Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be offended by the insinuations nursery were making.

264 replies

OliviaJ · 20/05/2015 17:34

Basically my ds age 4 attends a nursery attached to a school although come September he'll e starting reception at a completely different school. Yesterday my ds's one to one practically throws a form in my hand telling me i must fill it in and return it ASAP. I asked her what it was regarding (didn't have the chance to look as ds was throwing a huge tantrum) and she said oh it's just to do with some funding the school can claim for some children.

So I get home and have a look at it and it's regarding this supsedly new early years premium that the government are allowing schools to claim. It asked for the usual, ie name address, but then went on to ask for mine and dh's national insurance number and then if our income was below £16000 and if so, did we claim JSA/IS/ESA etc etc.

Well to be fair I was a bit taken a back as to how intrusive it was and why Infact school wanted to kneel this information especially since in a few short weeks my ds will no longer be there. The form then goes on to mention that it is a proven that chidlren who are eligible for free school meals tend to be significantly behind educationally and my claiming this finding the school intends to close the gap between more affluent children.

Well for starters my children do not get free school meals, not have they ever done and me and dh do not get those types of benefits. I mean we get CB and CTC of £107 per month but that's about it. At first I was fuming actually that nursey dared to assume that we were firstly eligible for these benefits when they know us as a family (eldest two chidlren attended the school previously) and they know that dh works and secondly I'm annoyed at the insinuation that even if we did lain these benefits that my son would automatically be behind academically when in our family at least that would not happen as me and dh are very hands on with all of our children's educations. So today I asked the TA why she had given me this form when me and my dh don't claim benefits and our kfks are my on FSM and she became all awkward and just kind of shrugged it off! So AIBU to be a bit annoyed?

OP posts:
Original poster
OliviaJ · 20/05/2015 17:52

Oh for pity's sake I'm not being a snob, I'm just saying how I felt that is all. What I can't understand is this extra funding not going towards all school chidlren? My ds is actually ASD, and has been at the nursery for a year. He has been having what you'd call one to one help for the last 10 months but unofficially as the school couldn't somehow organise the relevant paperwork and get the funding in place, it is due to come through next month but that will be too little too late as he leaves in 7 weeks time. Anyway what I'm saying is the school were only told of the early years premium funding last month yet they've moved incredibly quickly to get this in place for so these so called disadvantaged chidlren yet my son who may be disadvantaged through no fault of his own or mine an dh's hasn't had the help he needs.

OP posts:
sliceofsoup · 20/05/2015 17:52

Get over yourself.

insancerre · 20/05/2015 17:53

YABU
Very, actually
I manage a nursery and I've given out these forms
I gave them to all the children that claim finding as I don't know all the parents circumstances
If you look you will see that it us voluntary. You dobr have to fill it in
But if you do then the nursery gets extra funding
The nursery have to show how the funding has benefited the children who claimed it
The research says that children from poorer households achieve leas than the richer homes
This us about addressng that imbalance
I'm not sure why you are so offended

SoftSheen · 20/05/2015 17:56

YABU. The parents of all children starting reception get given one of these forms!

BackforGood · 20/05/2015 17:56

This:

Honestly, your knickers are in a twist because you are being a snob, not because of anything else

So yes, YABVU to be offended.
Yes, the Gvmnt has decided to target cohorts of children that are statistically starting life with a disadvantage. Doesn't mean everyone in that group will be struggling, but there is a huge correlation between the folks who are eligible and dc who struggle.

Mrsstarlord · 20/05/2015 17:56

Just read the last sentence of your post. Hideous.

OurGlass · 20/05/2015 17:57

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

RitaCrudgington · 20/05/2015 17:57

You're incredibly unreasonable to be offended by being asked if you claim benefits. You're doubly unreasonable since you actually do claim benefits. And treble so because the Pupil Premium is such an important part of school funding, and getting parents to sign up is such a problem now that all infants get free school meals.

Pipbin · 20/05/2015 17:57

At my nursery we gave every parent a letter saying 'are you claiming xyz? If so please ask for a form.'
My only concern about that is that some parents might embarrassed to say that they claim anything as some people get rather snobbish and judgey.

And as far as I know the school just send the form off. They don't sit their looking at the details and discussing what different parents are claiming.

LadyintheRadiator · 20/05/2015 17:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BishopBrennansArse · 20/05/2015 17:58

They give them to everyone..
It's not all about you, you know.

OddBoots · 20/05/2015 17:58

There is a whole world of difference in the process of applying for EYPP compared to applying for funding for one-to-one - the latter is very, very difficult to get and involves a whole lot more paperwork.

If the setting have been giving him the one-to-one without the funding then they are doing a lot better than many settings.

SuburbanRhonda · 20/05/2015 17:59

And as for all infant children habing FSM my son won't be as he's going to have a healthier packed lunch.

