To leave DD in library whilst I go to work

[LoveandPeaceGonk]

DD is 10.5

I've been a SAHM since she was born. I've managed to find a part-time job 30 minutes drive from where we live (rural location so no jobs locally).

They want me to start in July which is when DD breaks up for 7 weeks.

We're going away for one week and I've booked her in a sports club for another but am struggling with other weeks

There is a really nice library close to where I'll be working. Would I BU to leave her there for one morning/afternoon a week i.e. 3 hours? She's a bookworm so could amuse herself on that plus the computer.

And there's a cafe next door she could pop into. Plus she'd have her phone with her.

What do you think?

Yarp, I recognise that often growing independence is partly related to the needs of parents too. I can see that the OP might choose to leave her DC at home for an hour (meeting her needs to work) whilst arranging childcare for the other part of the time period too. In itself, fitting growing independence in with practical adult needs isn't wrong,of course it is sensible. For me, the timescale is too long though and that IS being dictated by the working of the adult, and I do think that is a mistake.

In the end the OP will choose. If she goes with the library, it is likely that a good time will be had by the girl and it will work well.
However, I won't be trying that approach on my 10 year old whilst I work, but instead would look for alternative childcare. For me 3 hours is too long at age 10 and especially 3 hours without someone who really is fully available if needed. So I would take my 10 year old to the library, having talked through potential issues and anxieties. I would shop next door and the child might call me or might not. If they did, I could go once, twice,three or four times if I was needed. We would reach 3 hours no doubt, but I think 10 is too young for it.

Best of luck to the OP with her job and summer plans.

Norbert - thank you so much for soliciting your male partner's view on my plans. I always feel that the opinions of MNetters' husbands add a degree of authority to a discussion

erm .... I don't see what your problem is with my post.

My main point was that I had meant to ask my 10yo how he would feel about the situation - an interesting and valid opinion in this discussion I would have thought?

As an after thought I mentioned that I'd asked my DP. At no point did I imply that his opinion was any more or less valid than anyone elses.

After all in your OP you did ask What do you think?, throwing it open for peoples opinions and feelings. As MN is largely female is it not interesting to get a wider response?

Fuck me this is ridiculous.

I'm wondering how many of you are going to seriously struggle with your child having independence when they hit senior school because that's when they are expected to do pretty much everything by themselves.

And coming from the side of someone who spent many years dealing with child protection referrals no I would not have shown much interest in a happy,comfortable,appropriately dressed, 10yo book work who appeared to be well nourished and not traumatised using the library for a morning or afternoon with out direct adult supervision.

It's also very likely that any policy relating to who could use the premises unsupervised by parents was written using information provided by the head of safeguarding.

If there was enough in the referral to indicate concern I would have been interested in how the decision was arrived at what planning and thought had gone into it,and what preparation and input into the choice the child had had.

Social workers do not police parents and should not be dictating subjective normal parenting decisions.

I haven't RTFullT so sorry if I'm repeating but YANBU.

A few hours a week in a library close by, where she is able to contact you at any time sounds fine.

As long as there is no policy against it and your DD is happy I can't see a problem.

Maybe take her there a few times before hand to get her used to the place and show her around.

Chocolate - have you not read all the posts where people in libraries have said that they would not only not have a problem with this, but would encourage it? And the SS/CP people who have said that they would not see this as an issue either? And that not all employers would be concerned either? You seem so intent on saying the same thing over and over again, at length, that you have missed some valuable contributions to the thread that might be just as, if not more, pertinent that your contributions.

Chocolate - what makes you think you know my daughter better than I do? what makes you think you understand my motivation better than I do?

Your children might not have the confidence to be left in a library and take themselves to a cafe but my child does. She's looking forward to it.

I would only contemplate leaving work in an emergency, not because DD had had enough Harry Potter for the day and wanted to leave the library early. I don't pander to her every whim. She's in school for 6.5 hours a day and frequently gets bored but doesn't demand the school office call me to spring her from a tedious class.

The time I am not working will be spent with friends at the park, cycling, swimming, training with her sports team, having hours in front of the screen and doing lots of reading. She'll have a wonderful summer and enjoy a fewhours alone in the library once a week - she's her mother's daughter in that respect!

well, my dc would be more unhappy at nursery than in library. The few times she has to go to nursery it's because I'm 1 hour away. So if she feels miserable (as she will at nursery), what can she do? Not phone me, no point talking to nursery staff that she doesn't like them.

So when I am easily accessible, she rather stays at home, even if it is for 3 hours.

Nope. Sorry, OP. It doesn't matter how independent, mature or book-loving your daughter is, there are some situations that, at 10.5, she may not be equipped to deal with. Leaving your kid in a public library while you go to work and expecting librarians or kind strangers to help her in a 'what-if' situation (unlikely though it may be) is not on. We all have to make choices about family-work-life balance...imagine if everyone who wanted to go back to work part-time but couldn't afford/be bothered to find proper child care did this? Take a second to imagine the headline if something DID happen to your daughter WHILE YOU WERE AT WORK. You're taking the piss, I'm afraid.

Oh, FGS.

Bahaha. Yes, think of the headlines! All those library disasters that happen so often. Front page...

10 YEAR OLD GETS PAPER CUT WHILE MOTHER WORKS

:o

Sounds like you have a fine balance Gonk. It's a few hours a week, your aren't plopping her there all day every day.

Grow up .

OP, if you can't afford childcare, don't take the job. It's quite simple really, and quite basic common sense. You can't leave your ten-year old child in a public place while you go to work. You are taking advantage.

Those are very big statements Oscar, could you explain them?

Why can't a capable 10 year old sit in a library alone once a week for 3 hours happily reading or joining in the summer events planned?

A 10 year old hardly requires "child care".

My 10 year old knows how to navigate buses, prepares his own breakfast, packs his own bags, buys his own ice cream at a train station while I go to the cashpoint, even showers by himself and dresses up himself.

yawn, oscarwinningactress

10 YEAR OLD BUYS FRUIT SHOOT AFTER BEING DUMPED BY MUM

:o

LITERATURE THE NEW LATCH KEY - THE FALL OF UK YOUTHS

I might get DD to vlog about her plight live from the library. She could become an Internet sensation and go viral!

Just make sure you practice her "sad face" for pictures.

Sad face while holding up a copy of Matilda would be a wonderful start.

I agree with actress.

Your a piss taker.

Organise proper for childcare for your child while your at work.

Why would you risk it?

Risk what? Explain your concern.

I have yet to read a rational explanation of the risk involved here.

To be fair, Mistress, there is a chance DD might up her reading level if she's dumped in a library - is that a risk worth taking?

Oscar and Noneed, have you seen those comments upthread from various librarians who say they have no issue with 10 year olds being in libraries for three hours at a time, and indeed that they would positively encourage it?

Government Targets Force Child Abandonment. Librarians Appalled

In a statement today, Edith Fusty said "it's unacceptable we should be expected to do our jobs. If I wanted to run a crèche I'd have trained for that. We need to get back to the days of Sshhhing and only adults being allowed library tickets. This is seriously going to affect the time available for drinking tea and chasing vagrants off the property with a broom"