to wonder what the fuck to do now? (Immediate financial problem)

[Margaritte]

We are on a very tight budget for the next couple of months. We know this, and have got advice from StepChange & I posted a thread on here for recipe /shopping advice.

However, today our card declined trying to pay for £22 or so worth of shopping. We were not expecting that, and now I am very worried and starting to panic

We have some food in for dinners. No packed lunch food though, for ds1 & 2 and dh. We have no milk (well, enough for a bottle tonight for dd) and are down to 3 nappies.

Payday isn't until end of next week, so have to do something until then.

If you are not going to offer help and support then go and post else where. Are you Queen of Mumsnet Clutter, with your orders?

No I'm not just get sick and tired of all the shit stirring that seems to be going on at the moment, rather then actually offering support/help.

Which is causing people who need and want support not to post.

Anyone with half a brain who bothered to RTFT could see that it is a thread in which the OPwas asking for and, until recently, was receiving advice and support.

AIBU can be a rough place, as the op must know, having posted several threads here.

This whole thing began when a few posters expressed genuine concern on another thread about SWs investment in MN, but now people are clearly just jumping on the bandwagon for the dramaz.

It's a shame Margaritte has been dragged into this. I understand that SW was the one who dragged her into it but she wouldn't have gotten so much grief if so many posters were not following SW around to see what happens next.

Obviously I don't mean people who have been defending themselves. Just the hanger-oners perpetuating the drama.

I think that would be a very good idea Maryz

Me too.

If they were able to temporarily lock it while they investigated then surely they could do it permanently?

or if not lock it then move it somewhere more appropriate for example credit crunch then people can't say well it is in aibu and use it as an excuse to pile on.

If Margarette no longer wants any donations (monetary or 'stuff' ) then surely that makes things a lot easier and all this 'talk' can end.

OP, If I were you I would make it crystal clear in future OPs that you don't want any donations. That way no one will question your motives.

Problem solved.

Just popping up to say hello to Margaritte and to say I hope things are feeling a bit better these days. Sorry your thread has taken this turn. x

Hi all,
We can lock threads, yes. We don't tend to do it for much the same reason that we try not to delete, because a lot of the time if it's an interesting one it just prompts a bunch of "What happened to x thread?" posts.

On this occasion we're happy to take our cue from Margaritte.

When I was in my mid 20s and living in a scuzzyy house share in Hackney, none of us had any money for anything other than booze and fags but one year someone brought back a Christmas tree from somewhere. Think market was giving them away by 22nd December. We stuck bauble patterned wrapping paper onto cardboad (free cardboard from boxes and stuff lying around the house) cut the baubles out and hung from the branches on cotton. We didn't have any fairy lights. We might have splashed out on a few choc decorations from Woolworths (read Poundland nowadays).

Please. Ive made it as clear as possible - I havent accepted any monetary offers. I am also 'fully supporting' myself, although the moral support of suggestions and ideas are what I look forward to and Iwould be sad to lose those.

Just thankyou to everyone who has come on to help keep the thread on track I feel its a bit lost now though, and has got way out of hand.

I will see what happens over the next day or so, as there is a lot of valuable advice upthread, that I do refer to when needed. Also am awarethis has helped other MNetters too, would be a shame to lose it all.

HQ have said they will lock it for you Margaritte so you won't lose all the good advice. Would you like them to do that?

I really dont want it locked, no - it would then always be a lovely thread, that ended badly.
I see the suggestions for me to request this is pulled, and then to start a new thread for myself - not sure that will go really, based on some of the opinions already formed of my intentions.
I will see what happens. Hopefully, this go back to what it's meant to be.

Margaritte I hope things improve for you.

The thread nonsense aside margaritte how are things going?

To all MNetters that posted to check in on how things are now with the original situation, thank you;
I've taken all the advice on here, and its made a huge difference. I still struggle a bit with actually making a meal plan with what we have, although thats been a long problem with me, I find it hard and overwhelming usually. However, I always know what I need to buy in, and where the cheapest place is for it. I ve learnt a lot of new recipeson here, which has been lovely.

We are still trying to find our way through this, though we have a plan in place now to pay off what needs to be paid. Its not easy, and I feel it will take a long time to be over. I feel happier that I have the knowledge to deal with this now, the help and advice on here has made this happen
.

Hello, OP.

I see you mentioned way upthread that you're with StepChange, and you "have a plan to pay off what needs to be paid" and that you had considered bankruptcy lately.

I just wanted to say that perhaps you have already had this advice, but if your DMP is due to run for a long time, and leave you with a seriously stretched budget and a screwed credit rating anyway, alongside growing DC, it may well be best if you fell on your swords and declared bankruptcy now. A lot of people are very scared by it, but it can absolutely be the right thing to do in a lot of circumstances. I'm sure StepChange have advised you on this, but I just wanted to reassure you that it is not a moral failure or anything - the option exists to help people.

If you will struggle for a very large chunk of time, time that will be your DCs childhood, then it could be best to rip the plaster off now, rather than struggle on and need to do it in another years' time. If you did it now, the 6-year timeframe where you will be feeling its effects will be over more quickly.

Obviously I have no idea about the ins and outs of your particular situation - there are some jobs where you'd need to struggle on with an IVA or a DMP because declaring bankrupt would mean you couldn't work in those roles any more, and it can be serious for your housing situation - but in a lot of cases a long-term DMP is not always the best plan. So do take "real world" advice on that. If you've been struggling for over a year now, and it's not appreciably better, you need to give it real consideration.

I know that other MNettters are reading this thread for ideas, as they are in similar situations - I wanted to share a link from Jack Monroes FB article this morning ( Ive gollowed her since she was suggested on here)
She was challenged to create a weeks meal plan for a family, including breakfast, lunches & dinners, for the living wage. She managed it for less than that, and has assumed that cupboards are totally bare, so it includes herbs & spices, as well as flour etc.
I'll be using it, and I thought it would be helpful to others on here.

Forgot the link - here

NoSquirrels We have been seriously considering declaring ourselves BR. We did look into it, when it was mentioned upthread. Its still a very rral option for us, it just seems such a huge thing to do.
I worry about a few things, as we rent. Is certainly still on our minds though, for all the reasons you stated.