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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to make 'stuff'

228 replies

Tinklewinkle · 31/05/2015 15:09

I had a bit of a...I wouldn't call it an argument really...with a friend last night. I know I shouldn't let it upset me, or pay it any attention, but I've been stewing on it a bit and I am quite upset about it.

I've been hunting for a rug for DD's bedroom, but we couldn't really find anything that DD liked, was the size we wanted and wasn't silly £££.

I like craft (sewing, knitting, crochet, etc) and find sitting still in front of the TV quite hard so need something to fiddle with and usually knit or crochet. I've just made some granny square blankets and am over knitting at the moment, so I thought I'd have a go at making a rag rug. It's the ultimate in mindless craft, I can do a bit each evening with one eye on Eastenders and not have to concentrate on it too much.

Anyway, friends were over last night, their kids play with ours, we get a takeaway and usually have a nice evening. Friend came in and clocked the half done rug folded up over the arm of the sofa.

She asked what I was making now, with a bit of eye rolling, said I was having a go at making a rag rug, she was a bit "oh, FFS Hmm" I just laughed it off, and said "oh, you know what I'm like" and left it at that

A bit later she bought the subject of the rug up again and had a huge go at me about it. "Why can't I just buy a rug like normal people?", that I'm making my kids a laughing stock with all the handmade stuff "what's wrong with Disney Princess/Frozen/whatever stuff", why do I always have to be different and that it's intensely irritating that I'm so arty farty about everything

I said that I enjoyed making stuff and the kids had never complained about anything I'd made them (I don't make clothes, I'm rubbish at dress making, but I like messing about with stuff like bunting and cushions and house-y guff)

Initially, I was a bit "fuck off and mind your own business" but like I say, I've been stewing a bit and am a bit upset by it. It feels like a huge criticism of me if that makes sense. And, the kids/laughing stock comment has cut a bit.

OP posts:
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CrazyCatLady13 · 31/05/2015 17:26

YANBU for making things. I do it all the time!

YABU for rag rugging the difficult way. Get some of the gridded rug backing (£5 for 2 square metres from ebay), tear up cloth to about 1 inch strips with a length of at least 5 inches, can be longer if you want a shaggier rug. Tie strips around the rug backing, no knot needed, just the first bit of tying a shoelace iyswim then move onto the next strip. The only tool you need is scissors!

I've attached a picture of one I made for our bedroom.

to make 'stuff'
viva100 · 31/05/2015 17:27

YANBU!!! She sounds horrid and you were very restrained! I really can't believe anyone can be so crass and have a go at you?!
I've been meaning to learn how to knit, any good starters book/ videos? (I also have this thing where I can't sit still in front of the TV but I still wanna watch TV)

CrazyCatLady13 · 31/05/2015 17:28

Also, if you want to make it a bit special, you can cut up lengths of lace and knot that on too. On the rug above, I used a pink lace with butterflies printed on, and it just adds a little extra touch.

I now have orders to make one for each of my sisters, my mum and niece for Christmas!

KingTut · 31/05/2015 17:29

She is embarrassed is my guess.

Royalsighness · 31/05/2015 17:31

What a bitch your mate is

drudgetrudy · 31/05/2015 17:33

Your initial "Fuck off and mind your own business" thought was the correct response!

formerbabe · 31/05/2015 17:35

Gosh I can't think of anything I'd like less than doing crafts as I'm extremely uncreative and couldn't be bothered!

Good for you though! My DM would make me things...I still have them now...means so much.

Original poster
Tinklewinkle · 31/05/2015 17:44

Craztcatlady I couldn't find the size I wanted in that stuff. It was all a bit smaller than I really wanted. I'll definitely use it if I make another.

Viva there's loads of tutorials on YouTube

I don't think my kids have spoken to her. I haven't made vast amounts of stuff for them anyway.

DD1 has my rescued ottoman window seat in her room, with a load of cushions on it I made (she wanted a specific print) and uses it a lot to sit and play on her phone read. And a granny square blanket I made a couple of years ago - she always insists on taking it to scout camp and stuff like that so I don't think she's embarrassed by it.

DD2 wanted her room in a particular theme, but in colours not traditionally associated with that theme, so I've made quite a few twiddly bits for it, but only because we couldn't get it in the colours she wanted.

No clothes or anything like that, apart from a spiral knitted bobble hat for DD2 which she asked for

Thanks all! Flowers

OP posts:
Original poster
Tinklewinkle · 31/05/2015 17:53

Oh, and my kids are 14 and 9, so too old for the Frozen/Disney stuff now anyway and have never really been fans.

