to ask what you would tell your 20 year old self if you could?

[sherbetlemonD]

Just curious. You hear it all the time "if only I knew that when I was younger". Any pearls of wisdom?

Just have the confidence and strength to admit you're gay. Don't force yourself for almost a decade into relationships with men, just to please other people.

Above all be careful & sensible. Then have fun. And don't despise the big pants that your mum or MIL wears. They are your future.

Don't ignore that gut feeling one night, take the next day off work, make DH take the day off work, sit by his dads bedside and be with him to say goodbye, not 10minutes later after a call and sprinting down the street crying trying to get there.

Besides that, change nothing. In the next 12 months you get married, buy your first house and start a job you love - and it's all still going well now, 5 years later.

You're not fat.

Mr Right is in front of you!!

Eat better.

Stop getting into debt!!!
Don't be with that wrong 'un
Go out with friends more

Don't get married to the loser.

Forget about him and stop putting your life on hold, he'll never get his act together. In less than a year you'll meet the man you eventually marry and have DD with.

Don't let anyone tell you your past choices have been wrong and make you feel guilty for trying to make yourself happy. Every decision you have made is because it was right for you at the time.

Don't invest any more time trying to make a relationship with your Dad. In a few years you will be closer and he will hurt you irreparably. 3 years down the line you will no longer talk at all. 5 years down the line you will have a daughter of your own and realise that as sad as it is, cutting him out of your life is the best thing you have ever done. He is toxic and your child doesn't ever need that in her life.

All in all, make yourself happy at all costs. Fuck what anyone else thinks. You are beautiful and some day soon, someone will love you completely and you will learn to love yourself.

Leave your boyfriend, spend more time with your friends (I did do both of these but should've done it sooner) don't get in to debt by buying clothes you don't need, your depression will go away and you will lead a normal and happy life, stand up to your step mum and fight for your relationship with your dad

It's not you, it really is him. He'll go when you give him the push, but you need to wait a few more years, you will have his son, but he doesn't get any better sorry. Stay away from his brother and ANY of his mates, they'll almost destroy the most precious people you love. You ARE strong enough to cope.

Stop hating yourself so much. Try to have confidence in yourself as its holding you back from even trying your best.

Stop worrying about what people think so much and stop trying to impress people. You will just screw things up doing this.

Eat something. You are beautiful but too thin. You are also too young for this volatile relationship.

Cherish your youth.

Don't marry the boyfriend. He's a controlling, manipulative, lying arsehole who will make the next 12 years a misery.

Your 20s will be FUN. But at 30, you should probably get a proper job.

And stop smoking!!

It honestly will be better than you ever thought possible. Hang in there.

Stop chasing guys, if they want you enough they will come for you.

Don't think you should be grateful for any attention a man pays to you.

Nothing. My life has been pretty good since 20. Disclaimer - that was only 4 years ago.

18 however.. "don't go back to that loser, you could tell he was abusive at 13 and he damn well hasn't changed."

It'll all be ok. Try not to worry so much.

I'm taking this a bit seriously in that I don't want to say anything that might jeapordise the timeline

Travel. Everywhere. Go and see the world and met people and learn. That'll provide some perspective.

And stop being scared of money.

And grow up!!!!

Travel, travel, travel.

Don't get involved with him again. Run. Run fast and run far and don't ever look back. He will open a whole world of hurt for you and more importantly your babies.

You do want a child- don't leave it too late.
I was adamant I didn't want kids and it took me until 32 to realise I did. We eventually had DS but it might have been an easier process at a younger age.

Nothing - I did pretty well I spent my 20s having a great career and travelling the world, sipping tea in the highlands of Sri Lanka, Scuba diving in the Seychelles, Eating clam chowder in San Francisco, partying in Thailand, buying silk in Bali.

Don't buy it. It will lead to a whole life that you never expected, and now you're wondering why you got involved in the first place and trying to figure out why you wasted the last 16 years of your life and you're looking for an exit strategy.

Go overseas. Leave. Never look back.