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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask what you would tell your 20 year old self if you could?

180 replies

sherbetlemonD · 24/05/2015 00:44

Just curious. You hear it all the time "if only I knew that when I was younger". Any pearls of wisdom?

OP posts:
sshapplecartitisallokay · 25/05/2015 19:36

Start TTc a few years after you meet that nice bloke at that party. He is the one and you do want kids after all. Don't wait till your maternal urge kicks in when you are nearly 40 like a fucktard idiot.
Build a career in social research. You have a real aptitude for it and you genuinely enjoy it. You won't like being a local government bureaucrat.
Have a small wedding and don't invite your family. That way, they don't get to refuse to come.

kissmethere · 25/05/2015 19:51

Work harder and stop wasting money. Take your job more seriously.

DrFoxtrot · 25/05/2015 20:03

Wear a skirt, your legs are great and you might have varicose veins later

Melfish · 25/05/2015 20:26

Travel more. Spend less time with your BF and more time with your friends. Start running and watch what you eat, you will not be this size again. Learn to drive (I' m old and scared now!).

shockedballoon · 25/05/2015 21:49

When you go to uni, buy a house with the £12k compensation you just received (from car accident when I was 8) don't just piss it up the wall.

The house I'm living in now is just outside of the student area (young profs type area) & worth about £140k. We bought it in 2001 for £68k. In 1994 (2nd yr of uni) it was worth ~£8k

The amount I could've saved in rent and mortgage payments makes me sob a little!

kippersmum · 25/05/2015 22:04

The pictures taken of me watching a total solar eclipse in a tie-dye bikini, that i looked amazing in. I never would have told the publisher they couldn't use them, because I was worried I looked fat!!! WTH was I thinking, I'll never look that gorgeous again!

lastqueenofscotland · 25/05/2015 23:21

you went for the wrong guy
have more fun at university being an adult is awful theres lots of time to worry about bills
you are worth so much more than what you weigh/how you looked on a night out

Sometimes it's really REALLY shit, but actually in the fullness of time things are ok.

MissMartin1992 · 26/05/2015 00:00

im only 22 but id say...

spend more time with your grandparents.. you dont have much more time Sad

LadyCuntingtonThe3rd · 26/05/2015 00:05

Don't try to start over with your DS's father. It won't give you anything. And he will be dead 10 years later anyway.

purplemurple1 · 26/05/2015 07:21

Carry on as you are and dont stress to much about the fuckups you'll make in your 20's as it all works out for the best.

Oh and stop worrying so much about trying to save from your pitiful income and nagging your bf to do the same, as that also works out fine once you graduate.

nameuschangeus · 26/05/2015 07:47

Don't waste another 10 years on the selfish twat who's just letting you support him through uni, helping him find work and then will dump you and treat you like shit once he's 'made it' as a journalist. Go with the man who you still think of now, 27 years later.

Save money and don't spend every penny and more on having fun and supporting an ungrateful twerp. Buy a house in London when you could.

You're clever enough to go to uni - do it!

Realise that size 12 is not fat and you'll never be so beautiful again.

Athenaviolet · 26/05/2015 07:52

Drop out of uni, get a basic job and buy a flat!

Buying a flat when I was 20 would have done me a lot more good than studying for 2 more years and not getting on the property ladder for a further 3/4 years. House prices went crazy in those years and I've really missed the boat compared to people 5 years older than me.

bluecheque4595 · 26/05/2015 08:29

Stop listening to Radio4, wearing a cardigan and drinking cocoa, get some hair and makeup advice and enjoy being young and quite thin and fit! Don't be such a goody two shoes. Your older self is very disappointed with you.

DrDre · 26/05/2015 08:33

Don't apply for a PGCE! Complete nightmare and a waste of a year of my life. There are plenty of other careers out there.
Buy a house as soon as you get a job. Don't wait four years by which time prices have shot up loads.

bigTillyMint · 26/05/2015 08:35

Nothing. Your 20s is the time to party, work 9n your career and make lots of fuck - ups. It will all turn out great in the end.

Lioninthesun · 26/05/2015 10:16

Stop worrying about finding Mr Right and focus on yourself and finding the career you want. Don't just fall into relationships and then change your life for them - put the men at the bottom of the 'to do' pile basically, not the top!

bigoldbird · 26/05/2015 10:28

LTB. You can manage on your own. You are not fat (though you will be if you stay with him). Don't listen to your parents, the world changed dramatically between the thirties and the eighties, their advice doesn't work in the modern world. Train to be an accountant, it is not boring, it is the best job in the world. You don't have to be a 'good girl' and you do not have to do what other people tell you to. Really short hair doesn't suit you. The list is endless really.

However, I didn't take any of that advice and now have a life that a love with a fantastic husband (not the first one obviously). Life is good in your fifties.

Gingermum · 26/05/2015 10:31

Someone else said rightly that there are so many 'no you're not fat' posts. I've noticed a huge amount of 'leave the selfish abusive twat now' posters too.

So sad that so many of us swallowed the crock that is 'get a man at all costs'. Such bollocks and it's caused so much unhappiness.

This is one of those threads that should be a book.

Lioninthesun · 26/05/2015 10:32

Oh yes and every picture you think you hate now you will love in 10 yrs time! You will never be this young again!

Sierraspider · 26/05/2015 10:35

"Wait to have a child. Don't sell your mare. Work hard and save save save. When you do have a child, have a C section. Do NOT have forceps. Stay in Watford."

merrygoround51 · 26/05/2015 11:08

Be yourself, you are good enough.

Focus on what makes you happy, not what makes you popular.

GymBum · 26/05/2015 11:12

Don't get married or settle down too early
Concentrate on your career to set yourself up financially
Save save save save
Get a pension
Buy a house

susurration · 26/05/2015 11:37

I would tell myself to work harder, realise that school and uni is the best start you've had and you need to work better to get the results. Take a different Masters degree and improve your work prospects. Forget the boy who breaks your heart over and over again and concentrate on your wonderful boyfriend, who turns out to be the best thing that will ever happen to you. Escape your father, he doesn't have to rule your life.

shovetheholly · 26/05/2015 11:53

Your upbringing was not normal. You're only just starting to realise that it was abusive. Get a LOT of counselling now.

Don't allow yourself to become middle aged in the way you handle responsibility when you're still young, because you crave security so much. Go out and live.

Don't marry your high school sweetheart. He's not the right person for you at all.

Don't be scared. Fearlessness is very forgiveable. Make the most of the fact that you're allowed to make mistakes when you're young. Go for your dreams, not what's safe.

themumfairy · 26/05/2015 11:56

when I thought I was fat at 20 I wasn't.
wish I'd of realised what career I wanted at 20 and got education and training in that field then.
enjoy my kiddies being young as they have grown up so fast.

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