They could have had it if they wanted it but they were never really keen

OP posts:
rhoneducote · 31/05/2015 17:54

god she does sound "horrid" as a pp said. Best adjective.
bloody great that it has inspired some positive craft exchanging ideas here though!
You are completely not unreasonable to feel annoyed by her reaction.
I wouldn't stand for such horridness and mean craft-spiritedness in a friend

GoodbyeToAllOfThat · 31/05/2015 17:56

You were very patient with this woman. She's suggesting you buy a Frozen rug rather than a handmade one? Dear me.

Buttercup27 · 31/05/2015 18:00

She might not be jealous but I am. I would love to be crafty and be able to knit and make stuff but I'm so cack handed and impatient!
If she says anything again politely or not so ask her to leave. With friends like that who needs enemies!

rhoneducote · 31/05/2015 18:00

and a classic case of "project"-ion :-) silly friend

sparkysparkysparky · 31/05/2015 18:00

You're brilliant. You know that. Bespoke stuff is great and teaches your dc to be creative. It's clearly not your friend's taste. She should shut up.

rhoneducote · 31/05/2015 18:03

too right sparky I am eternally thankful to my mum for her role modelling of crafts and all sorts of other activities and for not giving a toss what others might think about her incredible range of activities

ItsRainingInBaltimore · 31/05/2015 18:06

You carry on. I think you friend is being an arse.

So long as you are not constantly pushing a ton of really crappy 'crafting' down everyone else's throats and trying to sell poor quality stuff then you enjoy your farting around with cushions and rag rugs and bunting, and to hell with her. She's obviously one of those people who is a total sheep with not a creative thought in her head or bone in her body.

NorahDentressangle · 31/05/2015 18:07

She's jealous imo.

I mean hasn't she heard of the Great British Sewing Bee.

Surely ragrugs are the latest in thing?

And Etsy she must have heard of that.

RiverTam · 31/05/2015 18:15

I don't think she's jealous, I think she's very self-centred and instead of being interested, or even just saying 'that's nice', is making this about her and takes it as a criticism of her parenting and choices for her children. I'm guessing she's the kind of woman whose children are logo'd and branded up to the nines, and she takes it personally that yours aren't - somewhere in the dim recesses of her mind she knows that you're doing something nice but as she can't/wouldn't herself, it's got to be wrong, because otherwise she's wrong to do what she does.

Instead of just knowing that everyone's different and who gives a shit anyway!!

Flisspaps · 31/05/2015 18:20

She sounds like a bit of a twat.

BeaufortBelle · 31/05/2015 18:24

Do you know, I like nice, modern, clean lines. I love the picture of the rag rug above and think it looks contemporary and designery.

I wouldn't in a million years make a rag rug, but I'd like to be able to.

Neither in a million years would I ever be as rude as your friend. There was a thread yesterday about an 18 year old who took a whip to someone else's horse and was evicted from a livery yard.

......where's that 18 year old gone, because I'd quite like to see her let loose on your "friend". Frenemy springs to mind.

I think you should pray for her. She's clearly a bitter, disturbed sort of soul who knows no better.

TelephoneIgnoringMachine · 31/05/2015 18:26

OP, you have inspired me to have a go at rag rug making. I can knit but not crochet or sew clothes. I'm a bit over knitting at present, too. didn't stop me spending too much on lush wool yesterday though in an amazing sale

That silly woman is just jealous. And a bitch to boot. People who make snarky comments about my knitting usually get some response along the lines of "I prefer real wool/merino/cashmere etc to acrylic". And watch their face fall.

TelephoneIgnoringMachine · 31/05/2015 18:27

Meant to say - even if it's not cashmere etc!

kungfupannda · 31/05/2015 18:32

I make 'stuff' too Grin

Just be careful with the latch hook. I once managed to grab hold of my fingertip with it. There was much blood...

FiveExclamations · 31/05/2015 18:56

If not jealous how about insecure? You said up thread that perhaps she thought you were criticising her choices?

I know someone who can be very like this and, having known her a while now, I'm pretty sure there's a lot of insecurity there. She's very dogmatic about what people should and shouldn't do right down to the most trivial things and gets either upset or agressive when people disagree with her.

FiveExclamations · 31/05/2015 18:57

... aggressive ... damn that sticky g.