To be annoyed my boys were told to 'scream like a girl' in an emergency?

[Kitsandkids]

My 2 boys went on a visit to a fire station this week with their Beaver group. Twice since then I have heard them talking about 'screaming like a girl' and then giggling about it.

This morning my 7 year old said that if there's a fire you have to scream like a girl. I asked him who had told him that, thinking it might have come from one of the other children, but he was adamant that a fireman told the group this. That if there's an emergency they should scream like a girl to attract someone's attention.

This has annoyed me a fair bit but I don't know if I'm over thinking it. To me it seems to be degrading to girls. Apart from anything else, my 2 scream a lot themselves - I'm always telling them not to scream if they see a bee, or get to the top of a climbing frame and can't work out how to get down. So it annoyed me a bit that they have been giggling over having to scream 'like a girl' when they probably scream more than lots of girls!

AIBU or would it annoy you to have your kids told this? I do understand that the fireman had to keep the attention of lots of excited kids but I think he could have worded it better.

[Zipitydooda]

I think it refers to the pitch of a girls scream as opposed to a mans or woman's. Not that relevant to boys maybe who still have high pitched screams but it emphasises the penetrating nature of such screams rather than anything derogatory.

[BertrandRussell]

"I don't think it's an insult to say scream like a girl."

Well it's certainly an insult to say do anything else like a girl...........

[LoxleyBarrett]

I think they are looking at when a child is trapped and the fire service are trying to find them Whirlpool. DH says that it is very difficult to hear with Flames around you and a helmet on - the louder the better.

They start with a lecture about safety, smoke alarms, escape plans etc but they have to cover the "what if..."

[Gottagetmoving]

Withholding emotion is not a strength. Just because some consider expressing emotion is weak doesn't mean we have to believe it or take notice. We need to learn to control how we deal with emotions and not overreact but that doesn't mean suppressing emotions.
If someone says scream like a girl then the best way to deal with that is take it as a positive. The more you are not offended and the more you show you don't see it as a weakness,...the less it can be used as an 'insult'
If the intention is to insult then it falls a bit flat if you are not insulted by it.

[2boys2girls]

Think its over thinking as we all say things like that don't we?
"You're like a couple of old women"
"You're like a little old man"
"Proper little tom boy".
Agreed some are a bit below the belt
" big girls blouse "
"Cry like a baby"
Things shouldn't be taken so to heart really ... Just be calm as a cucumber...
Poor cucumber how dare we assume all quiet, get the pc police out now

[WhirlpoolGalaxyM51]

That makes a little more sense.

Does your dh advise screaming rather than shouting. Should adults try to scream or is shouting OK for them?

Ask your dh if the advice is to "scream like a girl"!!

[WhirlpoolGalaxyM51]

What about all that inhaling though, screaming means massive inhales, so is it always the right thing to do, what if there's lots of smoke won't it make you pass out quicker? I seen to remember something about getting on the ground and taking shallow breaths?

[Allisgood1]

YABU. I think you are just way overthinking it. Girls have a very certain high pitched scream (or maybe it's just my two!!) that will get anyone's attention. My boy doesn't.

[Hottypotty]

Well at school we were taught that if we were ever attacked then instead of screaming, we should make a honking sound as it was more distinctive and would raise the alarm better than a scream which may be dismissed as girls messing around.

I've never heard this advice since and thankfully have never had need to use it but am curious to know if anyone else has ever heard this!

[WhirlpoolGalaxyM51]

This is young children were taking about gottage. They won't be offended or not offended they will simply adsorb the mesages given to them. Do "x" like a girl is rarely a compliment or positive.

[BertrandRussell]

2boys2girls. Happy to "overthink" all those others for you too.........

[westcountrywoman]

I'd be fine with it. For the age-group this message was aimed at (? 6-8 year olds) a bit of humour is necessary to help them to remember important messages. Like it or not, a lot of children of this age like to wind up / compete with the opposite sex and so this is a funny comment that they will relate to and hopefully remember should they unfortunately be faced with a terrible situation.

