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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be offended by the insinuations nursery were making.

264 replies

OliviaJ · 20/05/2015 17:34

Basically my ds age 4 attends a nursery attached to a school although come September he'll e starting reception at a completely different school. Yesterday my ds's one to one practically throws a form in my hand telling me i must fill it in and return it ASAP. I asked her what it was regarding (didn't have the chance to look as ds was throwing a huge tantrum) and she said oh it's just to do with some funding the school can claim for some children.

So I get home and have a look at it and it's regarding this supsedly new early years premium that the government are allowing schools to claim. It asked for the usual, ie name address, but then went on to ask for mine and dh's national insurance number and then if our income was below £16000 and if so, did we claim JSA/IS/ESA etc etc.

Well to be fair I was a bit taken a back as to how intrusive it was and why Infact school wanted to kneel this information especially since in a few short weeks my ds will no longer be there. The form then goes on to mention that it is a proven that chidlren who are eligible for free school meals tend to be significantly behind educationally and my claiming this finding the school intends to close the gap between more affluent children.

Well for starters my children do not get free school meals, not have they ever done and me and dh do not get those types of benefits. I mean we get CB and CTC of £107 per month but that's about it. At first I was fuming actually that nursey dared to assume that we were firstly eligible for these benefits when they know us as a family (eldest two chidlren attended the school previously) and they know that dh works and secondly I'm annoyed at the insinuation that even if we did lain these benefits that my son would automatically be behind academically when in our family at least that would not happen as me and dh are very hands on with all of our children's educations. So today I asked the TA why she had given me this form when me and my dh don't claim benefits and our kfks are my on FSM and she became all awkward and just kind of shrugged it off! So AIBU to be a bit annoyed?

OP posts:
Original poster
OliviaJ · 20/05/2015 20:00

And if you were to bother to read the thread from the beginning you would have seen me apologising for my multiple typos. Sorry to disappoint you but they aren't your typical grammatical errors, I simply have a brand new phone that I can't get to grips with, sorry!

OP posts:
Waffles80 · 20/05/2015 20:02

Would of / would have = not a typo, but grammatical ignorance.

Which is irrelevant, really. Whether you can spell or not you're still a horrible, horrible snob.

FarFromAnyRoad · 20/05/2015 20:02

Oh dear. Have you got a 'poor' phone? Doesn't it have the letters that type out H A V E? I'm embarrassed for you really.
I have read the thread from the beginning which is why I have this nasty taste in my mouth and an increasing sense of despair that you might be real. I'm hoping you're not.

Rouncey · 20/05/2015 20:03

You are coming over as such an ignorant snob, OJ. Please stop judging people who are on benefits as layabouts.
You weren't singled out. Everyone got the letter.
You are very lucky the nursery has got so far with your son's statement already. It's a tricky business.
£300 is a lot of money for a school. The money is for now, not next year. A school can do a huge amount with that.
Get over yourself and stop being so up your arse.

OurGlass · 20/05/2015 20:05

Goady cunt Grin not heard that before!

pissedglitter · 20/05/2015 20:05

Does your phone claim free school meals?

BaronessEllaSaturday · 20/05/2015 20:06

I get it now, you are the deserving poor or at least in your own mind, personally i can't be bothered to judge I'd much rather everyone had enough without trying to decide whether they actually deserve it or not.

Feminine · 20/05/2015 20:06

You need some of these though olivia

, , , ,

TheoriginalLEM · 20/05/2015 20:06

oh keep them coming op!! your posts are priceless

SuburbanRhonda · 20/05/2015 20:07

You have no problem claiming benefits you're entitled to.

People on benefits have no problem claiming benefits they're entitled to.

There is no difference between you, no matter how much you wish there were.

Tomfunsnumber1trolley · 20/05/2015 20:08

If it's anything like my son's nursery everyone has to fill it in. We pay them £700 pounds a month so I'm assuming they would know we're not entitled to anything and I certainly wasn't offended - why would I be? I haven't rtft so apologies if I've missed something.

PHANTOMnamechanger · 20/05/2015 20:09

OP, surely you are intelligent enough to realise that a) £300 is a lot of money in a school and b) them being able to claim multiple sets of £300 could do absolute wonders in terms of what they can provide for all pupils to benefit from

You are SO going to be "one of those parents"- we will have some poor reception teacher on here come the autumn, moaning their head off about you!

SuburbanRhonda · 20/05/2015 20:10

No, tom, you haven't missed anything.

