To be annoyed my boys were told to 'scream like a girl' in an emergency?

[Kitsandkids]

My 2 boys went on a visit to a fire station this week with their Beaver group. Twice since then I have heard them talking about 'screaming like a girl' and then giggling about it.

This morning my 7 year old said that if there's a fire you have to scream like a girl. I asked him who had told him that, thinking it might have come from one of the other children, but he was adamant that a fireman told the group this. That if there's an emergency they should scream like a girl to attract someone's attention.

This has annoyed me a fair bit but I don't know if I'm over thinking it. To me it seems to be degrading to girls. Apart from anything else, my 2 scream a lot themselves - I'm always telling them not to scream if they see a bee, or get to the top of a climbing frame and can't work out how to get down. So it annoyed me a bit that they have been giggling over having to scream 'like a girl' when they probably scream more than lots of girls!

AIBU or would it annoy you to have your kids told this? I do understand that the fireman had to keep the attention of lots of excited kids but I think he could have worded it better.

[AlternativeTentacles]

As a 'scream' is in itself a loud high pitched noise to alert others there is no need to say 'like a girl' after it.

I'd definitely chase this up. What do they mean 'like a girl' exactly? What is the difference between a girl's screams and a boy's screams? Bearing in mind both are high pitched noises to alert others.

I detest screaming. From boys and girls. I get this when taking kids around gardens - when they see a spider. I tell them they do not have to scream when they see one, they can just say 'ooh, there is a spider'. There is no need to scream about it - its not an emergency, they are not in pain. Totally ridiculous.

[Kitsandkids]

Thanks for the responses. Glad the majority think I'm not BU for being bothered by it.

Sorry I used fireman. I thought that was an accepted word if a fire fighter was known to be male. But I will stick to fire fighter in future.

I would challenge anyone who thinks a 7 year old girl can scream in a higher pitched voice than my 7 year old boy to come and meet him! He has a very high pitched voice anyway (we've had his hearing checked because that can be a sign of hearing loss) and his screams are very high indeed. I would say that his voice is higher than the girls in his class. When he screams accompanied with a shout for help I can't understand what he's saying, so being taught to shout, rather than scream, 'fire' would have been more useful I think.

[LoxleyBarrett]

I've asked DH about this. He said they tell children to make as much noise as possible. Screaming is more likely to be heard as sound is distorted due to helmets and the noise of a fire.

He also said that the reality is that one or two lungful of smoke is enough to kill and he imagines you wouldn't want that pointing out to your child.

He also said that although groups visits are a part of community fire safety they are pretty easy to refuse due to other commitments.

[BertrandRussell]

"He also said that although groups visits are a part of community fire safety they are pretty easy to refuse due to other commitments."

Do they get any training?

[LoxleyBarrett]

No they just make it up as the my go along Bertrand!?

The reality is is that there are usually one or two firefighters on an watch who enjoy doing the visits and usually have young children themselves. He said that he would deal with a complaint appropriately, but he imagines that future visits would be rather formal for fear of offending someone.

[SeriouslyIRegisteredtoAskThis]

Scream like a girl means

Make a very loud HIGHPITCHED noise. Very hard to ignore. Boys tend not to scream in a way that makes your teeth bleed due to their slightly lower pitch.

I'm currently a beach with a whole heap of screaming over excitable children. The only ones who are making wince are girls because of the pitch they shriek at yes I know the water is fucking cold it's May in the UK.

So no I wouldn't think "like a girl" is a derogatory statement here. It means make such a god awful noise that you seriously reaching for the gin by 10.

[SeriouslyIRegisteredtoAskThis]

Dear god it is only 9.

[YAsoNBU]

Can I just point out that Scouts, including Beavers, accept girls, so it would not be beyond the bounds of possibility that there were girls present.

I think it sends a terrible message, and would hate to think that the Beaver group my son and daughter attend would be happy to let slide such a belittlement of one third of their members.

[BertrandRussell]

"So no I wouldn't think "like a girl" is a derogatory statement here."

Oh, of course it was! When is "like a girl" ever a compliment??

[BertrandRussell]

It's 9.00 on a chilly Sunday and you're on the beach??????????? I hope you've got a hip Thermos flask.............

[Spanielsarecool1]

Oh my goodness do people really care about stuff like this - why on earth would you think of reporting the fireman / person whatever the correct term is. Wow people seem to over analysis a lot. Girls do scream higher though don't they or am I sexist and missing the point.
I wouldn't even give it a second thought...

[SeriouslyIRegisteredtoAskThis]

When you make it one.

If the OP were to point out to her son's that they could not (in all likelihood) scream as loud as a girl (based on the sample size* in front of me). Then they wouldn't think of it as negative. However the firefighter meant it.

*i'm going to have a chat with one particular darling in a minute as seagulls are failing out of the sky.

[BertrandRussell]

"am I sexist and missing the point."

Well, if the cap fits...............

[SeriouslyIRegisteredtoAskThis]

I am waiting for the cafe pub to open.

[PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom]

Like a girl is never a compliment. It is never merely factual. It is loaded and that is precisely the reason the trainer used it. And precisely why he shouldn't have done.

[Everythingsgonegreen]

Think some of you are getting your knickers in a twist.

Attempted abduction, house fire, emergency,

Scream like a girl - kids remember that.

[OrlandoWoolf]

My DS (9) might have asked what does a girl scream like?

Or he might have asked why a "girl scream" is more effective than a "boy scream" ?

He's very aware of sexism. It's just stereotyping. "Run like a girl, throw like a girl". If someone says to a boy that they "run / throw like a girl", they are not trying to be complimentary. Even though girls can do things like that just as well as boys.

Scream really loudly. That's all they needed to say.

[OrlandoWoolf]

Attempted abduction, house fire, emergency - Scream like a girl - kids remember that

What should a girl do? Scream like a girl as well?

Or just scream?

[malefridgeblindness]

It's a sexist phrase.

And it's a life-or-death situation.

Yes, it's bad to use a sexist phrase. No, I wouldn't get het up about it if it was going to save my children's lives.

[PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom]

It isn't going to save a life ffs. No one has given any evidence that training in a non sexist way would be less effective. Show that, and the point might be valid.

[BertrandRussell]

"And it's a life-or-death situation."

In which your son is thinking hang on, how do girls scream?

As an aside my politically aware smart arse Ds and his friends went through a phase of shouting "that's so gay!" when anyone did something particularly amazing at sport. Confuse the hell out of some of their peers, that did!

[OrlandoWoolf]

malefridgeblindness


It's a sexist phrase - love the irony of that phrase and your username

[gamerchick]

Man I wish I had the luxury to be bothered

I don't know about anybody else but if I hear kids screams where there's a fire I would hope I would join the dots up right.

If I was wearing all that kit the fire bods wear, I think I would prefer screaming.

[malefridgeblindness]

OrlandoWoolf what does my username refer to, then?

[TTWK]

And for whoever mentioned "grow a pair" - it's a horrible expression, but it always means show more confidence, be stronger and more assertive. And is frequently addressed to women...........

Yes, but isn't the root of the phrase about being more manly. Because apparently men are confident and strong and women aren't?

I can't see it's any less demeaning than "like a girl".

It's very sad that "he needs to grow a pair" is often used by women to men who they perceive to be weak, and often on MN.