To think dirty nappies should be dealt with in the bathroom?

[UsernamesHarderThanBabyNames]

One of my close friends has a lovely baby daughter, around 10 months old, and I'm heavily pregnant with my first. The last two occasions they've visited me at home, the baby has needed a pooey nappy changing. Am I being unreasonable to expect her to do this upstairs in the bathroom rather than on my living room floor, with just a muslin between her dirty arse and my nice rug?! Not only does it stink but the baby is an enthusiastic crawler and flails around trying to escape, pooey bum in the air, while my friend gropes around for wipes etc. I haven't said anything (I now feel like it's too late) but have moved across the room to be further from the stench which has prompted my friend to say "you'll have to get used to this!" to which I've responded "I'm sure it's different when it's your own" even though that's not really the point since I don't plan to change stinky nappies in the living room, especially not when the baby is at an age when they're eating solids! I'm not even particularly houseproud so can't work out if I just don't get it because I'm not a parent yet?

I would always ask where to change my baby's nappy in someone else's home. Most people say "wherever you want to".

In my home though, I have a changing table in the nursery so if I'm upstairs, I'll do it there. Downstairs I have a 'trug' filled with wipes / nappies / bags / bum-cream / hand sanitiser and a changing mat shoved under the sofa. Sometimes I do it in the garden if we're out there. I do it where's convenient!

Tiny breastfed baby? Change on the settee, on the coffee table, on my knee, where ever I was basically, in my house, someone else's house, whatever.

After six months, with a weaned, mobile, adult sized shit baby, bathroom every time, unless we were outside, always with a mat, not just a piece of the thinnest cloth known to man.

I am not particularly house proud, have no carpets or rugs and two dogs, but would be deeply unimpressed with someone changing a nappy as the op describes in my house, I'd rather not see or smell thanks.

I have seen identical thread go in the entirety opposite direction too op, where everybody would of said YANBU, that's just mn for you.

I've never taken any of my three to my own or anyone else's bathroom to change nappies, I've also never seen anyone else do it

Yanbu. I hate it when people do this...

When at home without company I'll change them wherever but at someone else's house I would always change a dirty nappy in the bathroom.

My own children's dirty nappies are grim enough but other people's make me gag.

I wish I'd known so many change in the living room when my dd was a baby! We had a changing station upstairs in the bedroom and it did feel like I was going up and down stairs all day! No one else was in the house, what eould it have mattered!? Some people I knew even kept their changing station downstairs but I thought that was a bit lazy! We did use cloth and as others have said it's easier to be near the loo/nappy bucket whichis upstairs in bathroom. At friends' houses I'd always change her in the bathroom.

YANBUand I don't see why you are having a hard time. I change my DCs nappies everywhere in my own home, but when visiting friends I ask what is acceptable. I think it's perfectly reasonable not to want a shitty nappy changed on a living room floor, although it is highly likely you will change your mind about your own child soon.

Are you sure she used a muslin cloth and not a disposable mat?

In someone else's house I would ask, and change wherever they wanted me too, as this is polite.

In my own house we have a mat and change stuff downstairs and a mat in ds's bedroom - ds often needs carrying up the stairs, and at 5 I try not to do it too often, so changing downstairs is a lot easier on my back! There isn't enough room in the bathroom to change ds. Wash hands in bathroom or kitchen depending if I'm upstairs or downstairs.

At someone else's house I'd offer to go wherever they want.

At home I always change in the living room, my bathroom isn't big enough anyway. I don't even bother with a mat anymore

At home, I changed wherever it happened. Baby wipe my hands, nappy straight outside if downstairs, nappy bin if upstairs. Wash hands in kitchen if downstairs, bathroom if upstairs. The bathroom at our house has a tiled floor, and DD got far too big to fit on a changing mat.

In anyone else's house, I would change a wet nappy wherever we were, but for a poo I asked where to go. Never been directed to a bathroom, usually if people didn't want you changing them there I was directed to a bedroom.

Yanbu.

It is considered 'normal' to do this for some reason that I've never understood.

Personally I would only change on the living room floor in my own house (unless it's just a wee. If I was at someone else's house I would definitely ask. Particularly if it was the house of someone who isn't used to the smell of baby poo!

I remember what it was like before I had my own baby and I would be super grossed out / shocked by dirty nappies. Bleugh.

I wish people would learn to it on their laps. Better for backs,rugs and mn thread arguments .

YANBU.

It is rude and disgusting to assume that people don't mind you changing a pooey nappy in their living room. I don't care what you do in your own home.

And this has nothing to do with whether you're child-free or not. I have friends with 3 kids who totally agree.

