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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want these people invited to the meal?

216 replies

hangoversally · 20/05/2015 22:59

I worked in a team last year and we were really close and always had a laugh together.

It wasn't a great job though so eventually we have all left now. It's been a year since we all met up as a group as one of them went travelling and so did I.

We finally settled on a date for our team night reunion. I was then told that two other people were invited. They worked in the same building but I barely knew them. Up until that point it was always just our team who were going.

Aibu to feel a little annoyed?

OP posts:
PrivatePike · 21/05/2015 10:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pippa12 · 21/05/2015 11:12

Your just being a very young 24 Grin

TedAndLola · 21/05/2015 11:19

It bloody does. It's immature. The sort of behaviour that should be left in the schoolyard. Although in fairness most 24 year olds I know would be far too mature and sensible to get upset over something silly.

It bloody doesn't. 24 year olds don't go to the 'schoolyard'. You're being as ridiculous as the OP.

chaletdays · 21/05/2015 11:23

Well I don't think you're being unreasonable. It's annoying if someone decides to change the dynamic of an evening by inviting along extras who some people in the group don't know. Particularly if you only meet up very occasionally for a nostalgic catch up.

LineRunner · 21/05/2015 11:34

I wonder who invited them.

Is anyone else wondering who invited them?

Lweji · 21/05/2015 11:35

Everybody is wondering who invited them and why, and about the size of the party.
Something tells me we will never find out, though.

LineRunner · 21/05/2015 11:37

If it's anywhere near me, I might pop along.

PrivatePike · 21/05/2015 11:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DejaVuAllOverAgain · 21/05/2015 12:04

I'm not entirely sure why you're getting such a hard time either.

It's like organising a class reunion and then someone inviting two people from a different school/year along or arranging a girl's night out with your friends and then one bringing their DP. It does change the dynamic, especially if it's a catch up with people who you haven't seen in a while.

However, they've been invited now so I think you'll either have to suck it up or not go. I'd advise the former, you may find it's not as bad as you think it may be.

00100001 · 21/05/2015 12:12

I think you are being a bit unreasonable to say who and shouldn't go to this team meal.

You are not being unreasonable for being a bit Hmm as to why the people were invited.

But, you are being unreasonable if you assume the presence of these two people will ruin your evening.

It would be possible to spend the whole night speaking only to your team and not say anything more than 'hello, how are you' to these two people.

Also, you could organise another meal with just the original team yourself. It is quite unreasonable to make demands when you haven't organised it yourself.

I really can't see the issue of these two people being there... Confused

Aermingers · 21/05/2015 12:39

I didn't say 24 year olds did go to the schoolyard. I said this sort of behaviour belongs there.

Are we all supposed to behave that people of different ages behave in exactly the same way then? Because somebody on Mumsnet has decided that it's an 'ism'? Teenagers and young adults are much more likely to get hung up on who is and isn't in their 'group' and who has a right to be where. Although admittedly there are quite a few immature adults who behave in the same way. But this sort of behaviour is immature. Probably because the OP is very young. Claiming they it isn't is looking for an 'ism' where there 'isn't' one.

The5DayChicken · 21/05/2015 12:41

Are there other stereotypes you use as tools to explain people's behaviour Aermingers?

TheRealMaryMillington · 21/05/2015 12:45

OP, I think some people are being a bit rude to you, (but you are being unreasonable)

I get it, you wanted to go out with your idea of the team, but maybe other people's idea of who the team is is different.

ike and whose judgement you value, probably they will only have extended the invitation to people nice people who you will probably also like.

Go, see your friends, have fun.

chaletdays · 21/05/2015 12:46

I don't think it's immature to resent what was meant to be a get together for a specific group who haven't seen each other in ages, being extended by some individual to include extras who aren't known to some of the group. I think people of all ages can find that annoying. In fact, there has frequently been threads on that subject before which have received wide agreement.

PrivatePike · 21/05/2015 12:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ApocalypseThen · 21/05/2015 14:25

Well I'm going and I'm a total pain in the arse. Look forward to seeing you, OP! Go Team Hula Hoops!

CamelliaA · 21/05/2015 18:52

You're limiting your life experiences OP. Stop it now,because they'll get smaller the older you get. Embrace being only 24.

LineRunner · 21/05/2015 18:54

Or you could sit there like Nikki Grahame pointing at one of the interlopers shrieking, 'Who IS she?'

I'll do it for you if you like. I've always wanted to do that.

Original poster
hangoversally · 21/05/2015 19:05

You're limiting your life experiences OP. Stop it now,because they'll get smaller the older you get. Embrace being only 24.

Eh? Bit overboard. I have loads of friends, have done lots of travelling, graduated, socialise a minimum of twice a week.

Yet I'm limiting my life experience because I'd rather have the evening catching up with my old team and not added people ... Erm .,,, ok

Well I'll do a sky dive on Monday to make up for it then.

OP posts:
LineRunner · 21/05/2015 19:10

I'd love to go out for a drink with you. No skydiving though.

TedAndLola · 21/05/2015 19:10

I didn't say 24 year olds did go to the schoolyard. I said this sort of behaviour belongs there.

Yes and you also said, or at least strongly implied, that the OP is showing "this sort of behaviour" because she is 24. You're not making any sense. Is she behaving like a school child or like a typical 24 year old?

SoldierBear · 21/05/2015 19:14

You barely knew these people - but what about the rest of the former team? Presumably at least one of them knew them well?
What is happening on this night out anyway? is it drinks, a meal, clubbing?

I'm not sure why you think the presence of these people will impact negatively on you.

CactusAnnie · 21/05/2015 19:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SpringBreaker · 21/05/2015 19:16

I would say it depends on how many are in this team. An extra 2 people to a groups of 3 people would change the dynamic, especially if one of the team is shy and uncomfortable with making small talk with strangers, but if its a team of 6 or more, then two extra wouldnt make a difference.

CamelliaA · 21/05/2015 19:18

Add people to your life,every time. People are fab Smile

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