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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cashier... Am l being unreasonable?

198 replies

Feminine · 07/06/2015 18:53

This isn't the first time he has done it.
So, l shouldn't have returned to his till - but l thought he wouldn't do it again.
This particular chap enjoys hiding an item, if he knows the child is waiting/wanting it.
Today it was a packet of nasty frozen themed cup cakes....
As soon as he has scanned them, he hid them under his keypad.
My daughter is six and she was wanting to take them straight away.
For what must have been at least two minutes, he claimed they had disappeared!
Dd was confused and kept checking the conveyor belt, the basket... The belt.
I kept thinking "oh he will give them back in a moment" he made her wait an eternity...
Poor girl was going to cry....
I know l could have said something, but l wanted to also be kind to him.
It went on forever.
Him laughing ... And me looking confused with a weak smile on my face.
Plus, he has done it before. With some sweets of hers.
It was also quite apparent that dd was upset.
I'm not going to report him, l just wondered if anyone else finds this odd.
I know he is doing it to be 'funny' but l think he has (again) over done it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Feminine · 07/06/2015 21:09

Sorry,lying you had a question.
Yes, l teach my daughter how to shop.
that is what she was attempting to do.

OP posts:
completelydisappear · 07/06/2015 21:10

I coped as well as l could, in that moment

I'm sure the whole event was extremely distressing and traumatic for all involved. I'm so happy that you managed to cope.

What a ridiculous non event.

Get over it.

Original poster
Feminine · 07/06/2015 21:15

I hope you feel better now you've told me that. Wink

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 07/06/2015 21:26

He was just playing and wasn't to know that your child would get upset.

However, you and your Dh knew so a simple "Oh look DD, he's hidden them there" would have put the whole thing to bed immediately.

GnomeDePlume · 07/06/2015 21:28

DD works for one of the other supermarket chains. Her opinion is that this is inappropriate. You would be doing him a favour by making a complaint before someone punches his lights out.

Original poster
Feminine · 07/06/2015 21:40

Unfortunately or fortunately l suppose,he isn't one to notice if someone is not particularly enjoying it.
It is a show.
It isn't about how wed handled it.
Although, l admit my title is incorrect.

OP posts:
Original poster
Feminine · 07/06/2015 21:42

*we

OP posts:
The5DayChicken · 07/06/2015 21:46

Speaking about tornadoes of stupidity, will you be standing by and smiling the third time this man upsets your DD? Hmm

Fingeronthebutton · 07/06/2015 21:57

I think your the wiedo by colluding with a would be sadist. ie, not saying anything to the creep who was deliberately upsetting your child. Shame on you.

Clearoutre · 07/06/2015 21:58

Tricky one - I'm going to assume the cashier thought you would all have a laugh and it would bring light relief to what must be a pretty tedious shift for him especially in this nice weather. He clearly went too far and it ended up being irritating - I guess some people can't see where that line is OR we all see the line differently?

Anyway, you probably can't stop him doing this for good unless you complain. FWIW my policy is that unless someone's behaviour is unacceptable I'd avoid complaining about anyone who is likely to be employed on or around the minimum wage as that is not easy to live off especially if they're just trying (but failing) to be friendly/funny.

In order to put a tactful stop to it I'd try by joining in - i.e. "Ooooh look I can see the cakes hiding under the keyboard, shall we ask the man very politely if we can have them back?" I HOPE he'd play along and give them back.

Unsure what to do if he still insisted they had disappeared...may be just carry on packing the shopping and then walk off in the hope of getting the 'hidden' items back as quickly as possible!! If you end up at his till again you could make a semi- joke and say "My daughter didn't want to come to your till as she thinks you'll hide her treats and I said if she asked you nicely then you wouldn't hide anything"...I hope that wouldn't be very wrong to put words into her mouth!!

TwinkieTwinkle · 07/06/2015 22:03

The man tried to engage with your child, it backfired. Explain to your child he's playing a game. What is the issue?

Original poster
Feminine · 07/06/2015 22:29

Thank you clear for your post.
I was about to give up hope ;) .. Good ideas :)

OP posts:
Samcro · 07/06/2015 22:31

you wanted to be kind to him??
why?
Iwould have shouted at him

Original poster
Feminine · 07/06/2015 22:32

I'm not decided on reporting him.
As l explained in my opening post, l didn't want to.
Some posters thought that (for his own good) he might need reminding.
I posted to guage if others might find his trick too much.
It has been an interesting response. ;)

OP posts:
CamelHump · 07/06/2015 22:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CamelHump · 07/06/2015 22:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Feminine · 07/06/2015 22:37

sam l know what you mean.
It isn't a big store, not many tills...
Just thought l'd give him a second chance l suppose.
To go back a bit, l'm thinking....
It isn't relevant how my daughter reacted either. The question is, really, should he have done it at all ?

OP posts:
TwinkieTwinkle · 07/06/2015 22:37

Iwould have shouted at him

Why?

Original poster
Feminine · 07/06/2015 22:40

He has told me how spoilt he is. (I've had the complete background story previously)
How he gets away with anything at home.
How his mum waits hand and foot on him.
He has masses to say. Grin
I suppose he just doesn't know when to stop!

OP posts:
CamelHump · 07/06/2015 22:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ApplePaltrow · 07/06/2015 22:45

Ugh, report him. Nobody wants god damn jokes at the till with their food, never mind with their kids. He's a complete idiot.

Also - why are people chastising you? Sometimes when someone behaves so inappropriately, you freeze. You don't know what to do because you're in shock. You were in shock because he was acting like a prick.

Report. Report. Report. He needs checking.

Original poster
Feminine · 07/06/2015 22:48

Thank you apple for getting the feeling at the time.
It is difficult to convey it here.
Being careful to not be too precious, or forgetting a vital point.
:)

OP posts:
TwinkieTwinkle · 07/06/2015 23:00

Ok, so let's report a guy and potentially cost him his job because he attempts to engage with our children and occasionally gets it wrong because, y'know, all children are different. My god! As I said earlier, my son would have liked this, it would have kept him amused while I was bagging the shopping.

People who work in supermarkets can't win: they seem grumpy because they don't communicate enough. They are upsetting the children! because they try to have a bit of fun. They're fucked really.

SeenSheen · 07/06/2015 23:01

Report Report - the bloody world has gone completely mad!

If you knew your child was too young to play along with the joke then you should have stopped it - end of.

Shakey1500 · 07/06/2015 23:06

So you've gone from not going to report him to now being undecided. And that's based on a minority saying they would?

Despite a pp suggesting it's how it would be reported there's still a chance they could choose to discipline him. What if, in the (hopefully) extreme, they sack him? How would you feel then?