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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

"A boy? You won't know what's hit you"

160 replies

SoggyBottoms · 31/05/2015 09:53

I have a DD aged 22mo and am pregnant with DC2 who I have just found out is a boy. I am sure I am being hormonal and oversensitive but I'm finding the things people say really annoying...so far I've had...

"A boy? You won't know what's hit you"
"OMG you have no idea how exhausting boys are"
"Boys are so different to girls - they never sit still...prepare yourself..."

And loads more besides. I know this is all very well intentioned but as someone with a DD who could best be described as a total livewire - is always climbing something, jumping off things, sticking things into plug sockets, running around like a mad thing, bashing things, swallowing pebbles etc - I'm finding it really annoying!

Who are these people who think little girls sit there angelically playing with dollies? Do they seriously think I've just been sitting back relaxing for the past 2 years sipping from a wine glass while she looks after herself? (I wish)

And does anyone have a good comeback that won't make me sound like a total nark?

OP posts:

slightlyconfused85 · 31/05/2015 21:36

Yanbu. People just have to say something! I've got a dd and pregnant with dc2 but didn't find out sex. Comments so far include: I hope it's another girl, boys born in the summer are immature at school, 'are you hoping for a boy so you don't have to have a third' and 'are you hoping for a boy so you get the perfect family'. All annoying, all based on stereotypes. Don't listen and enjoy
Your baby boy

BingBong36 · 31/05/2015 21:43

Generally I think people are very negative towards boys.

I have two. One is all over the place and the other sits very nicely playing!!

Just ignore them or say that you can't wait!!

morelikeguidelines · 31/05/2015 21:48

It's almost certainly wrong and definitely sexist but I really feel boys are easier.

Both of mine (dd and ds) have been live wires, very adventurous and into everything.

Ds just seems calmer and more llaid back in himself, more sure of himself perhaps, and this makes him easier. He is also a better sleeper especially when il.

morelikeguidelines · 31/05/2015 21:50

But yes I think all toddlers are like dogs in this sense.

MamaLazarou · 31/05/2015 21:53

My son is not like a dog. He is polite, bookish, thoughtful and loves dressing up and having his nails painted.

Just smile politely and nod and allow it to wash over your head: your little boy will be fabulous!

TheoreticalOrder · 31/05/2015 22:37

My son is thoughtful and polite. And like a dog

Fromparistoberlin73 · 31/05/2015 22:38

My boys are like dogs though - do any people say that about girls ?

clam · 31/05/2015 23:10

"My boys are like dogs though - do any people say that about girls?"

What, you mean calling them bitches?

Roseotto · 31/05/2015 23:27

Some people have an opinion on everything when you are pregnant. A boy - you won't know what's hit you! Another girl - oh are you disappointed; will you try again for a boy? Best just to smile politely and move on...

MagratGarlik · 31/05/2015 23:35

I have 2 boys. Wouldn't change them for the world, as most parents wouldn't. I don't understand this idea that having girls is somehow superior?

Love my boys. If I'd had girls, I'm sure I'd have loved them just as much. People always feel they have to come out with some inane comment whatever gender you are having. If you were having another girl, you'd have comments about fighting off teenage boys in a few years and never seeing your bathroom again. People just feel they should say something.

BathtimeFunkster · 31/05/2015 23:36

When I hear from a work colleague that she has a girl on the way I'm tempted to say something about the hormonal teenage years when she will be, well, many on this site know what she'll be and most were what she'll be themselves . . . but I don't!

Probably just as well.

Teenagers of both sexes are full of hormones.

How would you feel if I said the son your wife was pregnant with was probably going to be a violent thug or a rapist?

But of course, the effects of oestrogen are so much worse.

Catsize · 31/05/2015 23:47

I think that, as someone said upthread, people feel the need to say 'something'. It is all a bit odd.
How do you react when someone says they are having whatever gender? To say 'lovey' implies the other gender wouldn't be etc.
I have yet to work out the perfect response.
I didn't find out the gender with either of mine, but there was still lots of 'bet you're hoping for a Y because X' comments.

Catsize · 31/05/2015 23:47

Lovely

spillyobeans · 31/05/2015 23:49

I have friends who have a girl and a boy, and by their own admission the girl is the devil incarnate while boy is pretty easy going!

spillyobeans · 31/05/2015 23:50

Think people just feel the need to say something/anything rather than really meaning anything by it, however annoying it can be!

sweetkitty · 01/06/2015 00:05

I had 3 girls then a boy (cause of my poor husband we had to keep trying to get a boy ). Anyway they are all so different
DD1 is a girly girl pink princess dolls and make up
DD2 the polar opposite a total tomboy actually wants to be male, maybe gay maybe not, but am often being consoled that she'll grow out of it and turn into a girly girl one day
DD3 different again not really into dolls and princesses more animals
DS who is 5 now well I often joke he read the book on being a boy, despite having access to a range of toys has always played with cars and trains, he's obsessed with anything you could drive, loves dirt and being active.

He's no more difficult to parent than any of the girls, he's different because he's an individual not because he is a boy.

Heyho111 · 01/06/2015 00:08

My D woke up running and went to bed running. It was like living in a pinball machine. My S was quiet and laid back. They are all different.

MrsTedCrilly · 01/06/2015 00:42

I hate these lazy stereotypes too .. We took DS to A&E when he cracked his head on the coffee table and the dr said all boys do this, and only boys! Yeah whatever Trevor.

thedevilinside · 01/06/2015 01:11

On these threads you always get people saying boys are easier, happens every time. Is this plain old sexism? and the fact women are judged more harshly. DD is easier than DS, nothing to do with gender, just personality

SinisterBunnyMonth · 01/06/2015 01:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Andrewofgg · 01/06/2015 04:11

Bathtime All you say is precisely why I don't indulge in the stereotype!

BathtimeFunkster · 01/06/2015 08:14

Why don't you refrain from indulging in the stereotype because it's not true and is really offensive?

Andrewofgg · 01/06/2015 08:41

That's why I refrain from it. I first heard it from a woman with a teenage daughter- was that offensive?

GoodbyeToAllOfThat · 01/06/2015 08:50

I don't understand why anyone would make comments that could possibly stress a pregnant woman out, but it's true that people search for things to say and often times it falls flat. If there's no difference between boys and girls, then there's really no reason to ask the question in the first place - but they do. And then they're stuck looking for a response.

My two boys are quite a lot like dogs, they roll all over the floor wresting several times a day. I do find their rough-housing stressful.

goteam · 01/06/2015 08:57

Even the positive comments on this thread are patronising and gender stereotyping. Comments such as 'boys are wonderful' and 'girls are great' don't help. All children are different and I agree with sanity, stop limiting your child's options by imposing behavioural standards on them.

For what it's worth, my 3 year old daughter loves football and running around. She'll be the first to tackle a huge climbing frame and is a ball of energy. Let kids be kids.

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