"A boy? You won't know what's hit you"

[SoggyBottoms]

I have a DD aged 22mo and am pregnant with DC2 who I have just found out is a boy. I am sure I am being hormonal and oversensitive but I'm finding the things people say really annoying...so far I've had...

"A boy? You won't know what's hit you"
"OMG you have no idea how exhausting boys are"
"Boys are so different to girls - they never sit still...prepare yourself..."

And loads more besides. I know this is all very well intentioned but as someone with a DD who could best be described as a total livewire - is always climbing something, jumping off things, sticking things into plug sockets, running around like a mad thing, bashing things, swallowing pebbles etc - I'm finding it really annoying!

Who are these people who think little girls sit there angelically playing with dollies? Do they seriously think I've just been sitting back relaxing for the past 2 years sipping from a wine glass while she looks after herself? (I wish)

And does anyone have a good comeback that won't make me sound like a total nark?

No, it's all bollocks. Congratulations on your boy!

My first baby was a boy and I was a bit taken aback as for some reason I was sure it would be a girl (maybe because I grew up in an all-girl family). I had somehow internalised all that crap and thought a boy would be harder. Of course I was thrilled with my baby but it just seemed like unknown territory. The next day I said to the midwife "I just wasn't expecting a boy..." and she hugged me and said "boys are FANTASTIC – I have four – your boy is wonderful". I'll never forget how she turned it round for me at that moment.

Remember that if boys do ever seem to be more boisterous, a big reason for that is the pressure (both subliminal and overt) put on girls and boys to be a certain way – so from a young age, in many families/settings, boys get approval for climbing and jumping and pushing forward, and girls don't; girls get approval for being caring and quiet and hanging back, and boys don't. Obviously that's a generalisation but is is an important effect, and of course it's going to be a bigger effect in families where the parents think that way, so they will see the results of it more.

I have a boy and a girl and they are different in so many millions of ways, because they are different people. But they are not different along the "boys are this, girls are that" lines. My girl is more into running around, my boy is quite quiet and retiring, though that's only one aspect of it.

Ignorant, sexist twaddle.

I have to boys. one is laid back and loves to sit with his books, enjoys focusing on the detail of things and the other likes to bash things with whatever he's holding.

Both have quiet moments. Both have energetic moments. Both are absolutely wonderful.

People are so negative about boys, they are treated as the consolation prize.

I think the weirdest thing I've witnessed lately is a pregnant youngish friend of mine's FB page...she announced she was going for her 20 week scan and will be finding out if it's "pink" or "blue."

Cue loads of her closest friends commenting "I hope it's pink!!!" "Fingers crossed for a girl!"

Later on, she announced it was a boy and one of her friends actually put a face in the comments! I was

If the people who say this sort of thing are family or close friends then I would challenge it, perhaps in the way that PP have described by saying "do people really still believe those gender stereotypes in 2015?"

If they're strangers then you can either ignore, or tell them that they're being somewhat unthinking to roll out such trite and meaningless phrases. Or, if you want to amuse yourself, ask them why they would say that and see if they can explain themselves.

My boys are/were far easier than my daughter. It has sod all to do with their sex though, they are just babies who grow into children and all 3 of them have different characters and need different parenting.

Boys can wee in your face but at least they can't get poo in their vagina

Congratulations on your DS!

My son is 3 and is an absolute delight. Apart from his current reluctance to potty train he's never been any bother. He sits still and reads and cuddles and plays with dolls and teddies. He also loves trains and football. He's my little best friend and I'm so grateful for him. Currently expecting number 2 and would be delighted to have another boy :)

I tell people exactly what I think when they come out with this kind of bollocks. I don't ever want DD to be told that she does anything (other than the purely biological) "because she's a girl" and I will enforce her right to be wholly herself and not put into a little pink "girl" box one ignorant person at a time.

So I generally go for the jugular when people lazily gender stereotype, along the lines of (rather angrily) commenting "Those kinds of stereotypes are such bullshit, I know many many children who don't fit into them. Do you really believe in them???".

Congratulations. Boys are lovely.

As are girls.

Children are knackering. Regardless gender.

Yes there does seem to be negativity around boys and males in general actually. Apparently, the sugar and spice.... And slugs and snails and puppy dogs tails rhyme is alive and kicking

My experience of boys is fantastic but it seems to be of surprise to friends who have girls. No wonder such negativity surrounds boys into teens and adulthood.

