To not tell my OH his car was stolen?

[Yulia989]

We went away on holiday last week and took my car as it’s bigger than OH’s sports car.

We returned late Saturday night and after we’d unloaded the kids and cases I went to park my car at the end of the street. OH had left his car there for the week thinking it was safer at the end of the cul de sac rather than outside the house.

When I got to the end I noticed that his car had gone. I knew he’d left it there and nobody else had access to it so it was either towed (not likely) or stolen.

Now I’d just driven for 3 hours (OH slept) after a 3 hour flight with kids, and really didn’t want to go through the hassle of waiting for the police to visit when we could just do it in the morning after a nights sleep. I know that OH would have done it immediately though but then he wasn’t as tired as me!

So I said nothing and we went to bed. In the morning he went to the car and obviously it wasn’t there, went through the process of calling the police and it still hasn’t turned up. I feel a bit guilty about lying to him, but did it really matter in the end?

I'd be amazed if the police came out for a stolen car, where do you live Ballamory? I doubt its being raced about if its a classic, I'd be seriously pissed if my non existent DP did that to me and my cars a wreck.

I'd be amazed if the police came out for a stolen car, where do you live Ballamory?

One icon MN could desperately do with is the "You Owe Me A New Keyboard" icon. Since we've just had a -screen interaction

I would wanted it reported ASAP, people could be going through speed cameras commited a crime and all sorts.

Sooner you report it the less damage can be done.

YABU
Bloody hell, how can you not tell someone that their car has been pinched because its late and your too tired to sort it, and you were driving tired and risking yours and the kids lives
not your finest hour OP

Police don't come out to you for a stolen car. You give them details over the phone, the put the reg on their stolen car system so it'll ping up on an ANPR or if someone else reports it as abandoned, as did happen to me. It's always worth reporting ASAP. A lot of car thieves that steal high value/prestige cars will leave them in quiet residential places for a few days to see if the car has a tracker (mine didn't but thieves aren't to know that). When my car got stolen, this happened. A resident of where it was dumped reported it to the police as they didn't recognise the car. The police arranged for the car to be retrieved - not a scratch on it thank goodness.

I'd have felt morally obliged to mention the theft straight away.

Sorry, but despite your tiredness I think you behaved disgracefully. I guess you realise that now though.

If my DH ever did something like this to me I would be furious, but he wouldn't. I wouldn't keep such information from him either.

One thing I don't yet get, though may have missed something, is why a classic sports car was deemed safer parked further along on the road rather than at your house. Surely they are clear targets for car thieves? Better to leave it off road if possible, perhaps with trusted family members or friends, or have a lock-up available somewhere for when you are away.

Was it's road tax current or was it perhaps parked obstructing something? Either of those could result in it being towed away.

We're not all priviledged enough to have a lock up or a drive to park the car in. The options were park it on the narrow road outside the house where it's been bumped before, or at the far end of the cul de sac out of the way.

I didn't think about the speed camera aspect of things ... let's hope an NIP doesn't come through timed between the unofficial and official discovery of the theft.

You weren't 'rational' - then why the hell were you driving (repeating a lot of voices here)

Local councils do sometimes have lock-up garages available for cars or storage. I once had to look into this for us, though not for a car. Rents were cheap, but there were waiting lists.

If you can't store a classic sports car safely when it isn't in use then I'm afraid it is a sitting duck for thieves.

I worry enough about our cars, which are not classics of anything and are parked on our very short drive, very visible from the road just feet away. Needed for work though.

I'm not sure how I feel about the car thing but people are seriously married to people who cannot cope with making a telephone call? (Obviously standard disclaimer applies)

I'm assuming it is a toy car that has been stolen giving your ridiculous response to seeing it had gone.

I'm feeling a bit upset at the criticism of me and my OH really. I understand I did wrong. My husband doesn't speak English as his first language and has challenges with his temperament so waking him up to drive or leaving him to deal with the police weren't options.

'challenges with his temperament' = loses his shit?

So if you woke him up to drive he would be angry? And if he had to deal with the police he would be angry?

(that's a big dripfeed on not speaking English as his first language.)

It's sounding more and more to me like you didn't want to tell him about the car being stolen because you couldn't face the fact of him being angry and having to manage that and his interaction with the police when you were tired from driving, because you were afraid of him being angry if you woke him up to drive.

I'm understanding a lot more now. And I'm sympathising with you - I was married to an angry man and I know how hard it is to deal with. In your scenario I probably would have lied too, to avoid a massive amount of stress and anger when I was exhausted.

Sympathies OP.

You mean that if you'd woken him up to say that you were exhausted and so were driving dangerously and could he please take over, that he would lose his temper? Well, yes, I'll criticise him for that all right.

So the truth is, you didn't tell him about the car because you couldn't deal with him not the police. You knew he would go ballistic and you would probably have to deal with him sounding off about it for hours.

So he is allowed to be tired and need his beauty sleep but you aren't?

You can't wake him up to tell him about the car because he would fly into a temper?

I think you need to speak to women's aid. Your husband's temper, and your understandable fear of that temper have caused you to drive dangerously and lie to the police. That is not a good place for you or your DC to be. It also sheds a whole different light on this incident.

Selfish. Disrespectful of your dh.

So he's an arse? If you are so frightened of his anger that you're prepared to break the law and put your children's lives in danger then you shouldn't be with him.

So hang on, if someone stole the car and killed and injured others while driving it, that's the OP's fault for not reporting it stolen immediately? Not, you know, oh, the THIEF DRIVING THE CAR? That's fucked up logic and those using it are piling on stupidly.

Oh FFS. Drip drip drip.

Yes, the OP driving herself while very tired wasn't the best decision. But it's unfair to pile on her for that while ignoring the info that her husband was being useless throughout all this.

I was thinking the same, why didn't you say this in the beginning OP?

He's not violent or anything and I didn't think it was relevant, I'm not trying to dripfeed information. It just seemed better sense to deal with the situation in the morning when everyone was not so tired.