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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be really pissed off with MIL

227 replies

Sandbrook · 25/05/2015 22:08

MILs 7th birthday this week. Of late she was speaking of never getting a chance to go away/hotel break etc etc.
So DH and I gave her a voucher for a nights stay in a 4 star hotel about 45 mins from home bearing in mind she's not a great traveller.
Just off the phone to SIL who's told me MIL has given the voucher to her other son and wife to treat them. Unsure whether she regifted letting them believe she paid for it or not. But still I'm fucking annoyed as if she didn't want the voucher I would have happily taken it back and used it as a much needed break for DH and I.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sandbrook · 26/05/2015 19:31

Oh is cancelling the voucher really mean?
I may still have a cooling off period on the purchase?

OP posts:
LowryFan · 26/05/2015 19:35

I don't think it's mean, obvs if you didn't tell BIL it was cancelled that would be mean. Or kind of funny. Wink

Original poster
Sandbrook · 26/05/2015 19:44

I swing from forget it and move on to fuck this, I'm going to have to air my frustration.
A small part of me thinks cancelling it and saying nothing would be funny too Lowryfan

OP posts:
chippednailvarnish · 26/05/2015 19:45

You can't afford it, she doesn't want it. Cancel it and go on the hen do if it's not to late.

I'd be posting regular FB updates of the hen do to make sure Everyone knows what a great time you are having Wink

chippednailvarnish · 26/05/2015 19:46

I mean too late!

diddl · 26/05/2015 19:49

Is cancelling a possibility?

If so, bloody do it!

If not, transfer it to you!

AlternativeTentacles · 26/05/2015 19:51

Is cancelling a possibility?

as far as I can make out from fb they DB and wife were using it this weekend

Bit too late!

ZenNudist · 26/05/2015 19:53

If you are lucky enough to be able to cancel then do it! Do it now!

If not I still say demand it back. Ring them, don't email. Get your dh to talk to them. Whatever. Can you really take paying £200 for their break whilst you go without. What do they do for you?

kickassangel · 26/05/2015 19:57

If you do cancel it, make sure that DH is on board, and do it under the guise of "we're so sorry we bought something you didn't want. It was your special birthday, so let us buy something to make you happy."

After all, the intention was to make MIL happy for her birthday, not to give Bil & SIL a free night away.

Sianilaa · 26/05/2015 20:06

I wouldn't cancel it without actually speaking to your MIL first.

I would ring and say that you've heard she's given it away, and ask why. Say you thought she would love it and you're very sorry she didn't but you would have liked the opportunity to rectify it because you sacrificed a hen do and a lot of money for it. I'd be really honest and upfront.

TidyDancer · 26/05/2015 20:08

Ooh the devilish side of me thinks cancel it! I would definitely make my feelings known though, MIL was wrong. It would be different if it was nearing the expiry date but obviously that's not the case..

Original poster
Sandbrook · 26/05/2015 20:56

Mil asked DH to fix her cellar door this eve so he's just home from her house.
He said he had to ask her about the voucher so said something along the lines of Sandbrook & I really thought you'd like the voucher, sorry if we got it wrong and put you on the spot.
Mil then said she had been talking about voucher with DB's wife who said she was "raging" as she's been dying to go to the Spa for ages and she'd never be able to afford it and if Mil doesn't go, she's not to waste it and pass it on to someone who will appreciate it more!!

Words cannot describe how mad I am. DH feels Mil was guilted into passing it on. He is going to tell DB that Mil would like something else instead so we need voucher back to get refund.

Cheeky cheeky cheeky!!!!

OP posts:
bigbumtheory · 26/05/2015 20:58

Sounds like your mum was guilted into it which is just a really shitty thing to do. Cancel the voucher while your DH asks for it back.

chippednailvarnish · 26/05/2015 21:06

I'm liking your DH!

TidyDancer · 26/05/2015 21:07

Ooh just read your last post! Angry

Definitely get your money back!

NinkyNonkers · 26/05/2015 21:11

Boo hiss at sil! Def get it back, and if needs be contact the spa and tell them it isn't to be used by anyone other than mil.

icelollycraving · 26/05/2015 21:12

Definitely cancel if you can & don't enlighten your sil. Angry

MrsAmaretto · 26/05/2015 21:20

Definitely cancel it in light of MIL being guilt tripped into it!

WhereYouLeftIt · 26/05/2015 21:34

Wow, your SIL really is a piece of work Shock. Guilting a 70-year old out of her birthday present!

If you can cancel, cancel. If not, insist the bitch gives the voucher straight back to MIL, with fulsome apologies. I wouldn't give a flying fuck how spiky she can be or how frosty future relations with her would be Angry.

EponasWildDaughter · 26/05/2015 21:42

''[DH] is going to tell DB that Mil would like something else instead so we need voucher back to get refund.''

Thank GOD for this Grin Hooray!

I hate threads where the right and proper thing doesn't happen in the end.

Please let us know when DH has spoken to his DB.

LindyHemming · 26/05/2015 21:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Sandbrook · 26/05/2015 22:43

I called the hotel and told them the bag containing the voucher was stolen (didn't want to go into family dispute details).
They have cancelled it but say no refunds so will email another to me.
DH will ring DB tomorrow to explain why they can't use it!
I know I haven't kept my disdain for this SIL secret on this thread but she's hit an all time low now. Lucky I don't have much to do with her anyway. Will have to see hee at a family function in June though, not sure what will happen then. Hopefully I will have calmed down because right now I feel like throwing a punch Angry

OP posts:
WinterOfOurDiscountTents15 · 26/05/2015 22:46

Have you considered she's making an excuse because your DH put her on the spot and she wanted to shift the blame? You already dont like SIL presumably MIL knows this, so its an easy way to do it!

Inertia · 26/05/2015 22:50

Good for you!

Why don't you take MIL, as you're going to be missing friend's hen party? Then you'll know it'll be used.

RB68 · 26/05/2015 22:58

I agree you and MIL should go (if you don't mind sharing)