The OP started out an arse and is still an arse, 7 pages on.

kinkyfuckery · 20/05/2015 20:12

If you know that £300 wouldn't go very far, why not just fill in the fucking form, as whilst it won't directly benefit your son, it'll benefit the next child who may need more than their £300 share?!

And 'would of' isn't a typo Wink

Tomfunsnumber1trolley · 20/05/2015 20:13

Haha, thought as much! The OP must have a lot of time on her hands if this is all she's got to moan about

TenerifeSea · 20/05/2015 20:19

"I have no problem at all with people claiming benefits or top ups if they genuinely need them. And for me and for a lot of other people having a disability is more deserving than say a woman who has a child every four/five years in order to stay at home on income support for as long as possible and not work."

It never takes long for the truth to come out.

SuburbanRhonda · 20/05/2015 20:24

OP, people who don't "genuinely need" benefits don't get them.

Why is that so hard for you to understand?

msgrinch · 20/05/2015 20:24

Someone on benefits, slating people on benefits.

cute.

DarylDixonsDarlin · 20/05/2015 20:26

Nice one OP, thanks for making me laugh this evening Grin

Our school practically begs parents to apply if they meet the criteria, so that school can access the Pupil Premium. There were barely any free school meals taken in the last few years at our school anyway from what I could gather, and with the infant free meals now it must be even less, which would explain why they are keen to round up any who may be able to claim. I sincerely hope our school hasn't lost out on any money because of it.

Your rudeness is astounding OliviaJ. YABsofuckingU. And a bit thick.

TheFairyCaravan · 20/05/2015 20:36

Yes we claim it, the first thing we have ever been entitled to and like I said this was only due to me having to go part time. Our eldest is turning 16 this year and we have never claimed a penny for her or for our middle child. My son has a disability so I have no problem claiming money that we are told we are entitled to claim, if he didn't have the problems he does then I'd still be working full time and still be entitled to bugger all and that would of been fine with me.

I'm really, really confused now. On Monday you said your eldest DD was in Yr6 last April. Now in my world you age by one year per year, not five! Hmm

kissmethere · 20/05/2015 20:37

OP read the title of your post, that says it all really...

Siennasun · 20/05/2015 20:49

So, OP is angry because school have given her a form, that was given to everyone, enquiring what benefits her family receive. Specifically she is offended that they may be insinuating that her family may be on benefits. They are on benefits.
Additionally she is angry with school that they have started the long and very time consuming statutory assessment process and have successfully secured funding for her child. He will be going to a new school for reception so current school will not benefit from the additional funding. During his nursery year the school have provided very costly 1:1 support for her child out of their general budget. This is not good enough for OP who will not be filling in the form out of spite, in case it should benefit the children of families who receive bad benefits, as opposed to the good benefits that OPs family get.
Her DS won't be having the FSM he's entitled to because unlike all the bad-benefit claiming poor children he won't eat pizza or chicken nuggets (think OP may have confused school dinners with wetherspoons' kids menu).
And OPs phone doesn't know the difference between 'have' and 'of'.
Shock Grin

TheForger · 20/05/2015 20:54

Re census day because your child isn't at his new school they won't get the cash either. A school getting PP payments for a child depends on the number of children who meet the requirements on that day. IF new children come or children leave in year it doesn't matter the school's funding doesn't change. Unfortunately your new school won't receive the benefit either.

I don't know why I'm engaging, just trying to set the record straight re funding. I think the school you are leaving are probably heaving a sigh of relief. She I read the title I assumed Nursey had insinuated that you were neglectful or something similar.

TheoriginalLEM · 20/05/2015 20:54

Yep Sienna, i think thats pretty much it!

carabos · 20/05/2015 20:55

Yes we claim it, the first thing we have ever been entitled to and like I said this was only due to me having to go part time. Our eldest is turning 16 this year and we have never claimed a penny for her or for our middle child. My son has a disability so I have no problem claiming money that we are told we are entitled to claim, if he didn't have the problems he does then I'd still be working full time and still be entitled to bugger all and that would of been fine with me.

So you're only claiming benefits because you have had to go part time as your DS has additional needs. Don't you realise that most other people who claim benefits are also only claiming because of some issue or challenge that limits their opportunitues to earn? If they didn't have the problems they do, they'd be working more hours and entitled to less. That's how the system works Confused.

I don't have children at school and even I knew that every small child receives FSM these days.

Here, have a bouquet of hyacinths. Flowers See what I did there?