to feel sorry for kids who are always playing out

[vodkanchocolate]

Probilly sounding very judgmental here. On our bit of street we have 2 families who never seem to do anything with their kids they are just playing out constantly I often wonder when they manage to go in for tea/dinner let alone baths, homework etc.

So yesterday dinner was time for us to go out go find my eldest dd who said why cant she play out with the others explained we are going to see an elderly relative whos about celebrate her 80th then we can call to the near by park this girl was listneing in and said thats laim fair enough not the most entertaining day for a 9 year old but the younger ones enjoyed themselves. Got back tea time and the bunch of same kids were still all i the street aged ranges from 4-12 and apparently one of the kids have said to my 2 eldest that Im stuck up and trying to stop them playing with the other kids. Why the hell would an 8 year old come out with that comment.

My kids do play out particully my 9 year old and never stopped her playing with anyone theres the odd incident where ill say think you best come away for a bit to avoid something.

Its same after school eve on a school night during summer months out until 9pm some nights wonder where the hell they find time to do stuff.

Sorry on phone today typing not very good.

Echt

The other poster was talking about children who are left outside long after their peers who have been called home to bed, and end up wandering around and hanging out with much older kids who are still out and about.

I have seen it happen as well.

Formerbabe

My experiences echo yours.

The other poster was talking about children who are left outside long after their peers who have been called home to bed, and end up wandering around and hanging out with much older kids who are still out and about.

But that's not what the OP was saying, so not to the point.

chalet - that's fine! But OP asked us if she was being unreasonble to feel sorry for these kids.

I feel sorry for them because it does look like they are unhappy after a few hours. We have a lot of kids round here but only these 2 families are out all time. Like this morning just bumped into a neighbour at play gym like me she likes to get out.

Anyway will reply later when get home kids going to grandmas for a bit so can do food shop in piece :)

True Worral but I really fail to see how not playing out =childhood obesity.

Food has more to do it imo. But this isn't what the thread is about.

I think the 70 and 80s were not a utopia.

I was a feral kid, and I hated, hated it. I was often told to go out and not come back for an hour, as were most of the kids that lived in my street.

The kids that I hung out were vile, the smoked, spat, were sexualised early on, got into loads of trouble. Went places, Stole from shops, we stayed out till 10 pm or layer harassing locals, knock and run etc.

I had a friend whose parents did not allow this, given the chance I pkayed with her in her backyard every chance I got, but her mum restricted this I assume from influnce concerns.

My ferral childhood was a bag of shit, i would have killed for the life my kids have.

Also when said ferrals are hanging on street corners at 16, everyone wants them off the street.

Also those times were not safe, as a ferral kid I was asked to get in cars quite a few times.

I feel sorry for those children as well. There is usually a handful of them on every estate, knocking before breakfast on a Saturday looking for kids to come out and play with them, still out on the green at lunchtime when the other children have been called in, out roaming around after dark often inappropriately dressed for the night time chill.

Yes, yes, yes Reeky

My mum had been a 'feral kid' and thought it was normal.

Yes to the getting in cars! I had forgotten about that. Happened to me and others a fair few times.

Some posters are confusing letting children play out all day with child neglect . It isn't automatically the same thing. If the children who are out all hours know they can always come back in if they are hurt / hungry /bored then they are not neglected . This whole neurotic obsession with doing structured activities with one's children probably accounts for why children these days expect to be entertained every waking hour . I'd be more worried about children who at elegy on the iPad all day because it keeps them quiet .

Mine would rather play out than go out a lot of the them. They've turned down swimming to walk to the chip shop and eat lunch in the garden.

But they are always welcome to come in to play or go into a friend's house.

I remember a little one who was chucked out from breakfast. His parents ate dinner without him being home. He was 3 or 4 :( I remember posting an AIBU about it at the time.

