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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be offended by the insinuations nursery were making.

264 replies

OliviaJ · 20/05/2015 17:34

Basically my ds age 4 attends a nursery attached to a school although come September he'll e starting reception at a completely different school. Yesterday my ds's one to one practically throws a form in my hand telling me i must fill it in and return it ASAP. I asked her what it was regarding (didn't have the chance to look as ds was throwing a huge tantrum) and she said oh it's just to do with some funding the school can claim for some children.

So I get home and have a look at it and it's regarding this supsedly new early years premium that the government are allowing schools to claim. It asked for the usual, ie name address, but then went on to ask for mine and dh's national insurance number and then if our income was below £16000 and if so, did we claim JSA/IS/ESA etc etc.

Well to be fair I was a bit taken a back as to how intrusive it was and why Infact school wanted to kneel this information especially since in a few short weeks my ds will no longer be there. The form then goes on to mention that it is a proven that chidlren who are eligible for free school meals tend to be significantly behind educationally and my claiming this finding the school intends to close the gap between more affluent children.

Well for starters my children do not get free school meals, not have they ever done and me and dh do not get those types of benefits. I mean we get CB and CTC of £107 per month but that's about it. At first I was fuming actually that nursey dared to assume that we were firstly eligible for these benefits when they know us as a family (eldest two chidlren attended the school previously) and they know that dh works and secondly I'm annoyed at the insinuation that even if we did lain these benefits that my son would automatically be behind academically when in our family at least that would not happen as me and dh are very hands on with all of our children's educations. So today I asked the TA why she had given me this form when me and my dh don't claim benefits and our kfks are my on FSM and she became all awkward and just kind of shrugged it off! So AIBU to be a bit annoyed?

OP posts:
Marynary · 21/05/2015 19:39

Marynary, how would you word that sentence, I'm curious to know?

I wouldn't put the sentance in at all. Why is it necessary to say say on the form that children on free school meals are likely to be behind educationally?

CultureSucksDownWords · 21/05/2015 19:44

It's on the govt issue pro forma which is why most schools have probably left the sentence on the form.

Really they should hand it out to everyone, perhaps with more bland phrasing so as not to offend or upset people. But fundamentally it's about getting more money for those who may need it - that's what the focus of these sorts of letters should be.

I hope anyone reading this thread can realise that, and fills it out if the criteria apply to them.

CactusAnnie · 21/05/2015 19:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

emms1981 · 21/05/2015 20:15
Biscuit
Marynary · 21/05/2015 20:30

It's on the govt issue pro forma which is why most schools have probably left the sentence on the form.

Whoever wrote it, it is an ill thought out sentence if they honestly do want people to claim. As the form is only a "model one" schools should common sense and take it out.

I very much doubt that "handing out" the form to everyone is the best thing to do either. It isn't obvious that it is being given to everyone if you do that (as in OPs case) and offending people is not a good way of encouraging them to claim either. They should include it in registration packs and ask parents to claim if they think they might be eligible in newsletters and let the parents know what their children will receive with the extra funding (e.g. free school trips, music lessons)

CultureSucksDownWords · 21/05/2015 20:38

Oh for goodness sake... by hand out to everyone, I wasn't specifying the method of delivery!! If it is so sensitive and liable to offend, then yes, putting it in the registration pack would be sensible. That's all I meant - distribute it to everyone by the least offensive method possible!

fedupbutfine · 21/05/2015 21:17

this is a wind up, surely? please tell me it's a wind up?

Pipbin · 21/05/2015 21:56

They should include it in registration packs and ask parents to claim if they think they might be eligible
And how is that any different to handing them out to everyone?

1Morewineplease · 21/05/2015 22:20

Ummm... I work in KS1.... The wording regarding children on Free School Meals being slightly behind academically is very unfortunate .... Alas, statistically speaking , it is true to a significant extent... I'm sorry , I'm Sorry but I've seen it for myself over and over again... There are many for whom it does NOT ring true I know ... The trouble is the statistics say otherwise ... Oh gosh I'm so sorry to those folk who feel that I've been unkind but I'm speaking from what I see all the time . ( will now duck my head...)

