Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Original poster

so pissed off that yet again I have been mugged off

174 replies

CoolAs10Fonzies · 14/06/2015 08:57

I'm probably being a selfish twat but I am just so pissed off right now and I cannot see any other point of view except mine. I am also nursing a sore head from last night.

we were due to collect dsc today at 1pm. This is the normal arrangement and we have them week on week off. dd is at her dads so Sunday morning lie in after a night out. you'd think wouldn't you. .

exw calls dp asking can we have dsc from 07.00am this morning as she has arranged something to do with her hobby. so he jumps out of bed shoves clothes on and goes off to collect them this is all very well and good.

I stay in bed, boys come home get settled then dp comes in to bedroom with tea, telling me that he is needed at his hobby today and is leaving to go at 08.30am.

I have been mugged off haven't I?

so the boys mother gets to go off and do her thing, boys father gets to go off and do his thing and here's me, nursing a mild hangover, being dragged out of bed to look after 3 dss (3,5,7 )

this is not the first time either.
Tell me I am BU to feel pissed off about this situation.

disclaimer: this thread is no reflection on how I feel about these boys

OP posts:

BathtimeFunkster · 14/06/2015 09:43

groundwork - you've been played.

Which is really, really shit of him.

You are less "family" than "convenient babysitter" for him and his ex.

You have one child. Why on earth are you now responsible for their decision to have 3 close together?

differentnameforthis · 14/06/2015 09:46

Hardly a favour if you were due to have them anyway, they just arrived a bit earlier..

But I do agree that he should have made you aware that he was going out before he agreed..but then you say you are a family, so as a family, one often picks up the slack when the other is away.

All semantics really, but they can't be hard word, cos you are MNing.

TwartFaceBeetj · 14/06/2015 09:47

In that light........ Yes ground work.

So yes I would be majorly pissed off.

Go out on your own or with friends this afternoon.

Tell him in future you will point blank refuse to but up with being a mug.
So if he dosen't want the embarrassment of letting his hobby or extra down. He'd better not make those sort of arrangements In the future.

If there's a next time, get dressed go out. Come back when it's to late for him to go. Then go back to bed. Then ask him what he thinks of your relationship and how he treats you.

TwartFaceBeetj · 14/06/2015 09:49

*Ex stupid phone

BathtimeFunkster · 14/06/2015 09:51

Having them hours earlier is a favour.

Being family doesn't mean being treated like you don't matter.

ImperialBlether · 14/06/2015 09:56

You've been played. What he said last night sounds really manipulative.

God that would make me mad, both of them off doing their thing and you minding their children!

RebootYourEngine · 14/06/2015 09:57

I am the only one who thinks that he wont be home at 11am. Something will 'crop up' and he will need to stay.

googoodolly · 14/06/2015 09:59

Ooh x-post again. That definitely changes things a bit - it's groundwork and I think I agree with reboot that the match will over-run or something else will happen and he'll need to stay later after that.

Original poster

CoolAs10Fonzies · 14/06/2015 09:59

reboot. my thoughts exactly. let's see what happens

OP posts:

TwartFaceBeetj · 14/06/2015 09:59

reboot
Not just you

Original poster

CoolAs10Fonzies · 14/06/2015 10:07

differentname, yes I am MNing but not from the cosiness of my bedroom with a flannel on my head as per my plan

its sat downstairs with pissing cbeebies on (or minecraft upstairs) and I think you'd agree that with a banging head cbeebies and stampy are not soothing sounds.

I had a drink last night under the assumption that I would have a quiet morning to myself. that's why I had those extra shots

OP posts:

ImperialBlether · 14/06/2015 10:10

There's no way that his ex woke up at 6.30 today and remembered she was training. He knew about it.

He sounds incredibly selfish. One of you was going to do what they wanted today and he decided it would be him.

AspieAndNT · 14/06/2015 10:11

Will he let you know if he is going to be later than 11am? If so tell him that you will bring the children to him.

ElleGrace · 14/06/2015 10:11

YANBU, definitely thing you're being taken for granted. Maybe if something very urgent had come up, then it may be acceptable for dp to ask you if you minded looking after dsc but to tell you that he is going somewhere (that doesn't seem like an emergency) is just plain rude.
He doesn't seem to appreciate the fact they are in fact not your children, they're his and his exw's.

ElleGrace · 14/06/2015 10:11

think*

Finola1step · 14/06/2015 10:11

Yep, you've been played. Sounds like the early pick up was arranged before this morning. Last night was all about him buttering you up so that you picked up the slack this morning.

But you are in fact providing childcare for the ex wife, not your dp. Will she be offering the same in return next Sunday?

carabos · 14/06/2015 10:16

Could this be why he and XW are divorced? Neither of them willing to give ground on their all-consuming hobbies in order to function as a family? They must be in their element now they've added another able-bodied mug adult into the mix to pick up the slack. They sound like they deserve each other. .

Original poster

CoolAs10Fonzies · 14/06/2015 10:18

Finola, you are joking aren't you?

she would point blank refuse

OP posts:

stayathomegardener · 14/06/2015 10:21

What is your relationship like with ex wife?

I might be tempted to be straight with her and ask if it was prearranged on the basis it is not fair on the children to be in limbo, even if they are currently unaware of that.
One of their parents is not sorting out the handover correctly and I would want to know which one.

Original poster

CoolAs10Fonzies · 14/06/2015 10:22

carabos. nail on the head!!

her hobby (and the fact that she was fucking her personal trainer) is the reason for the split

dp has only got more involved in his hobby this past 18 months (we were already together)

I suppose I enable this.

I don't mind at all when I have dd, having 3 more kids around isn't too bad.

I object when I don't have dd. I should be afforded my child free time too

OP posts:

Original poster

CoolAs10Fonzies · 14/06/2015 10:23

exw and I have never met!
there have been opportunities but I have pulled out (shitbag)

OP posts:

ImperialBlether · 14/06/2015 10:26

There's a hell of a lot of difference between minding four children and minding just your own one child!

If he has a week without his children, that's when he should be doing all his adult stuff - when he has his children he should be looking after them.

Is he selfish in other ways?

Original poster

CoolAs10Fonzies · 14/06/2015 10:31

imperial, tbh he is not at all selfish in other ways, certainly does his fair share and is very loving/attentive.
But he is a people pleaser imo
wont say no to anyone and then I have to step up to save the day.
my fault. I enable this shit

OP posts:

ImperialBlether · 14/06/2015 10:32

But you are a person, too! He does say no to you, doesn't he?

I think you do have to be a lot firmer with him, tbh, otherwise you're going to get walked all over.

Original poster

CoolAs10Fonzies · 14/06/2015 10:36

its like the path of least resistance

my wrath isnt as bad as that of exw (I dont have the power to take his kids away - this is threatened regularly)

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Swipe left for the next trending thread