To be offended by the insinuations nursery were making.

[OliviaJ]

Basically my ds age 4 attends a nursery attached to a school although come September he'll e starting reception at a completely different school. Yesterday my ds's one to one practically throws a form in my hand telling me i must fill it in and return it ASAP. I asked her what it was regarding (didn't have the chance to look as ds was throwing a huge tantrum) and she said oh it's just to do with some funding the school can claim for some children.

So I get home and have a look at it and it's regarding this supsedly new early years premium that the government are allowing schools to claim. It asked for the usual, ie name address, but then went on to ask for mine and dh's national insurance number and then if our income was below £16000 and if so, did we claim JSA/IS/ESA etc etc.

Well to be fair I was a bit taken a back as to how intrusive it was and why Infact school wanted to kneel this information especially since in a few short weeks my ds will no longer be there. The form then goes on to mention that it is a proven that chidlren who are eligible for free school meals tend to be significantly behind educationally and my claiming this finding the school intends to close the gap between more affluent children.

Well for starters my children do not get free school meals, not have they ever done and me and dh do not get those types of benefits. I mean we get CB and CTC of £107 per month but that's about it. At first I was fuming actually that nursey dared to assume that we were firstly eligible for these benefits when they know us as a family (eldest two chidlren attended the school previously) and they know that dh works and secondly I'm annoyed at the insinuation that even if we did lain these benefits that my son would automatically be behind academically when in our family at least that would not happen as me and dh are very hands on with all of our children's educations. So today I asked the TA why she had given me this form when me and my dh don't claim benefits and our kfks are my on FSM and she became all awkward and just kind of shrugged it off! So AIBU to be a bit annoyed?

£300 will not make one scrap of difference to my sons education. I've spent more personally buying him educational resources and Sensory toys to use at home, £300 will not go very far over the year.

£300 is a lot of money to schools. Especially as there is likely to be more than one child in a class who bring pupil premium to the school.

Anyway, you say that you have spent £300 on things for your son but then on another thread you say that you don't have £300 to pay a fine.

I'm also confused about the number of children you have. You said in another thread that you have 3 small children. You have also said in a different thread that you have a DD in year 6 and a DD who is 9.
In this thread you have said that you have a DD who is 16.
So you have 3 small children, including DS and three older DDs? Yet you run down women who pop out babies to claim income support?

I know that trawling through other threads is poor form but this needed doing.

I claim benefits because I am entitled to claim them. I have very good reasons, not that I should have to justify this to you, OP.

You claim tax credits because you are entitled to them. Your husband works. Hurrah.

I don't know when a poster has annoyed me so much, and I have been on mumsnet for years under various names.

Attitudes like this are the reason that I am embarrassed when I buy veg using the free tokens I get. I have fallen on hard times through no fault of my own, despite working hard in school, getting a university degree while working nights in a care home, doing all sorts of voluntary and unpaid work while being a youth worker, community link worker and sahm.

I don't claim benefits because I think I can live the life of Riley and not work. I claim because in the short term it is the best thing I can do to get me and my boys back on track.

I'm heartened by the fact that everybody else on this thread also thinks the op is being horribly judgemental and unfair.

Regardless of whether they gave the forms to everyone I think that the school are very tactless and stupid in how they have worded the form. Apart from the fact that it's not nice to suggest that all those receiving free school meals will be behind educationally the form will if anything discourage those who are eligible from claiming.

YABU.

They'll be giving these forms out to every parent to make sure that they don't miss out any families who are eligible for this. If everyone else wasn't getting one at the same time, it's probably because they've already been given the forms.

Our nursery gave me one of these forms. I binned it because we're not eligible. Nursery know fine well we're not eligible, but they gave me the form anyway, because it's a whole lot simpler for them to give one to every parent than it is for them to sit down and write a list of which families are likely to be eligible for the extra funding.

It never even occurred to me to be offended.
Although I hadn't realised that I was meant to fill the form in even though we're not eligible and nursery won't get a single extra penny of government funding for our DC even if we do fill it in?