ArcheryAnnie · 21/05/2015 22:31

Plenty of parents who work also claim benefits, OP.

DawnOfTheDoggers · 21/05/2015 22:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Marynary · 22/05/2015 10:15

And how is that any different to handing them out to everyone?

Because it is then obvious that it is being given to everyone and people aren't being selected!

Marynary · 22/05/2015 10:18

1Morewineplease Of course it is true statistically but the wording of the letter implies that it will be true of everyone who claims which is quite offensive and counterproductive. As they is no need to mention of the form the reasons behind the extra funding why mention it??

Marynary · 22/05/2015 10:18

As they there is no need to mention of the form the reasons behind the extra funding, why mention it??

Dansak · 22/05/2015 10:21

I got given one of these forms from ds's private nursery this week. It didn't even occur to me to be offended Confused.

Marynary · 22/05/2015 10:27

I got given one of these forms from ds's private nursery this week. It didn't even occur to me to be offended

Perhaps that is because you didn't feel that you had been personally selected. OP did feel selected (for whatever reason) and others will feel that way too.

TwllBach · 22/05/2015 10:38

I work I a nursery, OP, and I think you are extremely lucky that your son has been given a one to one even though there is no funding for one. I think you should be grateful that your nursery has decided to allocate money to that. Many nurseries are not able to give the support many of their pupils desperately need. Get off your high horse and fill in the form. If I were you I'd be looking for ways to make other donations.

Muchimuchi · 22/05/2015 11:00

In our school/nursery we handed these forms out to everyone, granted it ended up taking over a few days to grab everyone as we had to talk to parents about other issues too and when we give them to the children half the forms don't make it out the door, this may have looked like we were choosing certain families but we weren't, by the end of the week everyone had them.

I have also had these forms for my son and not been insulted by them, we don't receive any benefits at all not even CB so wouldn't be eligible for funding but how are they meant to know that, I didnt fill it in and just told them we don't receive those benefits, you sound like you've been very rude to the poor TA.

The OP's attitude is awful, We would never think of ourselves better than anyone else just because we happen to have more money in our family, you never know what may happen to make this change one day!

OddBoots · 22/05/2015 15:30

The form may well go in the welcome pack in future but as this is a new thing and the form has only just been produced that is't possible a this time.

Marynary · 22/05/2015 16:42

The form may well go in the welcome pack in future but as this is a new thing and the form has only just been produced that is't possible a this time.

It isn't a new thing at all. Schools have been able to claim extra funding for children who are eligible for free school meals for many years.

Alanna1 · 22/05/2015 16:47

It is SO hard for schools to do this and it makes a HUGE difference to how much money they get. How is the school to know who does and doesn't get benefits?? Maybe you havent claimed for your older children. Maybe you recently lost a job. Maybe they give the forms to everyone. Maybe they have assessed slightly and thought that perhaps you qualify. The point is they don't know and you are being VVV unreasonable to get into a huff with them!

insancerre · 22/05/2015 18:08

Mary Mary
It is a new thing
It is the early years pupil premium
Not the pupil premium
It has only just been introduced for this term's funding
It seems people left are getting confused. It is nothing to do with school funding

Marynary · 22/05/2015 18:29

I'm not confused. OP's child is about to leave nursery and start school so I was presuming the the school pupil premium would apply not the early years one.

Regardless they should use common sense and not hand out forms telling people that children eligible for free school meals will be behind educationally.

Marynary · 22/05/2015 18:30

OP was also told that it was for funding for the school.

CultureSucksDownWords · 22/05/2015 18:39

As far as I understand it they were trying to get parents of children eligible to fill out the forms for the early years pp, before they move on to school. So the nursery will get the benefit of the money.

The form doesn't say that children eligible for FSM will be behind educationally. It says that they tend to be disadvantaged educationally. Which is true. It's a statistical correlation, not a fixed causal relationship.