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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to move G&T time to 5.30 pm? And to ask when you have your first drink?

97 replies

retrocutie · 14/06/2015 13:33

I have my first (alcoholic) drink of the evening at 6pm. It's always a large Gin & Tonic, followed by a glass of red at dinner. And maybe something else later if it's the weekend.

Honestly, I'm having such a miserable and stressful time at the moment and I seem to spend the time between about 4.30 pm and 6pm looking at the clock! I feel so much better after a drink, I instantly relax.

WIBU to bring the time of the first drink forward by half an hour, to 5.30pm? I dunno, it seems a bit early.

And may I also ask those who drink, what time you have your first drink?

Ta.

OP posts:

MayPolist · 14/06/2015 14:51

you have an alcohol problem and every time you post you are further demonstrating this.

FindoGask · 14/06/2015 14:53

Some of you are very much going the wrong way about trying to help the OP, if that is in fact what you believe you are doing.

sunseeker66 · 14/06/2015 14:53

I have a few vodkas or a few wines normally start at 9pm. I probably drink too much.

froggyjump · 14/06/2015 14:56

I regularly leave work really wanting a glass of wine, but I don't want to drink while DS3 is around (DS's 1 and 2 are teenagers) so delay it till he is in bed. Invariably, by 8pm, the desire has gone and I feel much more chilled anyway. If not I'll go out for a walk or something for 1/2 an hour - if I still want one after that I have one!

So possibly, rather than drinking earlier, you delay your first drink till later it will help?

PenguinBollards · 14/06/2015 14:57

"Some of you are very much going the wrong way about trying to help the OP, if that is in fact what you believe you are doing."

Ok, so how do you tell someone who with an alcohol dependency that that's what they have? (Genuine question, not snarky in any way at all.)

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 14/06/2015 14:57

Bloody hell OP, bet you didn't expect that when you pressed post message.

In answer to your question 5.30 is fine to me.

Gruntfuttock · 14/06/2015 14:59

The OP has such a black or white way of looking at things. If you don't drink like she does, you're a teetotaller. I like a glass ofr red wine occasionally, for what it's worth. What I don't do is watch the clock for when I'm "allowed" to have one.

ChocolateBreakfastBalls · 14/06/2015 14:59

You do have a problem, sorry. I don't drink daily, I see no point in it. I don't put a time limit on it either though, if we go out for lunch and I fancy a glass of wine I have one. I wouldn't have gin for breakfast either, mind.

You need to seek help, clock watching to drink time isn't a healthy habit.

keeptothewhiteline · 14/06/2015 15:00

I have my first G&T around 5pm. But I only drink one day a week- a Saturday.
Usually followed by two glasses of wine then bed by 9pm.

FindoGask · 14/06/2015 15:03

Penguin, I wouldn't tell someone I'd never met that they have an alcohol problem. If I thought their consumption was excessive, I would suggest ways that they could reduce it, as several people on this thread have. But labelling a stranger on the internet and then lambasting them for not immediately accepting that label is not really a sensible way to go about helping them.

Sazzle41 · 14/06/2015 15:09

Honestly, I have been you. It destresses for a short while then you start to need it and it soon becomes 4 every night, then 5. And home measures are twice size of pub measure. I did it for a while and now i barely drink at all I have found better coping strategies.

If you are stressed, as soon as you get in, or the day is winding down have a bath or shower, then a cup of tea and do nothing but potter and dont think about the stressful sitution. Eat a proper meal. You will feel like a different person. If you are still obsessing re the stress, read or watch a movie or internet surf you favourite things. Your brain needs to switch off from the stress or you get mentally exhausted and that effects you physically in a vicious circle.

Are there any things you can implement as coping strategies when in the stress do to 'manage' it or make it more do'able? If its work stress can you plan to do the urgent first prioritise the rest in order of deadline etc or ask for support. If its personal stress are there strategies or options that might help like counselling, getting friends/family support, seeking legal advice, getting mediation?? Alcohol really, really isnt the way forward.

ilovesooty · 14/06/2015 15:10

I simply said that she might find it helpful to address the source of her stress and unhappiness rather than risk the problem escalating.

Suddenly I'm a bloody teetotaller.

BigPawsBrown · 14/06/2015 15:11

Don't drink for a week, OP, if you're sure you don't have a drinking problem. If it's hard, there's your answer.

kissmethere · 14/06/2015 15:11

It depends on my mood, the fine weather has seen us share a cider at 5 then nothing else til gone 8 or 9.
It does sound like its something you look forward to and depend on to relax. It's understandable.
I would consider how much you look forward to it and maybe try to go times not doing it.

googoodolly · 14/06/2015 15:13

OP has buggered off anyway

ImperialBlether · 14/06/2015 15:56

OP is sitting in her garden on her third gin and tonic thinking, "Those stupid bitches, if they hadn't called me an alcoholic I'd only have had one of these!"

Littlecaf · 14/06/2015 16:02

Talk about making a mountain out of a molehill! The OP was trying and failing to be lighthearted. This thread has made me want a G&T. And it's only 4pm!

keeptothewhiteline · 14/06/2015 16:07

I have just had one!!

Have something to celebrate though.

ImperialBlether · 14/06/2015 16:09

What are you celebrating, keptothewhiteline?

ilovesooty · 14/06/2015 16:10

The OP was the one who said she was experiencing stress.

Suggesting she might explore that rather than turning increasingly to drinking doesn't seem unreasonable to me. Stress and alcohol use to combat it isn't lighthearted really.

keeptothewhiteline · 14/06/2015 16:15

Ok I will spill.

OH and I are in our 50s, together 20 years, sex has been off the menu for a number of years.
OH has been working so hard, suffering stress, and things were dreary in the bedroom dept.
However a couple of weeks ago he started a new job, he was headhunted, big pay rise, he is loving his new job.
Strangely now he is like a newly married man in the bedroom dept.
I had resigned myself to a future of near celibacy, but after the past few weeks our sex life has taken a big upturn so to speak.
After this mornings two hour session I am feeling a little tender ( as is he).
So all good, ( although bracing myself for tonight).

Merits a G&T I think.

ImperialBlether · 14/06/2015 16:18

Oooohhh keeptothewhiteline, that is fantastic! Lucky you! Lucky both of you in every possible way! That man's got a new lease of life, hasn't he?!

ImperialBlether · 14/06/2015 16:19

And have the children left home, so you have privacy? If so, even better!

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 14/06/2015 16:19

keep definitely warrants a G+T, cheers! .

keeptothewhiteline · 14/06/2015 16:24

Thanks. X

Imperial- no we have teenage kids. I have found keeping quiet quite difficult. Luckily our bedroom is in a different are of the house.

Not been using contraception though- surely pregnancy is not possible at my age? I am 53, no menopause symptoms, fit and healthy, v regular cycles.
OH is a little concerned despite my reassurances.

I had no idea that stress could have such an impact on libido. My poor OH.

He has a lightness of step that I haven't seen for many years.

Sorry to derail the thread.

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