To want to find out if my kids are safe (and how to do this anyway?)

[wheresthecat]

Bit of a long one but don't want to drip feed.
Up the road a little way the house was sold a few years ago and a woman moved in - has never spoken to any of us in the street, very much keeps herself to herself - this is very unusual in our street as everyone knows everyone, but it's her right.
About six months ago, her son moved in (mid twenties) spending his time between here and another house they have in the city. The only time we see them is in the middle of the night when they come back from Sainsburys - they're never out in the daytime, and the son will sometimes stand staring out of the window, and then shut the blind quickly if he sees anyone looking.

To get to the point, last night we were awoken by a huge commotion, four police vans and paramedics outside the house, the man shouting and screaming, swearing as they tried to get him into the ambulance. He was extremely violent and it took a long time for the police to fully restrain him and get him in the ambulance - we presume he was being sectioned.
One of the neighbours asked if there was anything he could do, but was told this man was extremely violent and dangerous, and to stay inside.

So, this morning, this leaves me wondering about the kids - they are just beginning to go for little walks by themselves (to the corner shop, round the corner to their friends' houses etc. Are they safe with this man around? And how would I find out - would the police be likely to give a definitive answer.
Obviously this man is ill, and I wouldn't ask his mother as I wouldn't want to (very awkward, invading privacy etc) but I would feel so much happier knowing.

I got the right creeps reading that. Are you all watching their every move?

This is why I don't associate with my neighbours. Too nebby for their own good.

You would have a field day with my house. Extreme mental illness means many police people and ambulances in a frequent basis.

No-one is going to give you a 'definitive answer' because it's really none of your business.

I think you all do have a right to know If your kids are safe but your street sounds like a nightmare to live in. Everyone in everyone else's business watching each other.

So you'd all be happy not knowing if your kids were safe?

Some people who live the hell of severe mental illness can have episodes where they kick off.. The hiding and going out at night would suggest to me someone who doesn't want to be around other people and the mere presence of police and the thought of hospitals can turn them into the hulk. But if they've hurt themselves and need medical attention it'll happen whether they like it or not.

My first thought wouldn't be that my kids are about to be snatched. Maybe a hobby would help rather than gossiping with the rest of the street about something that isn't your business.

Why do you think mental illness equals threat to your children? You have no real facts here. You are basing your concern on a presumption the male was being sectioned. You sound very odd. Just one example but he could have a head injury/concussion that affected his behaviour. It's none of your business. If your children cannot manage unsupervised an encounter with someone with unusual behaviour they should not be out alone.

Sounds like he has MH problems. Must be awful for him and his Mum.

I'd keep my nose out and let my dc have whatever freedoms I was going to let them have before the incident.

What Cooger said. Good opportunity to talk about developing street smarts.

I am in no way judging the man involved, it must be awful, I agree.
However, the fact remains that he has been described by the police as an extremely violent and dangerous man.
My concern was with the above statement.

What is it you envisage happening to your children?

And have you managed to join the dots regarding why his mother keeps herself to herself?

And he might have been that moment in time. It's a good way to shift the people away from the situation.

The Police are not medical professionals, and have been known to exaggerate. Him being violent and dangerous at that moment in time doesn't mean he is all the time. And I say that as a retired police officer.

So four police vans and an ambulance were in attendance and your neighbour thought they might need a hand?

Up the road a little way the house was sold a few years ago and a woman moved in - has never spoken to any of us in the street, very much keeps herself to herself - this is very unusual in our street as everyone knows everyone, but it's her right.

How good of you to acknowledge its her right to keep herself to herself. I think I would too. Can't stand roads where everyone knows everyone's business!

Anything could happen on any street at any time. You can't pinpoint one house in a street and expect to be given info of what went on in order to make a judgement call on your dc 's freedom.

From your post you have suggested nothing that would indicate this man is a danger to your children

He may have a mental illness, he may not.

What you do know is that since he has lived there he has posed no risk to your children at all and you have no valid reason for suspecting that may change. Just assumptions and judgements which appear to be born out of prejudice and poor understanding of mental illness.

Don't let your kids out alone and then you know they'll be safe from the ill man.

As for man standing looking out his own window well christ get the kids inside and grab your pitch fork.

You stand watching him watching out the window, I would too quickly shut my blinds. I'd hate to live in your street.

Have you have the shop keeper fully vetted also?

i am in no way judging the man involved

Oh but you really, really are. What threat do you think this man poses to your children specifically?

You are being a nosy neighbour, not a kind and supportive one.

Oh for gods sake, stop twisting her words. She has every right to be concerned about her neighbours. Likewise, her neighbours have every right to their privacy.

Tell your children not to try and bundle him into an ambulance and take him away against his will and they should be fine.
Your neighbour probably should have been a bit more forceful and shouted at the police, paramedics and unwell man to all calm down so you could all have a cup of tea and stand out on the street discussing whether the nan and his mother are 'right' for the area. After all, there are children and he's been looking out of the window!

*man

He might have just been a danger at that moment in time. It doesn't sound like he has caused any problems for you before and he keeps himself to himself. I doubt anybody will diclose anything about the man's condition to you.