We may look neglectful but via iMessage all of the mums are in touch and we know where they are and what they're up to.

blimey I must be a shit mum - my eldest is out playing with her best mate and my youngest (6.5) is out with her gang from 9 till 8 only coming in if it's cold or she's hungry

my middle one has just made a huge batch of choc chip cookies

I am by no means neglectful - my children like playing out - I believe kids learn to make choices and risk assess by being allowed freedom - cosseting kids does them no favours as adults

Our estate is quiet and full of 'feral' families obviously yesterday I had 7 kids in our garden with our tent and guinea pigs eating crisps and building dens - poor neglected things

As a mum of much older children, I really miss that lovely smell of my kids when they came in from a day playing out!! Mixture of sweat/mud/sweets/wotsits and god knows what else. They had a great time. Chill your beans everyone!

I didn't think op or other posters was saying there was anything wrong with children playing out. I know I certainly don't have a problem with it. It was more to do with children who are out all day, everyday. Not being called in for lunch or dinner time. Not welcome back when they want to come in. This does exist. I have a memory of being about 2/3 and roaming the flats where I used to live, being locked out and banging on the door crying. My bio mum only answered the door when a neighbour got involved. I would say that was a chaotic home. It's echoed down the generations of my bio family but they don't know it's chaotic because it's all they've ever known. I'm glad I had 'judgey' neighbours as I'd have grown up like that and maybe continued the cycle.

As an aside op, if you feel there is an issue with neglect please contact ss or nspcc. Children need to be protected.

Between 5 and 6.30ish the street where I live clears as they are called in for dinner. Now it's later they're back outside afterwards. They were having a water fight last night - they were having a blast. The two scenarios are totally different.

True Worral but I really fail to see how not playing out =childhood obesity.

Food has more to do it imo. But this isn't what the thread is about.

It goes hand in hand imo.

Too much food, whether that's healthy food or unhealthy causes weight gain for a lot of people.

If they were taking the correct amount of exercise to burn off their calorie intake, they would be a lot slimmer.

Not necessarily healthier, but slimmer. Also, while a child is playing outside for a long length of time, I suspect they're probably snacking less than they might be if they were indoors.

I know my kids often want to eat out of boredom.

But 'not playing out' (as in, on the street) does not equate to lack of movement.

Obesity and poverty go hand in hand.

My DS & DD ( now grown up) played out all day in the holidays and weekends. They knew they had to come back at lunchtime and tea time but apart from that I never saw them because they were busy playing with a group of friends. They both remember that time growing up as being exciting and adventurous. They learned skills they could not have learned being with an adult all the time.
I feel sorry for kids whose parents organise everything for them and who keep them close all the time, Must be suffocating.

Not playing out doesn't always equate to a lack of movement, that's true.

But I fail to see how any child could move indoors to the same extent that they could by playing out for hours on end.

"Obesity and poverty go hand in hand"

It's certainly part of a bigger picture, yes.

Some people don't do much with their children and they are seen as an inconvience sadly. Some are turfed out for the day as its easier and quieter for the parents. The age of some that play out alone shocks me.

Children need a good mix, downtime and time doing things. If they choose to play out on their downtime fine.

It's preferred to have friends over here, outdoor time is usually as a family doing something.

Worra - I did specify on the street

Maine 'play out' in the garden and park, they play sports and they walk. But they don't roam the streets.

I appear to have turned into the Queen

im a 90s kid and between 6-11 i played out a lot,it is important for personal development but it was by choice i wonder how many of these kids are kicked when they latest fella is coming round.

Some people are being deliberately obtuse. It is clear what the OP meant in her OP. . I played out all the time as a child. During the day, with breaks for food and water. I know exactly the children OP is referring to. Neglectful, shitty parents who really did tell them to get out and stay out.

My whole childhood was spent playing outside with the neighbours' kids in the naice middle class cul de sac we lived on and the little park next door.

We'd play out all evening in the summer.

I'm 80s born so not that long ago really. I'd let mine play out if there was a similar safe place where we lived. I don't see anything wrong with it and I don't feel sorry for anybody playing out and having fun. What an odd idea!

Yabvvvu and a bit nasty and judgemental.