to be bit upset with dsis re food?

[wandafull]

Just had dsis and her family

• her dh and two dc- to stay for bank holiday weekend, plus had another ffriend, her family, same number of kids. So, busy house. Dsis sits me down just before she left and told me as nicely as possible that the food situation was a 'bit weird'. To give a bit of context , I was always overweight as a child and this continued into adulthood- really had to do portion control and had a personal trainer for a while to drop down a size. Anyway, I have two dds and definitely do not want them to be over weight. So, they get good healthy three meals a day but no snacks in between. I don't offer snacks to other kids either, when they are here and don't give them it if they ask. Otherwise my dds get very upset when they are not allowed but others are. So I suppose I'm quite careful with adult portions of food now I've lost the weight- as has dh too- and I don't make piles of food when we have guests. Dsis basically told me that her dc were hungry and grumpy and that she hadn't had enough to eat and that it was weird that I offered so little food! She was nice about it but it's got me really quite worried- I offered guests and kids cereal for breakfast at sevenish, then nothing till lunch at 1 and then nothing till kids tea a 5 and adult dinner at 9Ish. Is that weird?

I know. Now you come to mention it, it is a bit odd. Did they all sit there with rumbling bellies waiting for the next meal? Did no-one say I fancy some cake and go off to the supermarket? Most odd really. And how come the sister didn't turn up with stuff? Most people do when they stay somewhere. Chocolates and dips and nuts or anything really. Just stuff to share. Something to make the weekend feel a bit celebratory.

Weirdly fascinating thread generally. Not just the OP but the rest of it. Some people eat snacks that sound like meals to me and other people eat daily the sort of snacks I only buy at Christmas time. And everyone so sure that their way is the right way. MN at its most revealing.

I am also quite fascinated by this thread. If my small children were crying with hunger though, I can't imagine not explaining this and asking for food at the time so I don't understand why the issue wasn't raised until the very end of the visit. Also, if you went out anywhere surely they had the option to buy food or visit a cafe?

I'd agree with everyone saying that being very strict over snacks may lead to children eating in secret and bingeing as they get older - this is my personal experience. I agree that too much snacking is not a good idea either but a happy medium is ideal. Also, the fact that the OP is concerned that her 6yo puts on weight - young children do periodically 'pudge up' right before a growth spurt when they stretch right out again. They need calories to grow and it's important that they have good fats in their diet. An adult woman's weight loss diet is definitely not appropriate or healthy for young children.

Finally, being a healthy weight is important - I'm not denying that. But it isn't 'heartbreaking' to have a child who might struggle with their weight. OP, there are worse things that could happen to your daughter. Loading weight with such disproportionate significance and emotional power will cause a lot more damage than a few snacks.

I agree Stitch, it is a weirdly fascinating thread! I had no idea people had such strict ideas about food and kitchens! All my friends are easy-going when it comes to hosting and food-prep. They provide plentiful food, guests also bring food, mealtimes are flexible, and snacks are unrestricted.

I don't think there is a 'right' way of eating, it's very individual... as long as you provide enough food and access to your kitchen, guests will choose the way that is right for them.

I'm so pleased I take food with me whenever we go to stay with people - primarily because it's GF and easier for me to bring than for them to pay out for - but it saves so much bother! Mind you, I've never come across anyone who is so parsimonious with food that I'm starving between meals either; but if I did at least I'd have stuff with me to feed the children at least.