to ask what you would tell your 20 year old self if you could?

[sherbetlemonD]

Just curious. You hear it all the time "if only I knew that when I was younger". Any pearls of wisdom?

blacktreaclecat but these things sometimes can't be planned.

Spend more time with your mum and as soon as she finds that lump convince her to get a double mastectomy.

Don't worry about whether you will ever find someone. You will and your life will be better than you could have ever imagined (except that one mum-sized gaping hole in your life).

Please ffs dont stay with idiot lump of a boyfriend for 5 more years!

I'd tell myself to not take my mother and sisters opinions seriously. Other than that I'm pretty OK with how its all going. It was only five years ago though, so plenty of time to change my mind.

Buy the house on your own, not jointly. You know exactly where.
Get a nice car.
Join a gym, get fit and finish your application to be an Officer in the TA.
Don't take the next job you are offered, take a local one and do evening classes.

Be single for five years and find yourself.
Get counselling for your childhood and go NC with family.

Don't diet (you don't need to) because you WILL get fatter .
Sugar will be an addictive substance to you, keep away.
Use every opportunity to educate yourself.
Buy a property now!

You're not fat. Don't go on a diet because the moment you do, you'll be dieting for the rest of your life & you weight will only increase in the long run.

Leave him, I know you think you can change him but you can't. He'll always be like this.

Go home. You need your parents.

Relax, your life turns out fine.

Be more confident. Don't listen to the people and the inner voice who tell you that you can't do things.

It's all going to work out very well indeed but don't trust your family - distance yourself, don't rely on anything they say and tell them nothing. Stop stressing about whether you will have a family - you will but enjoy being young, go abroad, embrace some different experiences and don't wait around for other people.

Don't waste time in relationships when you know they aren't right. Be happy being single.
Have confidence in who you are.
Swap to a degree topic that you are passionate about- it will suit your eventual career.
You will get over this depression and be happy again.
Don't drink alcohol so often.

At 20 I'd have told myself to learn a computer language. At 30, you should definitely take that opportunity to move to London and double your wages in a reasonably secure industry. You could've bought a great 3 bedroom house for less than the cost now of a one bedroom flat in your home town.

You are not fat, make the most of nice skinny clothes while you can. It will be harder when you are older.

Take up running now.

1. Get a pension
2. Buy a flat when all your friends do
3. Don't smoke!
4. Join a gym and stop eating croissants for breakfast
5. Don't leave your fab job to go freelance -- work in the evenings and weekends instead.
6. That new thing called "the World Wide Web" - that'll really catch on. Start a website.

30 is not ancient and you're life won't be over when you hit it.

It's possible to be happy and fulfilled without a man in your life. Some women put up with utter shit from men rather than be alone.

Don't stay with him, he's a rebound and his family are a nightmare you will have 7 years of misery. Stay home, save up, buy a house and travel the world because at 28 the love of your life will stroll on in give you the best little boy that ever lived and your only regret is that you cant afford a deposit and there's no time for discovering the world now till your older!

Concentrate on building a successful career. Forget about the man you are about to meet again, he will never love you and you will waste your best years trying to change him.

You'll marry him and get so much love from his family and three utterly amazing boys. You can't not marry him because frankly your genes do amazing things together and they are the light of your life and your life's greatest work all in one. BUT if you go into that marriage openly adoring and expect nothing in return that is what you'll get and over 20 years that will break you completely and turn you into a depressed wreck.

FFS look after your back, it is not a good one and whilst kick boxing classes and pump and step and running and swimming all seem like the most fun, a fractured spine at 40 is not a good return on the investment. Maybe just swimming and yoga ok? You'll thank me.

Don't let your bil play rugby. Just don't.

That it all works out ok in the end.

Get help for your anxiety! Now!
Start IVF earlier, it's not going to happen on its on.

You worked so hard to lose that weight. Keep it off, or in 10 years you'll have all that and 2 stone more to work on .

Take up that brilliant, crazy offer to work in Nicaragua. See the world, sort your head out, stop being scared, eat properly, get away from all the negative, unhappy people who rule your life, and get some self-esteem. Please, please work on your self-esteem, or it will plague you for decades.