To be annoyed my boys were told to 'scream like a girl' in an emergency?

[Kitsandkids]

My 2 boys went on a visit to a fire station this week with their Beaver group. Twice since then I have heard them talking about 'screaming like a girl' and then giggling about it.

This morning my 7 year old said that if there's a fire you have to scream like a girl. I asked him who had told him that, thinking it might have come from one of the other children, but he was adamant that a fireman told the group this. That if there's an emergency they should scream like a girl to attract someone's attention.

This has annoyed me a fair bit but I don't know if I'm over thinking it. To me it seems to be degrading to girls. Apart from anything else, my 2 scream a lot themselves - I'm always telling them not to scream if they see a bee, or get to the top of a climbing frame and can't work out how to get down. So it annoyed me a bit that they have been giggling over having to scream 'like a girl' when they probably scream more than lots of girls!

AIBU or would it annoy you to have your kids told this? I do understand that the fireman had to keep the attention of lots of excited kids but I think he could have worded it better.

[TooOldForGlitter]

Then think how derogatory it is to tell a group of children to scream like a girl. All children under say, 9 or 10? scream the same. I know I can't determine between male or female screams at that age. Scream like a girl really just means be shrill and shrieky, like a silly hysterical female. I'm amazed anyone could defend it as anything other.

[TooOldForGlitter]

Not to mention that screaming is much more likely to be ignored because kids scream all the time.

[BeCool]

So if it's ok to say this because girls scream differently to boys, as so many people here are saying (and saying the OP is BU), what is the ACTUAL POINT in telling boys to scream like a girl? especially given that they scream differently.

Not only was the firefighters advice to these kids pretty rubbish, he tried to ingratiate himself to the boys using everyday sexism wrapped up as a "joke".

And many on this thread think that is ok!

It's not a matter of overthinking. It is about a refusal by so many to think about and question ingrained sexism at all.

[Bedsheets4knickers]

I wonder how many people have used the words man flu before ???? Anyone ??most?? I think so

[nooka]

Not me, I think it's a stupid sexist term. When dh or ds get ill they get ill. ds, like me, goes even more pale, goes very listless and stops eating. dh burns up like crazy. dd is just miserable.

The male members of the family don't get 'fake' illnesses any more than the female ones.

[TooOldForGlitter]

I've never said man flu. It's a silly sexist term meant to insinuate that a man with a cold behaves as if he's dieing. None of the men in my life do this.

[TooOldForGlitter]

Nicely put BeCool

[Laladeepsouth]

"Scream like a girl" indicates full on, high-pitched screaming. Nothing wrong with that. The firefighter was simply using a well-understood expression to make a point, and he probably speaks to many different age groups. Boys/men are ridiculed for high pitched shrieks or screams in RL and so begin to suppress screaming in surprise or for help --that might be the only actual sexist subtext here.

[TooOldForGlitter]

If boys/men are ridiculed for high pitched screaming, that to you is how females sound, why are they being ridiculed for it? Because to sound female if in possession of a penis is ridiculous? You just made the point.

[Redglitter]

just as an aside to an earlier comment these tours etc aren't part of a firefighters job. My brother does them and school/organisation visits but he does them on his day off and gets the hours credited to him. I'd be horrified if I thought he was using terms like that but by the same token I think if a complaint was made about him he'd probably just stop doing the visits.

[Laladeepsouth]

My goodness I must be ill-informed to have believed all this time that most females actually have higher pitched voices than most males. Men AND women ridicule males (quite unfairly, of course) starting with the voice-breaking scenario during puberty -- who don't sound like the norm for males, not because they sound like women, specifically. The expression "scream like a girl" is a pretty valid figure of speech, in this case, and is not the same thing as saying "THINK like a girl" or "ACT like a girl." For little boys who might have been confused, it would be, I think, simple to explain the reason for the expression. I just couldn't imagine the benefit in making a complaint in this particular case about the firefigher's choice of words.

But, hey, thanks for dragging in the obligatory accusations and "You proved the point" and the nether parts imagery. I understand the point; I just don't think in this case that it's completely applicable. And, once again, I thought we were giving the OP our own opinions about this matter.

[funnyossity]

I still come back to my own experience which is at Beaver age, 7, the boys I know still squeal and scream with a sound no different to the girls. I can't tell boys and girls apart speaking on the phone either.

Socialisation will be kicking in if adults let half of kids off for squealing but tell the other half it's sooo embarrassing.

[BertrandRussell]

"I'd be horrified if I thought he was using terms like that but by the same token I think if a complaint was made about him he'd probably just stop doing the visits."

Really? You don't think that if it was pointed out to him he'd just say "Oh, I hadn't thought of that- you're right, I won't say that any more"?

[PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom]

No it doesn't. They are small boys. They can just scream and it will be high pitched!

[BertrandRussell]

"........like a girl" is never a compliment."

Repeat to fade.

[BertrandRussell]

Why would the OP's boys have been giggling over it, then, If it's just a basic statement of fact?

[Devora]

Not much left to be said on this slightly depressing thread, except perhaps this: the point of this advice, surely, is to get kids to raise attention as quickly as possible. Which means NOT taking time to get them to think, "Now let me think, how is it I'm meant to scream? Oh yes, like a girl. And how do girls scream? Well, a little more high pitched than boys - after puberty, anyway - so let's practise raising my pitch a little." The message is: scream, shout, holler, do everything you can to get attention.

If there is a particular way of screaming/shouting that is more effective, then it would be a good idea for the firefighter to demonstrate it, and get the children to practise it, rather than labelling it as 'girl' attributes. In fact, labelling it as 'girl' screaming is more likely to discourage the boys from doing it.

So those posters who suggested that a little sexism will help save lives are way off the mark. The firefighter will benefit from thoughtful feedback that will help him to improve the way he carries out his excellent work.

[Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost]

I don't think he (fireman)meant to cause any upset It's called having a sense of humour and bantering, and it's sadly lacking these days! People look for offensive elements in everything. There is no need for if. The world has well and truly cracked it's face.
Your ds sounds like he had a great time on a educational day out, and he doesn't seem phased by it.
Oh and if it matters I have a girl!

[BertrandRussell]

1. Nobody has said anything about being offended.
   
2. "yes, repeat anythng 'like a girl' is derogatory and sexist if you must,, but it isn't. Its all about context and intent." No it isn't. As your HR manager I you are in any doubt. He or she will explain.
   3)"I have a senior post in a male dominated profession and I certainly don't tolerate sexism" Well you are here, so presumably you do in other cases too?

[IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou]

He should have just said "scream like you're on fire", that'd cover it....