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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to be down as "Mrs" on my honeymoon booking?

155 replies

DoreyBlue · 26/05/2015 14:13

Just booking our honeymoon. On the day of flying I'll be Mrs so I put that down as my title and he said I should put miss because I am

OP posts:
BatteryPoweredHen · 26/05/2015 21:41

Mrs is just odd though, if you are a 'mrs' but have a different surname from the man you are travelling with, you will look like you are married to someone else and are doing the dirty, surely?

You can get your passport changed to your married name before your wedding though (there is a special form that the person marrying you has to sign). Becomes a major hassle if you are going somewhere requiring a visa though as these cant normally be issued in married name before the wedding.

reallywhatnext · 26/05/2015 21:43

You can get your passport changed in advance of the wedding its just postdated to the date of your marriage. Its not that hard to google this but I think you like the drama.

I didnt bother as I had 4 years left on my passport (and I heard they dont send it back with the full amount on). I made the hotel booking so consequently on arrival at our hotel athere was a bottle of champers and a card to Mr and Mrs Liquid (as opposed to Mr and Mrs not liquid) Grin

BatteryPoweredHen · 26/05/2015 21:44

I'm inclined to agree that this is (or should be) the least of your worries...

HereNotThere · 26/05/2015 22:00

.

May I suggest a new passport holder for new passport. Wink

To want to be down as "Mrs" on my honeymoon booking?
HoneyDragon · 27/05/2015 00:06

I strutted a bit thanks to MoneySupermarket.

They saved me £675 in convenacing fees, their quote was total squididily, but the soliciters agreed to match it.

However I have neither the arse or the metatarsals to to a Dave.

So I settled for a little "Hell yeah" in my kitchen and made myself some ice cream and lemonade.

Weareboatsremember · 27/05/2015 00:10

I flew as Mrs married name the day after we got married. I had to fill in a form which the vicar also had to sign, and sent it off before I got married. I had my new passport ready and waiting to use from my wedding day, as I really wanted to use my new name straight away.
This was 10 years ago though, so maybe they've changed the rules by now

Summerisle1 · 27/05/2015 00:13

Really, genuinely had a tea-spitting moment there, HereNotThere.

Oldraver · 27/05/2015 00:36

No I just want to go as mrsBlue. Not bothered about having his surname

This doesn't make sense...either you change your name or not it doesn't matter but...your booking must be in the name and title on your passport

Number3cometome · 27/05/2015 10:09

Not sure they let dinosaurs on the plane OP

whiteiris · 27/05/2015 10:48

You can choose to use Miss/Mrs/Ms depending on your preference.

OnIlkleyMoorBahTwat · 27/05/2015 11:03

Do titles actually have any legal standing? I use Ms where possible, but get correspondence addressed Ms, Mrs and Miss, even from official sources.

My driving licence says Miss, probably because I didn't know any better when I was 17 but my car actually is registered to Mrs myname, despite that person not actually existing and the garage where I bought it, who registered it for me as it was a new car, using Ms in all their correspondence to me.

My preference is to not have any titles at all or if it is insisted on to make Mr/Ms the default so that men and women receive equal treatment.

Nolim · 27/05/2015 11:14

I think it has no legal standing whatsoever. If someone knows otherwise it would be interesting to hear.

Claralikessage · 27/05/2015 11:23

Oh I do so love the boasty posts like ....''I flew using my married name because....'' How sad that in this day and age women still see being married as a badge of honour and dump their original names so easily.

5YearsTime · 27/05/2015 11:50

Clara as a feminist I chose to change my name to my husband's name because my 'original' name is my fathers name who I don't have a relationship with so I carefully made a decision. Some people have their reasons!

londonrach · 27/05/2015 11:57

Does matter what you call yourself re the hotel. For flight tickets your name needs to watch the name in your passport.

londonrach · 27/05/2015 11:59

Clara i love being married, why cant i use my husbands name. I hate ms the bumble bee name. Im mrs and proud of it!

