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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave DD in library whilst I go to work

526 replies

LoveandPeaceGonk · 02/06/2015 11:04

DD is 10.5

I've been a SAHM since she was born. I've managed to find a part-time job 30 minutes drive from where we live (rural location so no jobs locally).

They want me to start in July which is when DD breaks up for 7 weeks.

We're going away for one week and I've booked her in a sports club for another but am struggling with other weeks

There is a really nice library close to where I'll be working. Would I BU to leave her there for one morning/afternoon a week i.e. 3 hours? She's a bookworm so could amuse herself on that plus the computer.

And there's a cafe next door she could pop into. Plus she'd have her phone with her.

What do you think?

OP posts:
SillyStuffBiting · 02/06/2015 11:34

And one sensible ten year old son becomes part of a screeching excitable gabble when more and more sensible ten year olds appear over the course of the morning.

SillyStuffBiting · 02/06/2015 11:35

By accepting responsibility for lone dc like that in your branch libriana you are crossing and blurring all sorts of boundaries.

GoringBit · 02/06/2015 11:35

I think it sounds okay. You know your DD will keep herself occupied, and you'll be nearby if she needs you. I'd set some ground rules, though; no going off with friends (or at least not until she's checked with you that it's okay), not pestering the staff (though it doesn't sound like she would), any Internet rules you want to apply, etc.

Good luck with your new job!

fourcorneredcircle · 02/06/2015 11:38

Well, I think librarina and sillyBit have presented both side of the argument from the actual adults involved... It would seem the fairest thing to do would be to approach the library and ask them.

SumThucker · 02/06/2015 11:38

Would have been my idea of heaven at 10.

fourcorneredcircle · 02/06/2015 11:40

sillystuffbiting sorry.

SillyStuffBiting · 02/06/2015 11:42

When there a bookbug sessions, a book group meeting and an elderly patron needing help with their email, a queue at the desk and a delivery needing dealt with along with the reshelving and fulfilling requests from other branches, that half an eye isn't possible and should never be expected.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 02/06/2015 11:42

Mine too, Sum!

WaferInMyCoffee · 02/06/2015 11:42

Sounds fine to me, I would let my 10.5yr old do that - or I'd let him stay home - he is sensible and I know he'd be fine. I don't think it is expecting free childcare from the library? Just a child using their resources! Be different if she were 5 but at 10 I see no issue with it personally :)

RiverTam · 02/06/2015 11:42

sounds fine to me, as long as she has a phone and knows where you are. She sounds sensible so make sure she knows the rules (no leaving the library, no disturbing others if your chums turn up, phone on silent etc - usual stuff), then it sounds fine. She's doing no more than the 1000s of adults who while away a few hours in the library every day!

I actually think she shouldn't speak to the librarian - would that then assume she's expecting them to keep an eye on her?

jazzandh · 02/06/2015 11:43

Growing up I spent hours in my local library through choice.

I chatted with the senior librarian, got to know him really well. It was a great way to spend some time.

perhaps challenge her to do a project of some sort whilst she is there - so really gets to grips with the workings of the library etc.......

ChipsAndRedSauce · 02/06/2015 11:44

I asked our local library for their policy on unattended children. They said age right and over is not only allowed but encouraged.

ChipsAndRedSauce · 02/06/2015 11:44

Eight and over!

Icimoi · 02/06/2015 11:44

By accepting responsibility for lone dc like that in your branch libriana you are crossing and blurring all sorts of boundaries.

But they aren't, are they? What they are doing at most is their normal job of supervising the library.

I would have thought that it is in libraries' interests to encourage children of this age to read and to see libraries as comfortable, accepting places to go to.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 02/06/2015 11:44

The thing is though if that's what you've got to do who are we to tell you you're being unreasonable, but here's the thing the government needs to take it's heAd out of 3-4 year olds land and provide adequate child care at all times for all children. They're quick enough to piss and cry at none working parents but what do you do when childcare is not Readily available. I know you say you're alright most of the time and it's just for a few weeks but it's still not good enough, op.
No one should be posting on here about having to leave their child in. Library as a means of childcare. And certainly in my opinion a 10 year old should not be left unsupervised at home all day.
Although she does seem sensible enough, but still accidents can happen to the most sensible people ever to grace the planet.
So I would say your best bet is the library. At least she's with people there. I know they won't be actually look after her , but it just give you price of mind that she&is not on her own.

Original poster
LoveandPeaceGonk · 02/06/2015 11:44

Appreciate all your replies. We don't have any family nearby - grandparents are 4 hours away. As I'm new to the job (which I desperately need) my days are going to be ad hoc so would be difficult to book her into summer clubs (which she doesn't fancy anyway).

If she was taken ill or had an accident then I'd expect the library staff to help her the way they would assist any other member of the community who needed help

OP posts:
DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 02/06/2015 11:45

I think that's a long time to be left in a library/cafe. I would leave her at home though at that age.

Noneedtoworryatall · 02/06/2015 11:48

You can't just dump your kid at the library!
Madness.

bikeandrun · 02/06/2015 11:49

So silly stuff biting, my DD is 11, is really looking forward to spending some of the summer holiday in the library, by herself ie no mum making helpful suggestions or annoying younger brother, if she stayed for 3 hrs would that be an issue, how old would she have to be for it not too be an issue? I am not using it for childcare, just encouraging to be independent and do something she would enjoy

FretYeNotAllIsShiny · 02/06/2015 11:51

At that age I practically lived in the library, my mum used to ring them to send me home for tea!

BookSnark · 02/06/2015 11:52

My 10.8yo will be walking to and from school from September. She walks past the library. If she goes in there by herself, is it still 'dumping' here there..?

It's only a problem if OP, for example, moaned at librarian that her DD was reading unsuitable books.

BathshebaDarkstone · 02/06/2015 11:57

It also depends on her personality. My DD would read a whole book in a library if a responsible adult was there, but she'd be in a panic if she was on her own. She's 7.9, but would really just sit and read. She'd probably forget to eat and drink as well! Grin

SillyStuffBiting · 02/06/2015 11:57

There's a world of difference between a child popping in to use the library and being left for 3 hours.

PuppyMonkey · 02/06/2015 11:57

Never realised libraries were such dangerous places - all these potential accidents to worry about, goodness me.

Pesky kids, hanging around libraries for three hours - three I tell you - reading books when they should be off wandering the streets and nicking fags.
Wink

RiverTam · 02/06/2015 11:57

You can't just dump your kid at the library!

Why not? For a bookish child it would be heaven. The library was at the bottom of our road, I can't even begin to tot up the amount of time I spent in there. 3 hours uninterrupted reading? Bliss. Cafe downstairs? Lovely. Mum at work round the corner? No problem.

I can see why the OP doesn't want to leave her DD at home as it sounds like it's quite a distance away, and I should think that an unattended child at home could run into far more problems than one in a library close to work. There's no kitchen, no possibility for flooding, no way to lock yourself out, no randoms knocking on your door. It sounds like a supremely sensible solution - and it's for one week, is it not?

So, no, can't see how that's madness at all!