To be annoyed my boys were told to 'scream like a girl' in an emergency?

[Kitsandkids]

My 2 boys went on a visit to a fire station this week with their Beaver group. Twice since then I have heard them talking about 'screaming like a girl' and then giggling about it.

This morning my 7 year old said that if there's a fire you have to scream like a girl. I asked him who had told him that, thinking it might have come from one of the other children, but he was adamant that a fireman told the group this. That if there's an emergency they should scream like a girl to attract someone's attention.

This has annoyed me a fair bit but I don't know if I'm over thinking it. To me it seems to be degrading to girls. Apart from anything else, my 2 scream a lot themselves - I'm always telling them not to scream if they see a bee, or get to the top of a climbing frame and can't work out how to get down. So it annoyed me a bit that they have been giggling over having to scream 'like a girl' when they probably scream more than lots of girls!

AIBU or would it annoy you to have your kids told this? I do understand that the fireman had to keep the attention of lots of excited kids but I think he could have worded it better.

happy and yes that is also inappropriate to say that to a man. Gender does not need to come into this.

Agree that I'm astounded people think this is ok. It's the casual sexism that lets the bigger stuff still go on.

purple police officer is fine. Their gender does not dictate the roles they carry out. Male and female police officers carry the same responsibilities on duty.

Do raise my eyebrows a bit at 'male nurse' though. Er, really?! How odd that his gender should be mentioned at the fore Sorry for derail

How on earth did I forget police officer? Insomnia does funny things to the brain. Thank you!

I don't hear it as degrading.

Girls have higher pitched voices. If they can scream louder & in a more piercing way, all the better. Sounds great to me, not weak or defenceless.

Everyday unthinking sexism.
But not as bad as the beaver leader who casually walked past my cub pack who were learning to vacuum and make hot drinks and asked 'wot you lot doing all that 'woman's stuff' for?'

YANBU.

lljkk young boys have high pitched voices too (think of all the choir boys). That comment would really only make sense to a much older group. For seven year olds, 'scream as loud as you can' works just as well. In fact for anyone really, because there's not much point telling people to do something that they can't actually do (going with your only girls can scream high rationale).

When my DCs did a CAP (child assault prevention) workshop at school, the trainers actually told them NOT to use high pitched screams, because children tend to scream when they are playing or excited etc. and others might not register that the child was in danger. The kids were told to practice bellowing, using their stomachs, to make a lower louder sound that would attract more attention. When the trainers demonstrated it and then got all the children to bellow, it was amazing how forceful and noticeable it was! The kids were about 10 years old at the time

Of course it's degrading.

Scream/yell as loud as you can, is perfect
Y adequate.

Perfectly adequate.

Police officer
Fire fighter
Nurse
Actor
Paramedic
Parent

Gender neutral words are all there to be used. Often it is just a matter of changing habits.

I do think the firefighter was going down an age old path and probably thought he was somehow connecting with the boys with his "hilarious" metaphor. If you had made him aware he might not have done it again. What he said was sexist.

The thing is you don't have to be an ogre sexist type to do this. My lovely male colleagues use "old woman " as a slur. It just rolls off their tongues after a lifetime of use. I call them on it every time. Head of PTA wanted to ask for some dads to build something. How about asking for a PARENT to help I suggest? Oh yes she blushes.

It's all there embedded in society but I just call it where I see it. Raise awareness little by little. Imagine if we all did that? Eventually we will embed something new.

YANBU. I personally wouldn't do anything about it (other than correct my DC) but it would annoy me.

becool a friend forwarded me an invite from her son's primary school asking for dads and grandad's to come and talk to them about their jobs in science and engineering. I actually wrote to the school to register my disappointment that this idea myth was being perpetuated. Never heard back

That's so shocking lastnight ! Your friend should raise it again, there is no way schools are allowed to do that, they have a public sector equality duty.

I vaguely remember being at school and the boys being told that they should scream "like a girl" if they were ever attacked and needed help because people are more likely to come running to help if they hear a woman's scream than a man as male screams often make people just run away.......
Clutching at straws maybe but could this be something similar? If not then I agree that this is not on

Whilst 8 year old boys and girls screams sound pretty similar, in 5 years time your child will be far more independent, probably far less supervised, and far more likely to get themselves into trouble playing around with matches or lighters. If my child ever got into trouble as a teenager I would much prefer they remember to scream 'like a girl' ie high pitched and loud, rather than try and attract attention by shouting which I suspect they would naturally do, and which would certainly not attract as much attention.

Given a choice, I'd take a mild suggestion of sexism (that made an impact so will probably always be remembered) over a politically correct (but forgotten) message.

I also wonder if this complaint ever got back to the fireman whether he would be quite so keen to give up time to speak to beaver groups in future?

Actually, I've heard that shouting and also using a word like 'fire' is more helpful as shrieking can be quite commonplace as can shouting for help. 'Fire' gets a much better response.

vashta love the name Do you know, I hadn't thought about that part of it but you're totally right! Friend wanted to send me in lieu of relative, to try and redress the balance.

maybe he won't give up his time to speak to groups

It will be part of his job! If he doesn't want to address his embedded sexism that's a shame. Better someone else who has some actual awareness of the modern world does the group educational talks then.

doodle do you plan to ignore everyday sexism your entire life?
Do you have daughters?

channeling the scenario you describe is a great example of how sexism damages both men and women, girls and boys.

I prefer to try and change things rather than perpetuate the sexist status quo.

YANBU

However, whenever "like a girl" comes up with dd, I always remind her that she can out run all the boys in her class and that the 3rd fastest swimmer in the year is faster than the fastest boy....so "like a girl" doesn't really have the same effect on her, hopefully.

3rd fastest swimmer in the year is a girl.....

Before you even get onto the sexism, it was bad advice. Screaming and yelling when you are a small child is often ignored because it's what small children playing do. As another person has said, my children were taught by the fire safety people that they should specifically yell "help, fire" as loudly and clearly as they can (and a high pitched shriek isn't going to help those words sound clear and carry).

But in terms of the sexism. It depresses me how much people bend over backwards to justify unthinking day-to-day sexism. As evidenced by the children's reaction, the understanding that they have come away with isn't that, in a fire situation, they should do a high pitched scream like a girl (which is actually a high pitched scream like a small child. Because the voices of boys and girls are the bloody same). It's that girls screams are funny. That doing things 'like a girl' is a bit of a joke.

In a society where men are told that they throw 'like a girl' or run 'like a girl'. In a society where the feminine ( whether the big things like the value of overwhelmingly female occupations like nursing or teaching, or the little things like the value of crafting hobbies or whether it is silly to like pink) in routinely considered 'lesser'. It isn't ok to do this. Reaching for a lazy societal stereotype to make your point is not ok. It is damaging and wrong.

Honestly, yes, I would be 'that parent' and I would follow it up.

"Like a girl" is never a compliment.

And for whoever mentioned "grow a pair" - it's a horrible expression, but it always means show more confidence, be stronger and more assertive. And is frequently addressed to women............