OnIlkleyMoorBahTwat · 27/05/2015 12:11

Eh? The poster who said she flew using her married name was just stating a fact. I'm sure many people, like the OP, wonder about the process of changing their name and passports etc, given that they may be wishing to use it very soon after their wedding.

I don't get how some posters on here read 'boasting' into almost everything. When I said my car was registered to a different title to my driving licence, I actually thought twice, because I was worried I would be accused of 'boasting' because I said I had bought a new car. I said that because I was explaining why I had not filled in the ownership form myself and that somewhere along the way, someone had assumed my preferred title was Mrs.

It's quite sad that no-one can admit to having a better life than living in a hole in the road under the control of an abusive pimp for fear of being accused of 'boasting'.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 27/05/2015 12:50

While I cannot bear the idea of either changing my name or using Mrs, I accept that many do, I didn't read any posts on here as boastful

Claralikessage · 27/05/2015 13:05

5Years, regardless of your relationship with your father it was still your name (you could have changed it by deed poll)you did not need to take your husband's name. You chose to-fine ...but as to the feminist bit..hmmm?

london- I'm pleased for you that you are proud. Eh, what are you proud of exactly? being married? being called mrs? (sounds a little needy to to me)

OnIlk- don't be silly! Write what you want.....new car? eh, great! (that's a fact , not boasting) We don't actually know you on here.

5YearsTime · 27/05/2015 13:36

Clara I am a feminist and in doing so I made my own bloody choice. Don't be so sneery at me. Being married to my wonderful husband makes me bloody happy so why would I change to some other random name by deed pole?

Claralikessage · 27/05/2015 13:38

OK...5Years, if you say so...but you do need to calm down a bit!

Claralikessage · 27/05/2015 13:44

PS: You could always use your mother's family name. Just saying......

Moln · 27/05/2015 14:28

But why does it matter that someone chooses to change their surname to the same as their husband's?

Others are strongly set that their name is their names, others don't feel the same and changing their name doesn't change who they are anymore than when a Marathon became a Snickers.

Being proud to be a Mrs don't a feeling I understand, so I've never used it, but other people do and I don't get bothered by it.

I think a person making a statement that they are married and happy/proud only equates to boasting if the person who perceives it that way feels inferior to those who are married?

honeyroar · 27/05/2015 14:55

Just because someone chooses to take their husband's name doesn't mean they're not a feminist! What a strange thing to suggest. Anyway Claralikessage now you sound like you're boasting that you're a better feminist than others and are a bit smug too.. Pot, kettle...etc.

I'm still who I am whatever I'm called. I got married because I wanted to be more of a unit and family with the man I love. I love that we share the same name now. I love my family and my past, but I don't need my old name to be the same person. I still use my maiden name for a lot of things because I haven't got round to changing all the visas, passport and ids that I need for work. It bugs me to be honest and I need to gee up and organise it all.

Each to their own, it really doesn't matter what people call them self as long as they're happy.

florascotia · 27/05/2015 15:19

Back to the passport issue. The latest UK passports don't have titles or any indication of marital status in them, just (line by line):

Type of document/country/passport number
Surname
First name(s)
Date of birth
Gender / Place of birth
Date passport issued/issuing authority
Date passport expires
Your signature (which obviously must match the firstname and surname name on the passport).

As others have said, travel tickets and passports have to have the same surname and first names on them. But I don't think anyone on boats/planes/trains cares too hoots about marital titles.

It's much simpler if hotel bookings have the same name as the name on the passport of the person who is paying the bill. (Usually, no-one checks but I've been asked to show my passport when arriving at a pre-booked hotel in nearby Belgium, of all places, as well as in more distant countries.)

Ideally, your hotel booking needs to have the same name and address as the name and address of the credit or debit card of the person who is paying the bill, otherwise you can get some funny looks.

But no-one at any hotel I've ever been to bothers about marital titles.