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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Strangers talking to my baby

164 replies

annatha · 04/06/2015 19:41

People love babies. I'll often smile at them or say hi if I see a little kid looking at me, but since having dd I'm amazed at how many people waltz up, stick their heads in the pram and start cooing. luckily dd is a social butterfly and usually laps it up but what if she wasn't? DH hates it and has actually had words with old women who have startled dd by getting right in her face when she's grumpy or tired. He was sat at a table in a cafe yesterday with her while I queued and a woman actually leant over his lap to talk to dd. probably a cougar. Anyone else have this?

OP posts:
Original poster
annatha · 04/06/2015 20:51

Thanks coffeeandbiscuits and royalsighness you've both said exactly what I was trying to get across!

OP posts:
pilates · 04/06/2015 20:58
Biscuit
Royalsighness · 04/06/2015 20:58

Imagine approaching a grown woman who looked stressed, rubbing her hair and saying "aww bless her, she's hungry" to the person she was with, you just don't do it. It's not on.

CoffeeAndBiscuitsPlease · 04/06/2015 21:09

I take my (adorably fat-cheeked) 6 month old to the supermarket on pension day on purpose so all the lovely old ladies and lovely old men can chat to her and tickle her toes.

I find that much stranger than people who just don't want strangers unnecessarily prodding and poking my sleeping baby (who usually only sleeps when out and about in the day)

You seem to have a bit of a problem with women you consider old, OP. As do some other posters

I can understand why you would write this. But older women, that is women over the age of about 70 (or at least look around that age or older), are the only people who have ever poked my baby, touchedher face, told me my baby is hungry/sad/grumpy or generally invaded my space and despite being young I have NEVER been rude to them, despite the fact I find it quite rude to intrude anyone's space like that, young or old.

Others do coo and ask about my DD but they usually have a little look in the pram, or ask general things like "how old"

umiaisha · 04/06/2015 21:11

Don't visit the middle east if you have an issue with strangers being affectionate with your children!

DD3 was smothered in kisses by 2 old ladies when we were in a coffee shop a couple of weeks back. I think it is really sweet - seems to be an old cockney thing!!

CoffeeAndBiscuitsPlease · 04/06/2015 21:11

annatha

Everyone has their own version of what personal space is to them, and what they want their baby to have who can't decide for themselves. There's no need for you have to been called a twat, or given a bloody biscuit.

There's people on here who seem to seek out that kind of attention for their child, I find that very odd, but I don't think they are twats or that they are being unreasonable.

getbusyliving · 04/06/2015 21:16

YABU and your husband sounds worse, 'having words' with an old lady for talking to your baby, really?!

felkov · 04/06/2015 21:18

OP I agree some people just don't know where to draw the line.

I was in the supermarket when DD was about 6 weeks old, trying to get round as quick as possible while she was napping, when a woman started chasing down the aisle after me shouting "stop! I want to see your baby" Hmm

DrankSangriaInThePark · 04/06/2015 21:18

Don't worry OP. When Precious is throwing a tanty on the bus in about a year's time and the same old people (pffft, can't they just do something useful like die for goodness sake?) glare at you, you can stary a new thread about what horrible 'old bats' they are and how your heroic husband 'ad another word. Hmm

CoffeeAndBiscuitsPlease · 04/06/2015 21:18

I wonder how all these people calling you unreasonable would feel about their own private space being invaded. I'm a hugger, pretty much hug everyone I know. Doubt any of you would fancy a hug off me If I was just wandering in the street past you, even if I was a kindly old person who just wanted to tickle your toes. ;)

CoffeeAndBiscuitsPlease · 04/06/2015 21:21

I was in the supermarket when DD was about 6 weeks old, trying to get round as quick as possible while she was napping, when a woman started chasing down the aisle after me shouting "stop! I want to see your baby"

I had this in the street when DD was about 4 weeks old, a woman started going faster and faster and closer to the pram on a very wide street, thought she was trying to run me off the path into the road! Then she just said hello! How old is she now? You look well...I thought she was someone I should have known and felt embarrassed for a while, then I realised it was just a complete stranger having a nosy!

CoffeeAndBiscuitsPlease · 04/06/2015 21:22

Don't worry OP. When Precious is throwing a tanty on the bus in about a year's time and the same old people (pffft, can't they just do something useful like die for goodness sake?) glare at you, you can stary a new thread about what horrible 'old bats' they are and how your heroic husband 'ad another word. hmm

The same old people? The same old people we should all be letting coo over our babies because it's a wonderful thing?

Fickle old buggers! I'm glad I don't let them.

Wink
FrinkadelicA12 · 04/06/2015 21:24

It doesn't disturb me, the way I see it, it gives people happiness to smile at and talk to babies. I have to go to the supermarket. I have to bring the baby, she gets talked to, meh.

Basically I like talking to other people whether they be old/young/infants. We are all just different in our tastes and approaches to the world.

BitOutOfPractice · 04/06/2015 21:25

How horrible for you OP that peopel show a friendly and positive interest in your DD. Pity they don't realise she is the World's First Baby

CoffeeAndBiscuitsPlease · 04/06/2015 21:28

How horrible for you OP that peopel show a friendly and positive interest in your DD. Pity they don't realise she is the World's First Baby

I don't understand these shitty responses. So it annoys her? So what? she never made out her baby was something different or special, in fact she posted on her assuming some people would relate to her, not that she was the only one!

FrinkadelicA12 I don't mind talking, that's good. Telling me my baby is hungry/grumpy/tired....etc is slightly irritating, and touching/poking my baby is out of bounds for me, not until she can react to people in her own way, but not while she is just lying there in the pram accepting anyone's hand who comes by! lol

Klayden · 04/06/2015 21:34

Why bother posting if you think you are being reasonable? Confused

hoarseoldfrog · 04/06/2015 21:35

Awww. I have been having such a difficult week with my baby, both of us in tears most of the time. Today an older lady looked at him and said. 'how lovely. You can tell he's well cared for and well loved'
She totally made my week! I wonder if she has any idea!

BitOutOfPractice · 04/06/2015 21:37

Coffee in my opinion, the OP has been rather "shitty". So there we go

CoffeeAndBiscuitsPlease · 04/06/2015 21:38

hoarseoldfrog I'm a cynical old goat, comments like that just annoy me because they know nothing about me, and can't tell anything from just looking at me and DD.

But I'm glad it made you happy. Better than it pissing you off like it does to me :)

CoffeeAndBiscuitsPlease · 04/06/2015 21:39

BitOutOfPractice

I guess if you think someone is shitty the best thing to do is be as shit as them. :)

OttiliaVonBCup · 04/06/2015 21:42

Oh please, it's the braggiest braggy thread on MN, at least for today.
Calling someone a cougar for talking to a baby?
Completely uncalled for.

Soduthen116 · 04/06/2015 21:42

Honestly don't get this. No one ever poked or touched my 4.

Were they ugly or do I look scarily unapproachable. Probably both. Grin

God I detest other people's kids except the ones I child mind and my own were acceptable. Just!!! Wink

Soduthen116 · 04/06/2015 21:45

Cougar! Assumed that was a funny joke. If serious it's very yeukky.

BitOutOfPractice · 04/06/2015 21:46

Pretty much Coffee - because if the worst thing that had happened to me today was that a kind person had made a point of being nice to my baby, who actively enjoys the attention, I'd think you'd have to be in a pretty shit mood to take offence.

IT's AIBU. I think the OP is BU. As do many others

OttiliaVonBCup · 04/06/2015 21:46

It was a joke attempt, I think.

A weird and not funny one.