To ask what's the most tactless thing anyone has ever said to you?

[Squirrel78]

I've had someone come up to me today gushing "I didn't know you were expecting again?!" I'm not. Don't know who was more mortified - her or me! My stomach has grown over the last few months probably because I don't exercise enough. Now I'm tearful, depressed and embarking on a diet and the only thing that can cheer me up is s bit of shared misery!!

Friend was invited to a 'Tarts & Vicars' fancy dress party and asked to borrow an outfit - 'anything from your wardrobe would be ideals!'

I don't own a single cassock.

I wish I'd aborted you.
You're nothing more than a defective freak.
Why can't you just die from that damned allergy.

All from my mother.

It's not as though you're a real mother.
You'll never love them like you would your own.

By people who know nothing about adoption.

It could be worse, at least she's not actually your child.

Said by a nurse when dd was fighting for her life in picu.

While I was perusing wedding dresses (for me) in a very posh designer shop, the sales assistant decided to help me by showing me a dark grey dress and saying "some of our older ladies like this sort of thing".

Exit Dido.

Andro

I clicked on this thread expecting a few light hearted, even humorous responses, But I have to say most of these are just disgusting.

My best ones are from my dad and my MIL

"You've put on a bit of weight!"- My Dad just before my sister's wedding, I'm 5 months pregnant.

I've got quite a few from MIL but can't be bothered to write them here, shes not worth it!

'You have no sense of humour' said by BIL after telling me DP had changed his mind and not coming to marry me then watching me crumple with distress and anxiety as I arrived at the Registry office on our wedding day. Horrible man.

I can't believe some of the things that have been said by health care professionals

I'm not saying all HCPs are angels (I'm a nurse and DH is a doctor) but I'd expect them to have a bit more tact; they get paid to care for people for pity's sake.

to everyone who had been upset or hurt, deliberately or unintentionally.

As a spotty teenager, I went to the doctor with an earache. He said, "never mind your ear - what about your FACE?"

When I came round from my anaesthetic after my emcs I instinctively put my hand to my scar when the nurses moved me on to another bed. Nurse barked at me "are you thick? I told you not to touch it" I hadn't heard her in my drug induced state.
When in labour with dc1 I called out during an intense contraction, midwife shouts "shut up and stop making such a fuss". I gave birth with no pain relief.
I work with disabled children. Bil says to me "why do you want to work with wronguns and retards. Why not normal kids!" DH called him a fuckwit. I thought he was going to hit him!
Some of these are shocking!

Wow.
I thought my own mum was queen of the tactless squad until I read this thread! So many of the comments on here had me scraping my chin off the floor and making my hands clench into fists!
My mum said the following after I'd spent two hours at the hairdresser having a hair trial for my wedding.
'Oh no! Why did you have to go for something so messy?'
It was all I could do not to thump her.
At a friends wedding - the bride had asked several friends to each sing something as part of the entertainment. Afterwards my mum said: -
'I'm glad you went on before Xxx as she has a much better voice than you.'
On mentioning I would be singing a solo when my sunday school group were singing a song during the service: -
'Don't show off, don't embarass us.'
On hearing I'd been passed over yet again for my karate black belt: -
'Well I don't think you're good enough either.'
I'll stop now. It hurt a lot as a child, but as an adult I know she has no idea what she's saying.

Thinking of HCP I've had loads but the one that sticks in my brain was last October/ Nov when I was very ill with pancreatitis complicated by existing conditions. Important to story is the minor detail that I am severely disabled and very poorly from the existing conditions, and pancreatitis had been going on for two years as gp didn't want to hear more problems from me.

Anyway, I'd been transferred to another hospital who were supposed to be brilliant at pancreatitis as mine wasn't responding to treatment/ monitoring. They also didn't know why I had it as everything was too inflamed to see on scans...

Cue arsehole consultant doing his rounds, didn't even talk to me or look at me, was too busy dripping pearls of wisdom at his gaggle of students. He says, to them, not me
"And this patient has a standard case of pancreatitis probably caused by long term alcohol abuse"

Err, what???!!!! Excuse me says I, Firstly it's not an uncomplicated case I have X disorder which means I've been transferred urgently to this hospital at 2am. Secondly, how dare you stand there and talk about me to your students saying I'm an alcoholic??? I can't even drink alcohol due to my condition and the meds I'm on. I'm actually violently ill of I drink even an inch of wine. Which you'd know if you looked in my notes"

His reply- to his students again, not me "And of course this is a great example of patient unreliability in reporting, and untruthful ness."

Then walked off. Never even turned round to face the bed. Let alone actually looked at ME.

Fucking bastard scum. The thing that really hurts is that going to dinners or bars, or even having the odd champagne cocktail is so far beyond my reach as my life has been shredded by my disability and I'm bed bound 20-24hrs a day. I couldn't even get to an offie to buy alcohol for myself. I'm have carers who I'm completely reliant on. So actually, he displayed such ignorance, it was soul destroying.