YANBU. When you're changing a baby at someone's house, it's polite to ask where is best to do it. I wouldn't suggest the bathroom, though, unless your bathroom is big and you have a changing mat there - bathroom floors are stinky and uncomfortable to lie on. Maybe direct her to the spare bedroom or something.

Also a bit surprised at people telling you how naive you're being, and it'll all change once your own is born etc. Yes, your own baby's nappies are a bit easier to deal with. Yes, it's ok to have the changing stuff upstairs. You may change your mind once the baby is here, you may not. For the first few months we had a changing mat downstairs and one upstairs, but now that he poos much less, we take him upstairs every time - it's fine.

You'll figure out what works for you as you go. In the meantime, if your friend wants to change a nappy, use a bout of queasiness as an excuse to send her elsewhere. And don't listen to all the smug "You'll have to get used to this!" comments. You'll find your way when the time comes.

Yanbu. Don't recall any friends changing nappies in our lounge.
Also the fact you need to wash hands afterwards, going bathroom.afterwards means touching door handles and stairs bannister.

I don't mind if people change their babies' nappies in my living room, but I do think it's the height of bad manners to leave nappies behind at someone else's house rather than wrapping them in a bag and taking them back to your own house to dispose of. Especially when you know they don't have children in nappies themselves.

One day I'm.going to pluck up the guts to say so rather than half grimacing and smiling and saying "of course it's ok" as they put them in my kitchen bin for ME to deal with.

YANBU. I have 8 mo DS and at home he's changed in his room on changing table. When staying with DH friends I changed him in the bathroom on his mat, I wouldn't subject everyone to his poo and he loves a pee mid-change so don't want to risk covering their living room in pee!

If I was visiting I'd never change a dirty nappy in someone room. At home however as DS is DC2 he gets changed all over the house. In fact I've just done his lovely post breakfast poo in the hallway between the kitchen and playroom where DD is playing

I've always changed my children in a bathroom (on the change mat on the floor) and would expect guests to do likewise. Probably also in a minority because I have always taken dirty nappies straight out to the wheelie bin outside too.

I got bored reading all the replies but I am pretty surprised.

I always went upstairs to change dd1 in the bathroom on the changing table and then when we moved house I did dd1 and dd2 on the changing table upstairs or downstairs. I don't like groping around on the floor.

And other children's stinky poo in your living space in your living area is beyond gross.

I'm not houseproud at all and my children are basically always naked these days but I still don't wave pottys full of poo around.

Why wouldn't you walk a few extra steps to the changing mat, with fresh nappies, wipes, fresh clothes in nearby drawers if required.

All our nappy stuff is kept downstairs. We don't have a changing station either, whatever that might be.

Poo aside, I think if you're pregnant and already judging other's parenting to the extent of starting threads here about it, then you are in for a steep learning curve.
Though do come back when you have a baby and tell us how badly behaved other people's 3 yos are :D

I have two children and I think the OP is not unreasonable at all! I always change nappies in the bathroom because frankly this is where it belongs! For DC2 we got a changing unit fitting over the bath and once she started trying to crawl off we got a nice big padded changing mat for the floor. This way I can quickly chuck solids into the loo, keep smells contained and can hose down poonamis if necessary. I find it strange that so many people are objecting to doing nappy changes in the bathroom. Especially in the OPs example where the baby is already 8 months old. Typically an 8 months old doesn't poo every hour so it shouldn't be too much of an effort.
I was never too happy when friends were using my living room floor for nappy changes but never said anything.

YANBU. As a guest in someone else's house nappies (especially poopy ones) should be changed in bathroom or in their baby's bedroom if set up for changes. Never in main living area. It's gross and unfair.

At home it's more practical to have a change mat upstairs and one downstairs (as long as there's somewhere to wash hands).

I've got 2 children but mine are both past the potty training stage. Changing a poopy baby in my lounge would upset me as much as before I had kids. I think for a few years after having a baby your tolerance for shit increases but doesn't mean you should force this on everyone else!

By the time you've got to your third child you've changed bums and got your boobs out in all sorts of places to really care.
Personally I would ask my friend or family member if they had a preferred place for me to change my child's nappy but no one ever minded me doing it in their lounge because I was a dab hand at changing wet/shitty nappies on my knee even when they were fidgeting toddlers. It was a trick I used to be proud of hahahaha.
Probably a good idea to remove that rug then op because shit doesn't always stay in the nappy!
Good luck!

YANBU. Your guest should have asked.

Middle ground here, changed DD in the living room or wherever when she was tiny but once on solids shifted the mat to the bathroom. Would always ask or just use the bathroom (with the mat from the changing bag) in someone else's house.