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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to move G&T time to 5.30 pm? And to ask when you have your first drink?

97 replies

retrocutie · 14/06/2015 13:33

I have my first (alcoholic) drink of the evening at 6pm. It's always a large Gin & Tonic, followed by a glass of red at dinner. And maybe something else later if it's the weekend.

Honestly, I'm having such a miserable and stressful time at the moment and I seem to spend the time between about 4.30 pm and 6pm looking at the clock! I feel so much better after a drink, I instantly relax.

WIBU to bring the time of the first drink forward by half an hour, to 5.30pm? I dunno, it seems a bit early.

And may I also ask those who drink, what time you have your first drink?

Ta.

OP posts:
someonestolemynick · 14/06/2015 13:39

Tbh in the nicest possible way your post hints at an alcohol problem, if you are clock watching until you're 'allowed' to drink.

Please see your gp.

jeee · 14/06/2015 13:42

I don't know whether you want us to point out your alcohol problem, or validate it. But I think you know you drink too much. Please find help.

PureMorning · 14/06/2015 13:42

If you can't get through the day without its a problem

ilovesooty · 14/06/2015 13:45

I don't drink at home usually or during the week at all.

It sounds as though tackling your stress levels might be the way to go.

Original poster
retrocutie · 14/06/2015 13:45

Gosh, not the response I was expecting! And no, I don't have an alcohol problem, I just like a drink in the evening to relax, in the same way that other people have baths or eat chocolate.

OP posts:
SugarPlumTree · 14/06/2015 13:45

So sorry things are bad at the moment and hope they improve very soon . Flowers

To be honest I agree with someonestolemynick that now is the time to be very careful around alcohol. I've known a couple of people where you are now and think they'd say if they had their time again this would be the time they would have made some changes rather than it escalating.

Gruntfuttock · 14/06/2015 13:47

Using alcohol because of misery and stress is a very bad idea and will lead to more problems, not fewer.

Original poster
retrocutie · 14/06/2015 13:47

Thanks SugarPlumTree, I don't drink more than the recommended units for my build, so I think I'm OK health-wise.

OP posts:
OurGlass · 14/06/2015 13:48

You've got a problem it sounds.

Gruntfuttock · 14/06/2015 13:49

How many days a week are completely alcohol-free?

ilovesooty · 14/06/2015 13:49

When I was under unbearable workplace stress my alcohol consumption was like that but it did escalate.
That's why I suggested that looking at the cause of the stress might help.

WorraLiberty · 14/06/2015 13:50

When people hear the words 'alcohol problem', they often think 'alcoholic'.

It's not always the case though. You sound a bit 'alcohol dependant' at the moment and that could be a problem.

To answer your question, I don't drink before 9pm but then I never go to bed before 1am.

CuttedUpPear · 14/06/2015 13:50

That's a regular alcohol habit.
Can you have a few nights a week without a drink at all?

CuttedUpPear · 14/06/2015 13:51

....and having a bath every night doesn't lead to health problems. ..

takemetomars · 14/06/2015 13:56

no, YANBU. Move your first drink time to whatever time suits you. You are using it to destress, you know this. If you have no propensity for alcohol dpendence this will not be an issue long term. However, there ARE more appropriate ways to deal with your stress.
I think that some of these posts are a little. over the top!!

someonestolemynick · 14/06/2015 13:57

This article might be a good sounding boardwww.promises.com/articles/alcoholabuse/how-to-recognize-a-high-functioning-alcoholic/

Sorry, can't do a clicky link from my phone.

Click watching for your first drink is a big, biiig red flag as is 'treating' stress with alcohol.

howtodrainyourflagon · 14/06/2015 14:00

Op - I think it would be a good idea to talk about your alcohol intake with a health care professional. Sometimes it's hard to have perspective on the issue when you're in the middle of it.

Hopefully other posters' concern will prompt you to seek some help.

gamerwidow · 14/06/2015 14:01

You need to find other ways to reduce stress. Your relationship with drink isn't healthy. You shouldn't be click watching until your first drink. What are you going to do when 530 isn't early enough? Where does it stop?

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 14/06/2015 14:04

I don't now I'm pregnant.
And I can honestly say I haven't missed it a bit.
It's awful to feel ruled by something be it alcohol gambling food etc. Get help please

FindoGask · 14/06/2015 14:13

I might have a glass of wine with dinner a couple of times a week - we eat early with the children so that would be about five thirty.

I think some of these responses are a bit alarmist, but that perhaps reflects my own attitude to alcohol, which some people here might also think was dangerous. For example, I really wouldn't go to the GP to ask whether it's OK to have your one G&T of the day at 5.30 instead of 6, as your first respondent suggested!

That said, I think it does sound a bit as if you're using alcohol as a crutch, and if it's every night you're probably drinking over the recommended weekly units, so maybe try to have a drink-free night every other night.

BadLad · 14/06/2015 14:15

Usually 8:30 on Friday, 7 on Saturday. 7 on Sunday if Monday is a holiday. It's a couple of beers or a beer and then a bottle of wine (shared with wifey).

Fairenuff · 14/06/2015 14:16

And no, I don't have an alcohol problem, I just like a drink in the evening to relax, in the same way that other people have baths or eat chocolate.

You have a problem in that you are starting to rely on the alcohol. This can escalate very slowly. You are already asking if you can have a drink earlier than the time that you have chosen as 'acceptable'.

Do you have this same dilemma over having a bath?

Posters are pointing this out to you to be helpful, not hurtful or accusatory. Is there something else you could do to destress?

FindoGask · 14/06/2015 14:20

Re: recommended units for your build, OP - a large G&T, home measure, would be between 2 and 3 units; a glass of wine would have 3. So assuming you're drinking 7 nights a week, you could be drinking over 35 units a week.

Not to alarm you - but just to be a bit more scientific about it.

watchingthedetectives · 14/06/2015 14:23

I think the key is whether this is every night - if you are having a large G and T and a home poured glass of wine that is probably 4 units a night without the extras at the WE.
That's more than 30 units a week - your build doesn't really come into it.
If you only drink this 2-3 times a week of course it doesn't matter if it's 5.30 or 6 but if you are desperate for it every night and watching the clock it definitely indicates a problem.

InexperiencedDisneyMum · 14/06/2015 14:23

You sound like you have a problem. It's not normal to drink daily in my opinion. I don't drink and don't understand why people need to. For a special occasion yes but not on a day to day basis.

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