To not tell my OH his car was stolen?

[Yulia989]

We went away on holiday last week and took my car as it’s bigger than OH’s sports car.

We returned late Saturday night and after we’d unloaded the kids and cases I went to park my car at the end of the street. OH had left his car there for the week thinking it was safer at the end of the cul de sac rather than outside the house.

When I got to the end I noticed that his car had gone. I knew he’d left it there and nobody else had access to it so it was either towed (not likely) or stolen.

Now I’d just driven for 3 hours (OH slept) after a 3 hour flight with kids, and really didn’t want to go through the hassle of waiting for the police to visit when we could just do it in the morning after a nights sleep. I know that OH would have done it immediately though but then he wasn’t as tired as me!

So I said nothing and we went to bed. In the morning he went to the car and obviously it wasn’t there, went through the process of calling the police and it still hasn’t turned up. I feel a bit guilty about lying to him, but did it really matter in the end?

Christ. I'd be really, really pissed off if you'd done this to me.

I wouldn't tell him, now, but if he ever finds out, I'd expect him to be really angry. Not only did you not tell him that his CAR had been stolen, but you've lied to him, too.

YABU. The car should have been reported stolen as soon as you noticed, I doubt it was some careful and considerate person who took it. As pissed off as your DP should be with you for not telling him, you should be more concerned with the people who you put in danger.

he's not really the type to handle this on his own.

Surely a grownup who has his own car, in addition to a family one, can deal with something like this on his own?

He was pretty upset about his car, but it is only a car and sometimes I think he's more interested in it than us.

Thought there must be a backstory.

So was this your way of saying 'fuck you' to him because you think he's too interested in his car?

If my car id want to know. Why didnt you say something op. Does matter how tried you were you could have gone to bed letting dh sort it. Also why in the toad next near your house.

yabu - especially if the car has a tracker

you could have gone to bed and left him to it - I'd be livid if I was him

YWBVU.

No you misunderstand. This wasn't a vindictive action, I was honestly literally falling asleep at the wheel driving home. If I had had any energy at all I would have told him, but like I said I would have had to talk to the police and physically didn't have it in me.

Car doesn't have a tracker as it's a classic sports car.

I have to say it all smacks of "it's only a car and I know it means a lot to him but I don't give a shit about it so why bother mentioning it when I was tired anyway?"

Why bother being in a relationship with him if you don't give a shit about things he cares about?

And if you were 'literally falling asleep at the wheel' you should not have been driving at all, never mind not mentioning stolen cars.

He was pretty upset about his car, but it is only a car and sometimes I think he's more interested in it than us

If he really loves his car why wouldn't you tell him?

Id be fuming if my partner knew my car had been stolen but didn't tell me

And FWIW, PIL had a tracker in their classic sports car so it may be worth thinking about getting if he chooses to get another car or gets this one back.

How much was the car worth? It sounds like you are pleased somebody has stole it.

He does not need to know! I personally wouldnt have been able to sleep knowing it was stolen/missing but I cannot see how it would have made much difference.

Its highly unlikely his car went missing just before you got home. It may have gone 10minutes after you set off for holiday!

You just cannot tell him now and have to keep quiet because if he does find out you knew no one can blame him for being more than a bit pissed off with you.

Why did you drive dangerously tired but let him sleep all the way home? You should have woke him up and made him drive after stopping at McDonalds or a service station for coffee.

In the circumstances YWNBU to not tell him, I probably wouldn't have even noticed anyway when moving the cars around, but YABU to deal with things for him so that he doesn't have to.

If it's been stolen to order they just load it onto something and take it.. It's unlikely it's being driven around locally, it probably was loaded onto a ship that night.

I don't blame you OP but never own up no matter how many years pass.

And if you were 'literally falling asleep at the wheel' you should not have been driving at all, never mind not mentioning stolen cars.

Easy to say, but difficult in practice when your OH is already asleep and the baby is due a feed soon. Just wanted to get home.

YABU. I can't imagine not telling my DH that his car had been stolen.

What will the OP say to the police if they ask "When did you first notice the car was gone ?". The truth. Or a lie ?

So you're going to lie to the police when they asked if you saw it when you parked your car? YABU. Hugely.

That's a disgusting thing to do to him. I hope he never deceives you in future - it hurts.

I told them that I didn't notice as I was very tired.

And I agree, why did you not wake him, stop for a coffee and make him drive. You put your whole family at risk driving that tired. I have been that tired with my baby in the car, the safest thing to do is stop.

So you've lied to the police as well? I hope that it doesn't bite you on the arse.