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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

to wonder what the fuck to do now? (Immediate financial problem)

845 replies

Margaritte · 30/05/2015 13:26

We are on a very tight budget for the next couple of months. We know this, and have got advice from StepChange & I posted a thread on here for recipe /shopping advice.

However, today our card declined trying to pay for £22 or so worth of shopping. We were not expecting that, and now I am very worried and starting to panic

We have some food in for dinners. No packed lunch food though, for ds1 & 2 and dh. We have no milk (well, enough for a bottle tonight for dd) and are down to 3 nappies.

Payday isn't until end of next week, so have to do something until then.

OP posts:
Seeyounearertime · 09/11/2015 18:12

I think I see where o was wrong, it seems SW was responding to PMs on OPs behalf and organised an Xmas tree and baubles etc. Then when I read:

Marrgaritte is in Kent. But I would be happy to pay for postage for the baubles and tinsel. I use myHermes to send 15kg boxes to Margaritte each month - that costs me £9.99

It made me think people were sending SW the Xmas tree, baubles, tinsel etc so that SW could send them on. Apologies for my misunderstanding.

laffymeal · 09/11/2015 18:16

It also strongly implies that sw is sending the op a 15kg parcel each month which according to the op she clearly is not, which leads me to believe sw is a bit of an attention seeking fantasist.

Sansoora · 09/11/2015 18:21

which leads me to believe sw is a bit of an attention seeking fantasist.

Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.

I prefer to think of her as a very nice lady who is who she says she is - a SadWidow. I think she means well but she finds herself in trouble more often than not because the well meaning part of her keeps on getting her into bother.

Original poster
Margaritte · 09/11/2015 18:59

I have said that SW sent multiple parcels already, in my last post. I also said what she was generous enough to send, although details of that are already upthread.

I know the rules regarding internet safety and personal details like address etc. I was being offered nappies & food, of which I had neither - and so I accepted gratefully. Again, I am know longer receiving either food or nappies.
It was a tempory solution of desperate times. I am still struggling, although have learnt alot about getting by on a budget, and cooking from scratch on this thread. So Im managing to feed us all on the advice & tips, why would I continue to take food shops? Where does it say I am?

I really want to say again, Im happy to answer anything that is still bothering MNetters, and am really sorry this is the case. Please dont let this turn into something to offend other posters with though Sad

OP posts:
ShadyMyLady · 09/11/2015 19:00

I know she probably does mean well, but she's getting herself into more than a bit of bother.

Flip it up the other way and she could be seen as preying on the vulnerable, all these people she is 'helping' are all people who have posted in dire times and who's guards are down. A friendly stranger offers to help them and before they know it they are giving out their own phone numbers and addresses and being expected to be on the end of their phones answering her calls every day. It's scary stuff.

It's all just so over invested, there's helping someone and then there's helping someone.

ShadyMyLady · 09/11/2015 19:02

Sorry Margaritte, your thread has been derailed completely. Again please don't feel like you're in the wrong, you're really not.

Original poster
Margaritte · 09/11/2015 19:04

Apologies for typos in last post auto correct

OP posts:
Sansoora · 09/11/2015 19:09

Where does it say I am?

I think at times people post without going back to check previous posts and all it needs is for someone to have been mistaken about a post and for others to then be confused by what was written.

I dont see why you should be continually defending yourself though I well understand why you want to.

MistressMerryWeather · 09/11/2015 19:16

Christ almighty, what a mess.

It's completely unfair that you have been dragged into this Margaritte, you should not have to defend yourself.

The people who waded into a long standing support thread to suggest you are taking the piss without even bothering to RTFT should fuck off.

Ememem84 · 09/11/2015 19:25

I've just read the entire thread and can't see that it was started with the intention of getting stuff.

The op was asking for help. Not all help involves sending money or things. I think the most valuable help the op has received has been in the form of support.

I hope things are going ok op.

X

Awoof · 09/11/2015 19:35

Hope you are alright.
Do you think you are closer to being able to support yourself fully?
I was going through very similar times when you first started the thread OP, so I was glad to know I wasn't alone and I found some of the recommendations really helpful. There are some kind folk around but make sure you are your own mouthpiece :)

SagaNorensLeatherTrousers · 09/11/2015 19:39

But this thread popped up in Active Convos, with a post by sadwidow saying quite accusatory things and also planting a weird seed of doubt about the OP HERSELF. Margaritte since you seem to have a friendship with her, maybe you should clear that up with her? I don't understand her intentions basically, as all it's done is attract really dodgy attention to this thread! Sorry, but posters saying we've "waded in" on a long-standing thread to take the piss clearly didn't see sadwidow's now-deleted post.

SagaNorensLeatherTrousers · 09/11/2015 19:49

There are some kind folk around but make sure you are your own mouthpiece.

That's a really good piece of advice.

It feels like someone who is quite vulnerable themselves is trying to help others who are vulnerable, and it's created a bit of a car crash situation on the boards, regardless of good intentions.

Sansoora · 09/11/2015 19:51

It feels like someone who is quite vulnerable themselves is trying to help others who are vulnerable, and it's created a bit of a car crash situation on the boards, regardless of good intentions.

Yes.

Iflyaway · 09/11/2015 20:00

Something fishy in this thread that just doesn't add up...

Outta here.

Sansoora · 09/11/2015 20:03

*Something fishy in this thread that just doesn't add up...

Outta here.*

Its probably for the best given how you feel.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 09/11/2015 20:05

This whole thing stinks

Clutterbugsmum · 09/11/2015 20:08

Can all you self righteous people just leave this thread.

If you are not going to offer help and support then go post else where.

I'm sorry your having to read all this rubbish Margaritte, please continue take the help/advice that offered and ignore all the crap.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 09/11/2015 20:13

Omfg. This is weirder than the Preppers thread.

If you are not going to offer help and support then go and post else where. Are you Queen of Mumsnet Clutter, with your orders?

Notimefortossers · 09/11/2015 20:13

Mind. Blown. Confused Wine

BoreOfWhabylon · 09/11/2015 20:17

FGS

This is a SUPPORT thread.

Just be kind.

SumThucker · 09/11/2015 20:20

Support thread, yes, but also on the most unforgiving board...

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 09/11/2015 20:20

Bore - it's actually an AIBU thread.

MistressMerryWeather · 09/11/2015 20:23

I never understood where people got the whole 'It's AIBU, I simply must be a dick' thing.

Did I miss it in the talk guidelines?

Christinayangstwistedsista · 09/11/2015 20:25

Saga

Spot on

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