Oh and when he bothered to do another ultrasound it turned out I have loads of gallstones which is the main cause of pancreatitis. So no need to even think about alcoholism, let alone accuse me of it ignoring all evidence to the contrary.

I've got to have an operation now but I've put it off as I don't trust them to treat me adequately on a clinical level let alone a human level.

for everyone on here - mine are just trivial ones.

It's lucky you're so undemanding because that makes it less likely I'll go off with someone better looking (said by my then DP who I continued to go out with for 5 years).

I didn't think you would end up going out with someone good-looking like him! (said by a friend about the same DP).

And he wasn't even all that. the prick.

MiscellaneousAssortment I really hope you complained about that appalling attitude from the consultant. What you wrote was absolutely staggering.

I got pregnant at 17 and my father was furious that I wouldn't have a termination. He said to me 'let's pray for a miscarriage or still birth' he then went on to say 'you've fucked up your life, what man will ever want you now, you're damaged goods!'
I didn't speak to my parents for 5 years and gave birth alone.

You're much prettier now that you are slimmer - you can see your facial features more.

MIL.

What more do you expect!

These comments are not tactless . They are cruel wicked and needlessly nasty I've name changed for this as it could put me IRL.
Any way this is going back a while but a friend well so called you'll think when you hear the comment, but she got pregnant, and was delighted. Ok nothing wrong with that. Every women had the right to celebrate and be proud of her pregnancy, absolutely they do, but I was also trying and when she told me I felt jealous inferior and deflated. All I could manage when she told me was "Oh".
And she said smugly if you can't handle the fact that I'm a proper women and can have children and you can't get pregnant, then tough.
Any way I looked her right square I. The eye and said. Those words will come back and bite you. I don't know when of where or how.
Any way fast farward years later. She is no languishing in prison due to stabbing an expectant mum, because she was jealous. There is a back story but if I go into it. I'll be here all day,
Thank fully mum and baby were both fine.
But those words did come back to bite her, didn't they.
Think they call it Karma, and we all know smugness is her worse enemy.

Someone I used to call a friend is full of these kinds of things but the most recent was astonishing even for her. This came about 18 months after the last time she'd spoken to me, which was to have a go at her for not telling her I was pregnant before I told anyone else.

Me: we're moving house. We've cleared my dad's estate (dad died very suddenly and rather unexpectedly given I spoke to him a few days before to tell him his first granddaughter had been born) so we're buying somewhere a bit bigger.

Idiot ex friend: Oh you're so lucky!

Yes. Clearly my father dying was a massive stroke of luck on my behalf.

'People are infertile for a reason. They're not meant to have children because they would be awful abusive parents. They shouldn't interfere with nature.'

During a (successful thankfully) round of IVF.

My lovely best friend can be pretty tactless. My ds has autism and after an assessment last year i was told he might have to go into residential care in a few years. When i told my friend she said it was alright as i can still see him at weekends. She once told me that i was lucky as she'd read a nice story about a child with autism and had always wanted an autistic child. She changed her mind after ds trashed her house. Her 2 kids are both fit and healthy she doesn't realise how lucky she is.

These are awful (with the possible exception of Glenn Close lady as I think that's a compliment personally). Amazing what makes people say such awful things out loud.

People who tell you how bad your spots are. What's that all about?

I get cold sores fairly regularly and you can bet at some point, someone will say: "oh you've got a big cold sore!" Like, I haven't noticed or something - but you're so observant. Well done you!

Some of these are shocking and disgusting!

Mines not as bad and more tactless than disgusting but I had just come home from the hospital after having a miscarriage. My sister knocked on my door and asked if wanted to see some new clothes she had just bought for her newborn.

Talking about cold sores, I had a rather large one I was desperately embarrassed about when DH's nan came out with 'Whats that huge thing festering on your lip?'. At a family get together. Most of whom I dont get on with.

It was also she who asked, when I was dragged along to a family get together the day after a miscarriage, if I 'was all better now?' Only a tiny thing but hated the old witch from that point.

Oh and of course the classic.

After DS died aged aged a couple of weeks old, I was told I was 'lucky' as I "didnt have chance to know him, its much worse when the child is older."

When looking at pics my fil had taken of me with my son the day after having a c-section ( I was a bit puffy and tired looking having had no sleep the night before or the night before that and lots of tears) my father in law pulled one out of me looking lovingly at my little tiny boy and said "we won't show anyone else that one - you don't look your best." Of course I don't look my best I had just had a) 2 nights of missed sleep b) a major operation c) been nil by mouth for 24 hours and so dehydrated d) greasy hair e) a small tiny person removed from my insides and now firmly clamped to my boobs!!!