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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to move G&T time to 5.30 pm? And to ask when you have your first drink?

97 replies

retrocutie · 14/06/2015 13:33

I have my first (alcoholic) drink of the evening at 6pm. It's always a large Gin & Tonic, followed by a glass of red at dinner. And maybe something else later if it's the weekend.

Honestly, I'm having such a miserable and stressful time at the moment and I seem to spend the time between about 4.30 pm and 6pm looking at the clock! I feel so much better after a drink, I instantly relax.

WIBU to bring the time of the first drink forward by half an hour, to 5.30pm? I dunno, it seems a bit early.

And may I also ask those who drink, what time you have your first drink?

Ta.

OP posts:
Original poster
retrocutie · 14/06/2015 14:25

Well, I have been drinking in more-or-less the same pattern for 35 years, so I think if it was going to 'escalate' into a problem, it would have done so by now… Grin

OP posts:
watchingthedetectives · 14/06/2015 14:29

Sounds like you don't really want to know if YABU - you just want validation for your drinking habits

PenguinBollards · 14/06/2015 14:29

Clock-watching in order to countdown to the 'allowed' time for your first drink of the day is quite a worry, especially if this drink is essential to help you 'relax' and feel better.

If alcohol is such a significant point in your daily schedule, and is necessary for you to feel that you're functioning well, then I do think you need to consider the fact that you have an alcohol dependence issue.

TheFairyCaravan · 14/06/2015 14:29

I don't drink and I don't think it's normal to drink everyday. I really can't stand this idea of "wine o'clock". I don't understand why people need to drink everyday.

PenguinBollards · 14/06/2015 14:33

"Well, I have been drinking in more-or-less the same pattern for 35 years, so I think if it was going to 'escalate' into a problem, it would have done so by now… Grin'

So do you genuinely want to know whether YABU, or are you asking for 'permission' to start drinking earlier in the day?

After all, if someone on the Internet said it was fine then you're definitely not a person with a drinking problem, are you?

WorraLiberty · 14/06/2015 14:33

Well, I have been drinking in more-or-less the same pattern for 35 years, so I think if it was going to 'escalate' into a problem, it would have done so by now…

Try going a week or two, strictly with no alcohol before you decide you're not drink dependant.

If you can manage it easily, then you're right...you don't have any kind of problem.

purplemurple1 · 14/06/2015 14:34

If I drink in the week it os one glass of wine around eight oclock (once or twice a week). On a Saturday I normally have a beer in the afternoon and then wine with dinner around seven and a glass of wine or a vodka and coke in the evening.

googoodolly · 14/06/2015 14:34

It's not really healthy to drink everyday. Even if what you drink isn't excessive, you should be having a couple of alcohol-free nights a week.

Anyway, to answer your question, I only drink once or twice a week, and I've never clock-watched. If I fancy a drink, I have one, but I don't spend an hour and a half beforehand counting down. That's what stands out to me as being unhealthy in your OP.

ilovesooty · 14/06/2015 14:35

Well you obviously don't think you're BU so why did you post? I don't suppose you've been under this level of stress for 35 years either.

Original poster
retrocutie · 14/06/2015 14:38

I do sometimes, WorraLiberty, if I'm in training I don't drink at all. I like to have a drink, though. I have quite a stressful job and it's nice to unwind in the evening with a Gin & Tonic. And a glass of wine (particularly red) is meant to be very beneficial for the heart.

To be honest, with everything coming out now about the dangers of sugar and its connection with cancer, I think a couple of drinks a night is probably better than stuffing your face with chocolate or biscuits, but that's just my opinion.

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 14/06/2015 14:40

If you've been drinking like this for 35 years, then I'm guessing you are in your mid fifties and probably do not have small children to look after.

What is causing your stress at this time of day? Is it when you get in from work?

Original poster
retrocutie · 14/06/2015 14:40

I guess I am bored as well. I never know what to do with myself in the time between coming home from work and eating dinner. The kids are doing their homework, everything in the house is done… it's an odd time of the day.

OP posts:
Gruntfuttock · 14/06/2015 14:41

You start a thread asking if YABU to start drinking 30 mins earlier than usual and want to know at what time other people start drinking. Both those things suggest both a preoccupation with alcohol and a degree of concern about it being 'OK', otherwise you wouldn't ask.

How many alcohol-free days do you have a week?

Fairenuff · 14/06/2015 14:41

Ah, x posts there. It's just strange OP that you posted about changing your drinking routine by just half an hour if you really don't think you are in some way dependant on it.

Gruntfuttock · 14/06/2015 14:43

"I think a couple of drinks a night is probably better than stuffing your face with chocolate or biscuits, but that's just my opinion."

You talk as if those are the only choices. How about doing neither?

PenguinBollards · 14/06/2015 14:43

I like to have a drink too. But it's not everyday, I don't watch the clock in order to countdown to it, I don't need it to make me feel better or to relax, I don't need other people to tell me whether the way I drink is reasonable or not, and I don't try to justify it as being 'less bad' than other dependencies or habits that I could have instead.

Original poster
retrocutie · 14/06/2015 14:44

I'll leave the thread now, it was meant to be lighthearted, I didn't anticipate being ambushed by a horde of teetotallers. Tatty bye!

OP posts:
googoodolly · 14/06/2015 14:46

Drinking isn't the answer to being bored, OP. If you have nothing to do after work, you need to find something to do - go to the gym, take a bath, read a book, do a hobby, find a TV show to watch an episode of everyday - it doesn't matter what it is, but your afternoon shouldn't be spent wondering whether it's early enough to have a drink or not.

ImperialBlether · 14/06/2015 14:46

Do you have to be in the house at that time or do you have a husband who is also there? If you don't have to be there, could you go swimming or to the gym or for a run?

If you do have to be there could you get a treadmill and run on it for half an hour?

Or could you lie on the sofa with a book?

If you're drinking earlier because you're a bit bored, that doesn't bode well, really.

Also do you want your children to see you drinking every day?

ImperialBlether · 14/06/2015 14:46

x post, googoodolly!

WorraLiberty · 14/06/2015 14:47

Blimey, I'm certainly not a teetotaller! Shock Wine Grin

Fair enough OP

If you want to carry on drinking like that for the next 35yrs that's of course up to you.

But I suspect a few posts might have given you food for thought hopefully, and that can't be a bad thing really.

PrawnJalfrazi · 14/06/2015 14:47

I've just poured a glass of wine - it's Sunday and I felt like it. I never look at the clock, but on a weekday if I do fancy a drink it is usually about 5pm - once the school run is completed, tea is cooking and homework is underway. That's my favourite time for a gin and tonic!

findingherfeet · 14/06/2015 14:48

I like a large glass of wine most nights and sometimes it's that early but more likely 7pm.

I make myself not drink every night though I'd quite like to and do a couple of dry months (for weight loss more than anything) me and DH certainly overdo the drinking when we're stressed out, it's a quick fire relaxer but easy to become a nightly thing. But yeah as others have said so long as know that you're well above rec units if it's every night you can perhaps try a dry night or twos week. Having the odd drink at either 5.30 or 6 won't make any difference.

PenguinBollards · 14/06/2015 14:48

Really, if you're drinking to fill a gap in your day/life, and you can only see alcohol consumption as either 'every day at G&T o'clock' or being teetotal, then your attitudes to alcohol are royally fucked up. But you don't want to hear that, of course Wink

ilovesooty · 14/06/2015 14:51

I'm not a teetotaller either.
Perhaps if you only want people to validate what you're doing you should phrase your question accordingly.