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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask what silly lies you tell to keep up appearances?

303 replies

Penfolds5 · 02/06/2015 13:52

I pretend to like films with subtitles, but in reality I find them hard to read and would go for bad dubbing/a Cameron Diaz romcom any day.

I've also been known to switch my radio from Smooth FM to Radio 4 or 6 when someone's coming over.

OP posts:
NorahBone · 02/06/2015 19:51

When the health visitor was due to come round during my pregnancy I switched the recycling boxes so the one with all the energy drink cans (not mine btw) and Pepsi bottles was underneath the one with the branflakes boxes.

amazingtracy · 02/06/2015 19:53

I pretend to like our cat-I'm allergic and she's a bit of a pain in the ass.

I have often pretended to buy sweets for a childrens party......and eat the lot! Blush

I make jokes at work that I don't really need to work and that I'm a millionaire............ I'm actually not joking........work gets me out of the house and gives me structure.

HelenaVagBasket · 02/06/2015 19:53

If the postman or someone knocks the door early in the morning I start doing a fake cough just before I open the door and rub my eyes so that they think I am ill. I do this because I look so rough without make up on.

Sallystyle · 02/06/2015 19:58

I suspect those who say they have no need to lie are the people who the rest of us are lying to, because we don't want to be judged for reading the daily mail, or heat magazine!

Not quite. I am pretty bloody laid back and if you aren't hurting anyone I don't care what you read or do.

I just don't lie about little things to keep up appearances but that doesn't mean I am judgmental bitch who thinks I am better than anyone else. In fact, people probably judge my life all the time but I just don't care anymore. I am used to it. I have been judged for being a teen mum, for not working for years, for having a mentally ill husband and all kinds of things. I just learnt not to care anymore for my own sanity.

I don't care if my postman knows I have done fuck all all day because his opinion of me doesn't matter and if my hairdresser knows I can't afford a holiday and haven't been for years and thinks badly of me? her tough luck.

I don't think badly of those that do tell white lies to keep up appearances, but I don't think it is fair to accuse those who don't of either lying to ourselves or being the type of people who would judge you for your reading material.

Laurie that is lovely. I won't tell people who assume my three children are my husband's children, but that isn't to keep up appearances, it just sounds mean to correct them and it would be hurtful for them and my husband if I felt the need to correct that when they are his in every way that matters.

MoreBeta · 02/06/2015 20:04

Sometimes we lie a bit to be nice to other people.

The fact that I believe 99.9% novels are not worth my time reading is rather too rude to say to people who rave about certain Booker prize authors

Stealthsquiggle · 02/06/2015 20:12

I pretend (without actually lying, just by general impression) that I have a social life and am not really excruciatingly lonely.

catmaze · 02/06/2015 20:16

helenahandbag How on earth did you meet your DP? Grin

helenahandbag · 02/06/2015 20:19

catmaze

Online Grin

Jakadaal · 02/06/2015 20:21

We say that FIL has 'moved away' - he is actually in prison Hmm

Sidalee7 · 02/06/2015 20:28

I pretend I use tampons, rather than admit I am in my 30's and I never got the hang of using them, I still use always ultras like a teenager....

Sallystyle · 02/06/2015 20:29

Lying to be nice to people is something I do. But that is not keeping up appearances, I just don't think every negative thought needs to be mentioned Grin

DuchessDisaster · 02/06/2015 20:32

I drive my own high-end car, holiday in exotic destinations, have real jewellery, own my own house & can afford the nasty little 5* hotel habit I have developed over the past 11 years.
Why do I need to tell lies?
But if you believe that....

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 02/06/2015 20:33

Mummyrunnerbean I do that too- pretend not to remember things! I remember everything too and it freaks people out so I pretend I don't.

scalliondays · 02/06/2015 20:46

I watch 'the real housewives of Beverly Hills' on play again when my partner is out...

monkeymamma · 02/06/2015 21:12

In an act of apparently random classification, we keep dh's books (politics, economics etc) and our classics (Dickens, Bronte, ie all the stuff I haven't read since uni fifteen years ago) in our lounge. The trashy chick lit and historical fiction is hidden upstairs where I can read it in bed whilst eating chocolates.

We also have some friends who are very particular about food and eating well - food must be good quality and healthy. When they comment on how awful some peoples diets are I always agree and act disgusted but in reality we eat ready meals and takeaways and macdonalds very very often. Oh and ds eats baked beans, ready made mini pizzas and fish fingers far more often than I'd ever admit to my mum friends!

AyMamita · 02/06/2015 21:28

LOVE this thread. I do tons of these. Especially the supermarket bargain hunting - at naice shops like M&S and Waitrose. Then I frantically peel off the labels as soon as I've paid. Most of my lies are to hide how much poorer I am than almost all my friends - they wouldn't be snotty or dump me but I am embarrassed by my situation and would be mortified if they felt sorry for me.

MistakesWereMade · 02/06/2015 21:39

Everybody comments on how happy I always seem to be. I deserve an oscar because I go to bed every night hoping that I won't wake up in the morning.

TTWK · 02/06/2015 21:40

I lie to keep down appearances. I like people to think I'm doing worse in life than I really am. That way they never tap me up for a loan Grin . In life in general, I think if people underestimate you, it gives you an advantage over them before you start.

I've never understood the need to impress, and I go out of my way to do the opposite.

CornChips · 02/06/2015 21:40

I was wondering what I did thinking it was nothing..... then remembered I lied about my religion to DH's family so they would not object to us marrying. I even go to church.

I also pretend to the postman I work nights... I work from home too and it is pretty full on. I am usually up about 5-ish and on days DH does the school run I don't get out of my PJs fora long while.

CornChips · 02/06/2015 21:44

DH knows I'm not really his religion though and could not care less. We kind of kept it quiet really to appease his elderly parents sensibilities. I feel anxious about it quite often though.

fastdaytears · 02/06/2015 21:45

Laurie you're lovely!

I told someone the other day that my Hoover was broken. My Hoover is basically brand new and untouched.

Internationer · 02/06/2015 22:02

I do "what Disney princess are you" type quizzes on FB and then post so only I can see, to see the results.

MrsMook · 02/06/2015 22:19

Another panic tidier here. Guests must think we're much tidier than we are. At least the house gets a thorough clean down every so often.

I tend to simplify my family until complex explanation is required. That's to save other peoples' sanity.

I can't think of any out and out lies.

findingmyfeet12 · 02/06/2015 22:26

I try to be truthful at all times.

In fact I only ever lie about my criminal record and cannibalism.

DragonsCanHop · 02/06/2015 22:40

internationer that is a wonderful idea I hadn't thought of!