If he'd made reference to getting the girls to wash dishes or the boys to wash cars, however, I'd be a bit miffed.

[WhirlpoolGalaxyM51]

Why is it a funny comment?

[BertrandRussell]

So is it Ok for a football coach to say "You're kicking like a girl?"

[MrsKCastle]

I can't believe how many people think this is ok. It's bloody depressing. I worry for my daughters.

[LinkDat]

YANBU. I hate this turn of phrase. My son could shatter glass with his high pitched scream. My daughter tends to shout vaguely. Why didn't they just advise the children to scream as high and loud as possible rather than use that wording to explain it? Obviously not done with any sort of intention but it's all too common.

[Gottagetmoving]

whirlpool What message? The kids will not think it's an insult to girls. They will think what they already know,..Girls scream louder and more shrill and that's the type of scream required!
If you look hard enough you will find something to be offended by in almost anything.
The only 'message' that instructor was giving was a safety message. I doubt he thought it was an opportunity to have a dig at girls.

[Samcro]

yabu
have you ever heard a girl scream

[PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom]

They clearly do recognise the derogatory message about girls, or they wouldn't now be giggling about how funny it is to scream like a girl.

[Pud2]

There are bigger things in life to worry about IMO. Ok, maybe it's seen as inappropriate in this day and age but I'm sure he didn't mean any offence and I don't think it will do any long term damage!

[WhirlpoolGalaxyM51]

One poster has said that the children would have found it funny so that's not a straight safety message is it.

Also, the Op hasn't said whether it was to a single sex or mixed group.

If it was to a single sex group then I guess it's an attempt to indulge in some male bonding over how girls are a bit crap, to provide some light relief as PP said.

If it's to a mixed group then the male instructor is addressing the boys only.

I mean it's shit.

I also still think it's peculiar advice. Young children have pretty similar voice boxes, I think, so screaming is screaming. Older children, neither the boys or the girls are going to be able to produce that sound, least not the boys. Neither I nor DH can "scream like a girl".

So why advise something that the younger children of both sexes will do anyway in the advice "scream as loud as you can" and the older children won't really be able to do at all.

Also what about the whole massive intakes of breath needed to scream as opposed to making whatever sound comes naturally to you to make loudest - so for many people that will be a shout.

It all seems really odd. And this is all on the assumption that it was to do with if they're trapped in a burning building - we don't actually know what this advice came up around.

[LynetteScavo]

I would take it the firefighter meant girls are better at screaming than boys. In my experience they are, and seem to enjoy it more than boys.

There's usually loads of screaming by girls when they're hyped up at birthday parties or boy band concerts.

[WhirlpoolGalaxyM51]

One of the local fire services has this to say:

"If you are trapped within a burning building with no means of escape you should:

Call 999 if you have a mobile or it is safe to reach a landline. A control operator will stay on the phone to you until firefighters arrive.

Keep low to the ground as smoke rises.

Try to go to a room facing the road.

Close the doors to the room you are in and use towels or bedding to block gaps around the door - this will help stop smoke entering the room.

Go to a window and shout to attract attention.

If you are in immediate danger and need to get out of the building, drop cushions or bedding to the ground to break your fall.

Get out feet first and lower yourself to the full extent of your arms. Then drop to the ground, do not jump"

I am really unsure about how the screaming (huge intakes of breath) ties in with what I have always heard about the biggest danger being smoke.

Anyway. I'm not fire safety expert But I really think this advice is bizarre. What's wrong with "make as much noise as you can - shout, scream, bang things on the furniture, hit the windows" or something.

[OrlandoWoolf]

I don't think it's sexist in this context - I'm sure children know that girls tend to have different scream to a boy.

However - "like a girl" is used to put boys down a lot. To imply that they are not "manly"or are not doing things as well as other boys.

It's all part of the message boys get that boys are "better than girls" and that if you don't do something well that is physical - you are not a boy.

Boys don't cry. Man up. Stop being a big girl's blouse. "He's a typical boy" etc. Girls hear these things as well.