?', she then says "Awwww God love her, poor thing, she got the Irish looks, it's going to be hard for her growing up with such a beautiful sister" FFS.

DD1 looks like DH and DD2 looks like me, her Irish mammy, double whammy in one swoop.

After my fourth miscarriage, my SIL was sad and said to my MIL that it wasn't fair that this tragedy had happened, MIL smugly said "No one said that life was fair".

Cow. Condescending cow.

"Friend" who learnt I was pregnant called to congratulate me and DH who is from a different country:

"And you know, bilingual kids they are prone to schizophrenia because they cannot cope with the 2 languages ..."

What the actual fuck??

My DM told me that I look 'ghastly and really very odd' without makeup. TBH she just makes me laugh.

Several people have asked me when my baby's due - years after youngest's birth.

Some of these posts are truly heartbreaking though.

In a psychiatric hospital, DC was 11 weeks old. I was suicidal thanks to a combo of PND, bad reaction to medication and complete, panicky insomnia for over a month.
Friend texted. "Are you having a good rest in there? DC had me up half the night, I'm exhausted."

"Are you having a good rest in there? DC had me up half the night, I'm exhausted."

Reminds me of something a former landlady said to me once. Nothing like on the same breath-taking scale of thoughtlessness, but this woman did have a habit of turning everything into a competition. I came down for breakfast one morning, she asked me something, can't remember what, I apologised for being out of sorts because I'd had a bad night's sleep. "Hmmph" she said "just the one? I never sleep well".

What she didn't know was that from the age of about 12 well into my 20s I'd been borderline insomniac, struggling to get to sleep and if I managed it, struggling to stay asleep. It was initially down to the stress of being bullied at school but it stayed with me for a long time. It took a lot of work from me on improving my sleep hygiene, and using valerian, to sort it out. However, sometimes I still have problems so when I say I've had a bad night's sleep, I do have some awareness of the problem.

MrsDeVere

Sad to say, I reckon there are some people who use the "just in case" idea as an excuse to get the gory details simply because they want the gory details for various morbid reasons.

LOL, how did I forget about the time that I tried to book a doctor's appointment for after work (5pm). I called them at 9am but they were totally booked up, and the only slot available for the entire day was at 11.30 am. I had a stye in my eye, and those can get nasty if not attended to ASAP, so I took the only available appointment.

My boss yelled at me that I was being "inconvenient".

Having just been diagnosed with mouth cancer and discussing the treatment etc my consultant said casually "well, don't worry too much about loosing weight because you do have some weight to loose". Well I wasn't at the bottom of my bmi limit no, but still!!

Gabilan, your mentioning turning everything into a competition reminded me of my experience. My DF died unexpectedly and very suddenly of a stroke 4 years ago. He lived the other end of the country to us, so was not able to be with him at the end Three days later after little sleep and much travelling I met a "friend" on the school run (took dd2 to school as it was her birthday, she had sweets to share with her friends, trying to keep a bit of "normal" etc). Told her that I'd just lost my dad and she replied "oh, we've just had that too" in sad tones. I was taken aback as I knew that her father had had a medical scare recently, so said " not your dad too?". Then she explained that it was actually her DH's grandma that was ill. Just had to compete

Ex H when DD was a year old (he'd left by this time): "Any woman less selfish than you would have had the abortion I asked for."

DD was planned.

When I had cancer. It was a stage I but another lump (not cancerous was found during a scan and had to be biopsied). Consultant - throw away comment 'If this is cancerous this will make a significant difference. You will go from a stage 1 to a stage 4. In other words (he didn't say this bit but obviously I knew ..... it would go from being curable to terminal)

Step mother about me having a miscarriage on Ivf attempt number 4, "have you ever thought its nature's way of telling you you'd be an awful parent"

Stepmother on seeing my wedding dress (after the ceremony) "have you come in your nightie?"

Stepmother on seeing DSis's engagement ring "is that a small diamond, it's very discreet isn't it?"

I don't think she means to be unkind.

Forgot to add some for all on this thread. The unkindness of some people beggars belief. Thank goodness for the good 'uns

Just thought of one a friend whom I met during chemo told me: when she had just been diagnosed with cancer the 'support nurse' said the good news is you get free prescriptions for the next 5 years.

"You're very attractive for someone who is black"

whyayepetal fortunately in my landlady's case sometimes it was so petty it was just funny. "I saw my first swallow today". "Well I saw one two weeks ago". Oh good for you, have a prize.

"You're very attractive for someone who is black"

Well I suppose it saves holding up a sign saying "I'm sexist and racist"

Got told I was a shit mum because I go out to work and am therefore abandoning my daughter.
(this hurt as I'm working hard to make life better for my daughter...)

Also been asked if I was pregnant
(Surprised at quite how quickly smiles disappear when I reply "no, just fat thanks")

I can't believe the callousness and tactlessness of some people.

My examples pale into insignificance. I'm an older parent and was shopping with DD (probably about 2 years ago). Woman in the shop said something to me about taking my grandchild out. I said, "Oh no, I'm her mother".

Woman in shop, "Are you sure?"
Me "Yes, I was there whilst she was being delivered"
Woman "Well, I mean, you can't tell. Women have babies so young now.."
????

There was also the person I used to correspond with who was having some personal issues of her own. She'd visited me a few times and met my parents. I wrote to tell her my Dad had died. I got a letter back that said, "Sorry about your Dad. I'm still having a lot of problems but I can't tell you about them...." the letter went on about her for a bit and ended with "If you don't want to keep in touch, don't worry about writing back" So I didn't.

I worked with a horrible woman. She told my colleague that 'if wasn't for your awful skin, you'd be quite pretty'

And there was also the midwife, who checked on my friend two hours after she'd given birth, and said, "Well, you've got a lot of weight to lose!"

oabiti !!!