Strangers talking to my baby

[annatha]

People love babies. I'll often smile at them or say hi if I see a little kid looking at me, but since having dd I'm amazed at how many people waltz up, stick their heads in the pram and start cooing. luckily dd is a social butterfly and usually laps it up but what if she wasn't? DH hates it and has actually had words with old women who have startled dd by getting right in her face when she's grumpy or tired. He was sat at a table in a cafe yesterday with her while I queued and a woman actually leant over his lap to talk to dd. probably a cougar. Anyone else have this?

All babies most certainly are not, MayPolist... My one used to scream at people who tried to coo over her. When she got older she graduated to scream OR death stare.

NerrSnerr I'm afraid you are wrong, for my baby is the most adorable of them all!

She obviously gets cooed at more so I must be right

You oh had words with elderly women because they spoke to your daughter?

Does not bother me at all when people talk to my ds, he likes the attention and people are only being nice. If my son is not in the mood to be responsive then I tell them he is tired or whatnot. There is no need to be rude to them.

Toasty

I acknowledge it;s a bit annoying.

But not so annoying that I'd want people not to show their love of babies.

Don't really get why I'm a twat for asking this, and certainly isn't a brag at all. I'm saying that of course people like babies, old people especially, but there's a difference between being friendly and scaring the baby because you've shoved your head right in the pram and talking loudly at them. As I said above, she likes it most of the time but lots of babies wouldn't like a stranger getting up in their face.

And I made the cougar comment as a joke. I've never been so desperate to speak to a baby that I've had to lean across a stranger's lap to get to them.

I loved it - when I was having a rough day, I would go out to get the external boost of nice strangers telling me I had a lovely baby.

Yes, if she was sleepy or something, I would sometimes be wishing that people wouldn't try to chat to her but overall I think it's a lovely thing to happen and society would be a sadder place without it.

Ah I have always loved it when people talk to DD. I want her I grow up thinking that people are friendly, not hostile/indifferent. As long as she's awake obviously, although we had a snooze shade and no one lifted that.

Oh no, I agree, I'm only human, smiley babies melt my heart too :)

I was just saying I sympathise with the op.

Oh just let people enjoy your baby. Having words is a preposterously ridiculous reaction.

If it helps I find other people babies annoying at best.

annatha I don't think you deserve biscuits etc. I remember thinking (with my Very Cross Baby) I wish people would just NOT get up in her face, because it never ended well. But you kind of have to take it in your stride, because like you say, people love babies, and DD was extremely cute, even if she was antisocial.

Well, seem like that lady really really liked your baby.

Still, old people eh?

I met an elderly lady in the supermarket the other day - she smiled at and tickled my DS2 on the tummy. Then she said to me "it's so wonderful to have children, I never did and now that I'm in my 80s I do so regret it" - I could have told her to leave my child alone and move away. But I did not. True story.

Hahaha wait til your cute baby is an annoying toddler, creating havoc wherever you go. You'll wish all those kind people were there to do some cooing rather than the tutting and the glaring! Enjoy it while it lasts (evil laughter)

Toasty don't lump talking and touching together, totally different things! People talking to my baby, even at close proximity, fine (especially lonely old ladies) People touching her? Not on at all.

I used to put a sign on the pram saying "Warning, he bites!" Worked a treat, maybe try that.

After a while I got sick of people telling me what lovely lashes my dd has (I'll take full credit for them :)) but strangers aren't to know how many people or cougars have leant in to say hello already. You'll have to suck it up it gets worse once your child talks

DH had words because dd was exhausted and starting to cry, I was in front of her holding her hands and trying to soothe her and the woman was stood in front of the pram, leant over so her upside down face was inches away from dd and said "ooh you're a grumpy one aren't you!" quite loudly. Dd screamed at this, so dh asked if shed mind leaving her be as she was tired out.

By social butterfly, I meant that she liked new people. Not all babies do. But obviously I was referring to her packed social calendar. I'm barely raising her in a hostile world if I want people to talk at an appropriate volume for babies and to see if she's happy with them before getting right in her face.

I forgot how literal you had to be on Mumsnet. Thanks for all the genuine replies.

Ok, tbf they usually go hand in hand in my experience. Perhaps people just aren't very reserved where I live.

They are being nice. I try to remember to coo at people's babies even though I find babies really dull because it is normal social interaction and usually makes people happy.

When my daughter was little she was incredibly shy, and also had very curly hair. People used to say (and I mean maybe at least 2-3 times a week) ooooh can I have one of those curls? And touch her hair. She was literally terrified that someone was going to pull her hair. My little boy and I were on the train yesterday as it was his birthday and i promised him a ride on a diesel train. It was 9.30 in the morning, we were having a lovely time, when a man got on, clutching a carrier bag with cans in, and an open can of lager (at 9.30 in the morning) and started talking to him. We politely passed the time of day, which encouraged him more and he started really chatting to my son, who eventually said 'go away man, I'm with my mummy' - while I don't agree with kids being rude to adults, I also don't agree with adults who don't know the social boundaries and I was secretly quite proud of my boy. I'd be happy to think that my kids would be able to politely say hello to a 'stranger' but then also to hold their own and say when someone they don't know makes them feel uncomfortable in a social situation. Unfortunately, we live in a world where there really are people who take advantage of kids who don't know how, or feel they aren't allowed, to ask for privacy. Any proper grown up should understand that overbearing behaviour makes some people feel uncomfortable.

Try putting her in a wrap sling if she is hard to settle

Sid77 that lady sounds lovely, thats the kind of thing I wished everybody did when they spoke to dd. Perhaps I wasn't clear enough- in general I think that it's lovely that people like babies and little children and want to talk to them, and I talk to them myself. My problem is when people scare babies by pretty much shouting in their faces.

And just for the record, I never said a cross word to anyone who upset DD.
Perhaps by the time dc2 comes along i'll have grown a pair.

And I made the cougar comment as a joke. I've never been so desperate to speak to a baby that I've had to lean across a stranger's lap to get to them.

That really doesn't like a joke, given your second sentence. To be honest, I can kind of understand getting annoyed at very loud people, especially when the baby is tired. However, it's one of those things that you have to just accept. Unless you want to end up known as The Woman Who Shouts at People for Talking to her Baby. In the grand scheme of things it isn't really a big deal.

Yep, all strangers want to upset your baby and all women who speak to your husband are Cougars who want to steal him away. Best retreat to your underground bunker.