No-one at your DS's school will care whether you take up the universal FSM offer or not, but please try to restrain yourself from making a value judgment about it before your DS even starts there.

TheFairyCaravan · 20/05/2015 17:59

You are being a snob.

It's a good thing that everyone gets given the form then, hopefully, no one gets missed. It's fact that poorer children don't tend to do as well as children from better off families, hence why they have the pupil premium. This enables the children to go on trips, go to clubs etc.

Get over yourself and be grateful your children are well provided for!

sliceofsoup · 20/05/2015 17:59

At first I was fuming actually that nursey dared to assume that we were firstly eligible for these benefits when they know us as a family (eldest two chidlren attended the school previously) and they know that dh works and secondly I'm annoyed at the insinuation that even if we did lain these benefits that my son would automatically be behind academically when in our family at least that would not happen as me and dh are very hands on with all of our children's educations.

So is there some kind of pheromone that poor people give off? Or how are the school supposed to determine your situation among the hundreds of other families they deal with?

Our household income is below £16000 and my DH works. So I really do not see your point.

Heels99 · 20/05/2015 18:00

You know how some mums wonder why none of the other mums at school like them?

Original poster
OliviaJ · 20/05/2015 18:00

I'm offended because my chidlren are not behind. My ASD ds was behind in many areas but due to me paying for private Salt/OT and taking him to sensory sessions/playgroups before he started the nursery, he came on leaps and bounds. And my eldest two children, well they are very bright and even though we don't claim FSM I resent the inclination that even if we were to, then my children would be disadvantaged as they would not be trust me.

OP posts:
TheForger · 20/05/2015 18:00

Pupil premium funding is pretty standard and it is based on what benefits you are in receipt of. It is easily proved and is either there or it isn't. The school don't have to do much to gather the information or put a case together.

Getting SEN funding is a really long involved process. Evidence needs to be obtained on an individual basis and is specific to each child. It takes a long time to get. Often it is turned down and the school have to appeal. Schools hate this bit as they see a need for support for the child but have to prove it, sometimes it seems as though it is turned down just because funds are short.

I don't know how efficient your nursery have been in obtaining but it sounds as though they have given you additional support that they didn't receive additional funding for. The funding is completely different.

SuburbanRhonda · 20/05/2015 18:02

OP, please stop digging. It's embarrassing.

Heels99 · 20/05/2015 18:02

Nobody is insinuating your kids are behind fgs have your read the threads, everyone gets the bloody forms.

MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 20/05/2015 18:03

The end of your post about "so-called disadvantaged children" is shocking.

Are you implying that children who receive FSM are disadvantaged through their parents fault?

TheFairyCaravan · 20/05/2015 18:04

My kids got pupil premium. They weren't behind, DS1 was the top performing boy in the school when he did his GCSEs, 2nd overall. They got it because DH is in the RAF.

Was I offended? No. Did I think it meant something it didn't? Did I heck!

Pipbin · 20/05/2015 18:05

What I can't understand is this extra funding not going towards all school chidlren?
it is up to the school to decide what they funding is spent on. Many put it towards employing extra staff to run support groups or to subsidise trips.

Anyway what I'm saying is the school were only told of the early years premium funding last month yet they've moved incredibly quickly to get this in place for so these so called disadvantaged chidlren yet my son who may be disadvantaged through no fault of his own or mine an dh's hasn't had the help he needs.
The government has contacted every single school and asked them to give these forms to every single child of the correct age.
Organising the extra funding for your child is a far more drawn out process and involves working out who to contact, what forms etc. I also believe that this can only be done at certain times of the year.
The nursery haven't suddenly decided to get you to fill out these forms, all schools have had them sent to them to fill out.

TheFairyCaravan · 20/05/2015 18:06

I'm offended because my chidlren are not behind. My ASD ds was behind in many areas but due to me paying for private Salt/OT and taking him to sensory sessions/playgroups before he started the nursery, he came on leaps and bounds.

Well bully for fucking you! Don't you realise that there are a lot of people in this country who can't afford to put a bowl of cereal on the table let alone pay for private treatment for their children?

Finola1step · 20/05/2015 18:07

Good grief! Get a hold of yourself.

Firstly, it is possible that all of the children got the letters but perhaps at different times. Or it could be that the children in nursery who have older siblings in the school did not get a form because those families will already have been processed through the Pupil Premium system wrt older children.

Its great news that your son's school have pushed through the Statementing process for him so quickly. This will probably mean that valuable SENCo time as well as the school's allocated Educational Psychologist time have been spent on your son. And rightly so. The school have recognised his needs quickly to the extent of paying for 1:1 support from the budget for all children and have not yet had any additional funding to meet his needs.

The result if all of this is that you thank the school by getting huffy over a letter and sending him to another school next year anyway. Nice one.

Swipe left for the next trending thread