Cuppa, surely the reason the boys become more boisterous is because they have had a few years of the constant stereotyping of 'oh he's such a boy' etc every time they jump around, climb on stuff they shouldn't and the like. The toddler boys I know don't have the same sort of 'sit down and play' toys that girls seem to have, so how can they learn to do that?

*boys are like dogs

feed exercise let them rest*

What absolute utter bollocks!

I've 2 boys, who are now 18 & 20. DS1 would sit and read books, was as quiet as a mouse, he liked being creative, building Lego and playing with Playmobil. DS2 was a bit more of a livewire, he liked to be either mine or DH's shadow and was more outdoorsy but there was nothing dog like about either of them.

Both of my boys still come for hugs. DS2 and I go out for lunches and have had weekends away on our own, he says I'm his best friend. DS1 lives away, but rings me 3 or 4 times a week to see how I am and they always, always end every phone call with "I love you mum!"

Boys are great, congratulations OP.
I can not stand sweeping generalisations about either gender.

I got this all the time when preg with ds1, (knew he was a boy) but he's themostlaid back thing ever, more of a handful now at 6, had my ds2 10 weeks ago and have had the constant......2 boys, that'll be a handful, you'll always be on your toes! My reply is always, I'm sure I'd always be on my toes whether I had girls boys or 1 of each!

I think all kids regardless of gender or age are equally amazing and equally hard work. Having said that, whenever I catch up with my friends who have DDs around the same age as my DS they seem so calm, easy going and helpful in comparison. But I also know a lot of slightly older boys who are calm, quiet, relaxed and very sweet and helpful and girls who are 'challenging' to put it mildly. To rephrase Forrest Gump: Having kids is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get :)

I have 2 boys, 2.10 and 9 weeks. They are wonderful. My eldest is a real live wire, but he is funny, affectionate and so so cute. My youngest is just the snuggliest baby. If I was to have another I would be delighted with another boy.

Thanks all - the general sanity on this thread is really cheering me up. I totally agree that the stereotypes are equally reductive to both sexes...

Smile, nod and ignore. Utter rubbish and doesn't need a response.

I just get the impression from these sorts of attitudes, that daughters are seen as much more "precious" than sons. Like someone said above, sons are seen as the "consolation prize".

Yeah there's this - the little girls are precious princesses and boys are trouble bollocks.

And along with it comes the "wait until they're teenagers" bit, where your angelic princess will turn into a scheming bitch and your noisy little boy will still be noisy and smelly and boorish, but now it's preferable to being evil like a teenage girl.

I feel offended on behalf of all the lovely little boys and girls I know (my kids, godchildren, nieces, nephews, friends' children) when I hear this kind of shite.

And I think it's pernicious and affects how children are treated and expected to behave, and it's just shit.

Congratulations on your lovely boy, I'm sure he'll make you very proud. Just like your daughter. :)

Ds1 age 2 is currently playing 'tennis' in the living room while climbing on some up turned toys and wacking a belt about. I cant chuck him outside, its pouring.

We had DS first (and didn't know baby was a boy). He is 2.5 now and although currently he is a bit testing, on the whole he has been a very easy, calm, chilled out, happy and sunny baby / young toddler.

DD on the other hand has already been a shock to the system and she is only 4 months!!

My ds sits and plays quietly with Lego, loves baking, pretend cooking, I sweet, polite, cuddly, adores his Build-a-bear, plays dress up with princess stuff, 'reads' his books quietly to himself, helps take care of his sister and put away laundry.

He also shouts continuously, doesn't listen, is defiant to the point of me tearing my hair out, stubborn demanding, fidgety, runs everywhere, is unaccountably rude when you least expect it, is obsessed with trucks, insects, bin lorries, diggers, will spend an entire day as a dinosaur or Batman.

He is an ordinary child, but also a complete original. I could not have imagined or expected how he would be before he came along. He needs exercise, food and affection, the same as I do, and I am not a dog.

I have a baby girl who was up to her neck in mud yesterday and loves wearing her brother's Batman cape. I get a lot of nonsense about how she will be both 'softer' but also incongruously 'less affectionate' because she is a girl, and people claiming to know what she will be interested in based on her biology. I get disapproving comments because she wears trousers mostly for practicality and I let her get dirty. I don't yet know myself what she will be as she has only just begun, I am looking forward to seeing it happen before my eyes.

Also what fenella said ^^ [congratulations]

I feel your pain! I have a 2 year old girl who thinks she is spiderman and is capable of making so much volume that an opera singer friend thinks she's got natural talent.... The only 2 things that make her sit still for more than 2 minutes -spiderman on TV or jigsaws. All children are different. Congratulations!