to ask what you would tell your 20 year old self if you could?

[sherbetlemonD]

Just curious. You hear it all the time "if only I knew that when I was younger". Any pearls of wisdom?

Stop caring what people think of you.

Don't hold onto someone who ain't worth you.

Enjoy life.

There's many more. But I'm 21.... so 10 years from now I should have a lot to say.

Now is the time to make mistakes. A lot!

Don't look for greener pastures-that man is THE one, the rest are wankers (particularly number three-when he appears, batten down the hatches and keep getting the bus).

To take that university place and then go travelling before settling down, because that boy you think you love is going to drop you within the year.

If it feels wrong, it's wrong. Respect your own opinion. Work out what the hell that even means. Then be your own person.

stop spending - you'll still be paying off massive debts in your mid-30s

stop eating - you'll be morbidly obese
don't stay with R, he is a twat and will nearly cost you your best friendship

go places, see things and meet people, or you'll get to your mid-30s and realise you've done nothing really

You are right, you don't want to have children and you never will. No matter how much people say you will change your mind you won't and that's fine.

Learn from every man you meet. It will prove very useful when you meet the man who is exactly right for you. By the way that's not going to happen for another 20 years, so you have a lot of learning and enjoying to do.

The little voice inside your head is usually right. Listen to it.

Stop fucking spending...you and dp may think it's great now with your holidays and your gadgets but you're going to be paying these debts off for the next ten years.

Take school and study seriously
Don't worry about the popular girls, they turn out badly.
Eat healthy and exercise
When you meet the man of your dreams, make sure he has a men's health check up, force him.
Go to church

Don't pass up the opportunity to work in Australia for the boyfriend, it will end in tears and you'll never get the opportunity again.

Don't go out with him. Quit uni, make it up with your ex, buy a house.

I eventually made it up with the ex so I did get one bit right.

Keep as much independence as you can, protect and never surrender your assets, because that man, who is promising you the world, he can't see the future and he can't keep his promise (or his pants on!).

Don't stick with your boring steady job because you're afraid to go off and travel and see the world.
Stop worrying about meeting 'the one'.
Stop moaning that you're too thin and can't put on weight!!

Quit your nurse training as being a nurse will cause a huge amount of stress for the next twenty years the NHS are terrible employers and won't go give you any support whatsoever when your child is disabled .

Don't change a thing. Do exactly what you and your boyfriend are planning, you met him at 13 and he is in and out of your life til you finally get together when you're 19. You're getting married at 20 and DS follows soon after, you lose baby number two and it breaks both your hearts but is never forgotten and eventually DD arrives, you both make beautiful children with the biggest bluest eyes you've ever seen. The only thing you need to do differently is to stand up for yourself against his family's shitty, judgmental comments, tell you know who to fuck off when she suggests aborting DS although I'm sure she regrets that now as she and everyone else adores him. Yes people do consider you too young to be married but you are meant to be and my gosh girl you have everything you ever wanted! You are so so happy.
Also replace the windows in the house you buy before you decorate from top to bottom!
And on that Friday when driving home although DD is screaming the car down and all you want is to get home follow the urge/instinct and do turn right onto grandma's road, she dies that evening.
As for more babies, you really want them but I'm not old enough yet to advise for or against that so I'll leave it to you, a couple more can't hurt, surely

You will have absolutely no trouble getting pregnant so stop worrying.
You will meet a lovely man to get pregnant with.
Buy a house/flat as soon as you can.
Don't use so much steroid cream on the eczema on your arms (granny skin will result).
You are much, much prettier than you realise.
Clearasil will deal with your acne.
Be kind to your back when pg/shoving a pushchair or you will have back problems.
Accept the fact your father is the problem, not you.

Don't marry him.
Move abroad to work for a bit.
Ditch the waster people

It's easier to stay slim and fit than to lose 4 stone later in life. Other then that go with your instincts - it's all turned out well so far. Oh, and stop giving yourself a hard time, you may not be perfect but you're good enough (perfect is overrated and more than a little irritating anyway).

1. Don't stop loving beautiful clothes, but buy less, buy better and buy much less crap.
2. Buy a flat asap after graduating, even if it's just a tiny one. You can rent it out when you go and live abroad, and it will be a brilliant investment.
3. You are size 10 and beautiful. Seriously, how did you EVER think you were fat?!

Even though you are young go with your instincts to get married and start a family, don't worry if your don't fall pregnant straight away because it will happen.

Spend more time with your Nan, make the effort to visit her more often and when you are with her don't make excuses to leave, she won't be here forever and when she is gone you will miss her more than you can imagine.

Eat the right foods and get plenty of exercise now, it is much harder to lose the weight than not put it on.

Work hard at your career, but give up on the accountancy exams, you wont need them anyway.

Change course at uni . The one you did is not for you. Stop worrying about everything it all turns out pretty well.

Don't try to be someone everyone else thinks you should be. Be brave and follow your instincts.

You aren't the problem. You aren't difficult. You aren't in the wrong job. You know that you're not well. Fight for a proper mental health assessment rather than have your life fall apart at 30 due to undiagnosed bipolar disorder.

But then, would I have my husband and beautiful daughter if things had been different? I'd still go through it all again if it meant having them at the end of it all

Don't be in such a hurry to be married. Don't be in such a hurry to settle down in a career - travel, travel, travel.

If I had done those things a lot of pain would have been avoided.

Oh well, now catching up 40 years later.

I'd say: relax. Go easy on yourself and other people. Enjoy life.
Your aggressive neurosis is only learned behaviour from being raised by a lunatic. You are actually naturally quite gentle and calm.
Steer clear of lunatics who attach to you and suck you dry. You may be an expert at soothing and nurturing them but they drain you and don't think twice about it. Look after yourself first. Hang out with happy, sane people. They are not dull.
You are beautiful. Make the most of it. Learn now how to work hard for what you want. Don't coast. And run a mile from that stunning millionaire playboy - he's not an exciting adventure, he'll wreck your twenties.
And That Job you were asked to do? Don't bottle out at the last minute. Do it. Just for a bit, to see what happens. Everyone else on the team is now stinking rich and famous.