To be utterly bored to tears by 9AM every bloody day!

[EffThis]

NC - MIL is a lurker and knows my regular username.

I am a SAHM with 1 DS (15 months). DH works full time, long hours. Whilst DS is an utter delight he is also a pain in the backside handful. He isn't walking yet and has very few words so the poor mite is a ball of frustration. He cries and whines. A LOT.

Whilst I love him dearly I do not enjoy day to day life looking after him, the constant need, tantrums, teething, sleepless nights (STILL) and to top it off he's the world's pickiest eater (think 3 foods on rotation).

I am just utterly, utterly bored with the drudgery of it all and often find myself grinding my teeth with despair/resentment by 9AM every day. The days drag into weeks and months, long days with nothing to fill them except a walk to the shops and back (I don't drive).

Sometimes a day feels like a lifetime and I can't even take a shit without the toddler clinging onto my legs and wailing because he can't eat the toilet paper/bog brush.

I have no friends locally, the baby groups are sparse and unfriendly, family are too busy to help out and I don't see DH until much later in the evening when DS has already gone to bed. I am so lonely I could weep.

When does it get better? Am I being unreasonable to expect life to be any different with a small child?

I had a career and a life once, now I no longer even feel like I even exist.

I'm in wroughton, so still a way from you. Definately look at the mumsnet local group, I found loads of like minded people on the Swindon one, all of which I am still friends with. You might find once he starts pre school things will improve. It gets easier xxx

Although I think you have had some great advice on how to cope with the short-term boredom and making friends, I think there's a deeper issue here which is about your long-term goals for yourself, not just you the mum or you the wife or you supporting your family, but about what is best for you.

It probably isn't best for someone who has previously had depression/ADS to be stuck at home with a small toddler, it's extremely isolating. Going back to work, in part time or full time capacity would probably be much better for you in terms of relieving the boredom but also in giving you a sense of purpose (some people get this staying at home, others don't) and identity and all that stuff.

I find it quite surprising you all agreed to this move, which is more isolating and you starting again in a new place, without talking about how to make it better for you- you driving, you working, you achieving your goals.

The trouble is if you stay where you are and just try to make a few friends, this doesn't answer the longer time issue of what you want to be doing with your life. Your husband's job will start to take priority, his hours take priority, his location takes priority and you are just left with supporting him as your main purpose. If you only have one child then they will be off to school in three years. What then?

I honestly think if one person has been depressed, then supporting them and structuring your life to include their need to socialize/get out of the house/good and stable mental health should be the priority for the family, that includes living in a place that facilitates that.

I think you need to talk frankly with your husband about what is happening and how you as a whole family can start to meet your needs as a person who needs to feel like you exist. What are his plans to help you back into work (now or in a few years time)? How is he helping you socially (by helping you learn to drive etc)? This move may not be working for him either and perhaps there are options there for you.

Absolutely normal. I felt terrifically claustrophobic in the early years.

All it's going to take is for you to make a few friends in the same boat to make things better. Keep on with the grim toddler activities.

Consider re-booting your career.

Good luck OP, we've all been there.

I went to every group going,me ben if they were unfriendly or boring at first. Baby swimming, rhyme time, breastfeeding group, play group. Sing a long. It was difficult at first but it broke up my day and gave me an aim.

Go back to the groups.......smile and people,will speak to you eventually and if they don't well at least you have a change os scene and probably a cup of tea.

I was so bored I made up a back story for the characters in In the Night Garden.
Macca Pacca has ocd , all the cleaning and rock sorting.
Iggle Piggle obviously high.
Upsy Daisy some kind of floozy. Every time the music plays she lifts her skirt and shows her knickers!
The Tombliboos, three way, leaving pants outside.
It does get better when they are older.

I went to every group out there in order to break up the boredom.
In my first part time job the aim was to break even - childcare etc. ate up everything I earned, but I got to go out on my own and socialise with adults. It was bliss! As long as you don't end up paying for the pleasure of working...

Zombie thread guys!!

However I only realised this most of the way through and am now emotionally invested, esp since I live in the same town as the op did how's it going op? I feel your pain, the tiny years suck. Much better now that they can walk/talk/concentrate for more than 10 seconds/go to the loo themselves/feed themselves/respond to logic, bribery and threats...... I could go on!!!

I'd get a part-time job regardless of field, just to give you a chance to have something else in your life. If you don't change anything, then nothing will change. Profound eh

I also commented as love near and wondered how op was doing... Some days I feel the same!