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Pro-lifers - what would you do? *trigger warning*

329 replies

catcuriosity · 26/05/2015 14:19

Not a thread about a thread, but obviously there have been a number of discussions on whether blanket bans on abortion are appropriate in this day and age, and a number of people both on and off line have come out in support of them.

I am just curious as to what a pro-lifer would do in this situation, and apologies if this is triggering to anyone.

Scan at 18 weeks reveals part of the baby's brain is damaged and that has impacted the normal development, including deformaties to the limbs and spine, which has a huge scoliosis. The bladder is also very enlarged, suggesting the baby cannot empty it itself, which could ultimately result in the bladder exploding.
More tests reveal that the brain damage has left the baby paralysed, and it would be unable to take its first breath after birth and would therefore die straight away, assuming it made it to term, which was below 50% liklihood.
The paralysis also meant there would be no fetal movement, and therefore no warning signs if the baby died in the womb. If that happened, there is an increased chance of infection (and risk to the mother's life) and also a high chance of no future pregnancies if infection left lasting damage.

And most importantly, doctors think baby's nervous system doesn't develop until 20-24 weeks, and therefore at 18 weeks, the baby can't feel any pain associated with the issues. After 24 weeks, the baby will be in constant chronic pain.

So, do you terminate or carry the pregnancy on?

OP posts:
poodles1985 · 30/05/2015 13:44

That's very true TTC, such a wide range of 'normal' reactions to any loss. Such a hard topic to discuss. Flowers for everyone on this thread.

Kittymum03 · 30/05/2015 22:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NothingUpMySleeve · 30/05/2015 22:43

Flowers cat, I'm so sorry you're in this horrible situation.

I'm pro choice as a general rule, but couldn't see many situations where I would consider having a termination myself. In your case I definitely would, I hate seeing suffering and, knowing that there is no future, just prolonged suffering, makes this the only choice I could make in your circumstances.

ttc2015 · 31/05/2015 14:46

Oh kitty im so sorry. Thing is you could have let nature do what it would and you could have died, been extremely Ill and even lost or slimmed the chance of getting pregnant again. Any way there was no happy ending, I know you wanted and loved that baby and it's awful and shit. Believe me I know the pain in losing a very loved baby.

Have you thought of counselling? I found speaking to someone helped but it took a few goes to find the right person. I'd urge you to call the miscarriage association and speak to someone there and share your grief.

Anyone going through something as painful as people have had on this thread deserve the utmost support. If you want to pm me kitty, feel free too. Same to anyone else who needs someone to share with.

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