And £300 might go further than you think. I bought DS1 a 24 pack of crayons for £1.70 the other day. Going by that price, I could have bought 4224 crayons for £300.

Regardless of whether they gave the forms to everyone I think that the school are very tactless and stupid in how they have worded the form.

It is a standard government issue form. The school haven't written it.

AnyRailway, please don't worry about being on benefits. I promise you most people are not judging you at all. You've hit a bump in the road and have fallen on hard times. That's what benefits are there for. I really hope things improve for you soon, I've been there and it does get better.

Mrsgrinch, thank you

"Crazyqueenofthecatladies

Olivia have you ever considered you might be ASD too. Awesome people skills... Easily the nicest person on MN."

Have reported this lovely gem of a post.

I despair, I honestly do!! My ex is earning six figures and I still need the support I recieve. I find it absolutely appalling, but there you go. I need the support to ensure my children are okay. I'm not ashamed about that. What I am a bit dubious about is the fact that my ex could quite clearly afford to support us without taking the support offered from the government . It's abhorrent that this is the case, but what can I do??!!

Implying people with ASD are horrible is not on.

as for OP..I'm sure lots of people feel like that..but most don't openly say it..thankfully.

It's not fair to get at OP about her child's lunches. It is very common indeed for children with autistic spectrum conditions to have major sensory problems, which often relate to taste, smell and touch. Therefore they can be wholly unable to tolerate certain foods or the feel of them in their mouths, and the sort of food preferences OP describes are very common.

OP, please don't refuse to fill in the form. The nursery has been funding a 1:1 worker for your child, and that's a major expense. If you refuse to fill in the form, it won't benefit the school your child is going to, because funding depends on the numbers in school on census day - so the new school still won't be able to claim anything.

Sorry if this derails about but I assumed I didn't need to fill out the form from my daughters preschool as we were over the threshold income wise. Should I have filled it out anyway?

OP this is for the nursery to get extra funding I don't think they can tell by looking at you which benefits you receive!

I'm curious as to why you would actively decide to deprive your son's school of any possible pupil premium money. His new school in September won't get the money either, so why deprive his current school - who have seemingly gone above and beyond for your son? It's just downright mean and unpleasant.

FaNjomammaries, I agree that implying that people with ASD are likely to be this bigoted is extremely unfair. In my experience, people who know they have ASD are more likely to be tolerant and non -judgmental.

As for people thinking like the op but not saying it... In a way it's a relief for me to have someone come right out and say it. This is useful for me. It exposes all the flaws in their thinking and gives mumsnet an opportunity to be on the side of benefits claimants for once. I read so many threads that make me feel small, but this op is so outrageously prejudiced that I actually feel quite supported by all the people who are telling her she's being an idiot.

I hate claiming benefits! Most people who claim them feel the same...

Anyrailway I don't think people are right to think this by the way.

Just feel that people on benefits have been wrongly demonised by the media and keep reading benefit bashing threads.

I probably was tactless to say that though. Sorry. I personally do not hold these small minded views.

She is definitely being idiotic in her views.

It is a standard government issue form. The school haven't written it.

That is strange as I have never received one.

That is strange as I have never received one.

You get them from the school. Some schools are only giving them to people who come forward to say they are eligible. Some are giving them to everyone with a child in KS1 or below.
They have been emailed to the school who will need to print out the required numbers. Some schools have chosen to only print on request to save money.

Clearly your school didn't think that you looked like you needed one, unlike the OP.........

I don't think anyone is getting at the OP about her child's food preferences.
The problem is the snobbish tone of her posts about FSM and school dinners not being good enough for her children so she provides "a healthy packed lunch".
I have seen kids eating the exact lunch that she described, provided free of charge in school a couple of weeks ago. I have never once seen chicken nuggets served in any of the many schools I have visited.
School dinners are not the work of the devil. Sometimes they are quite nice

Is this the form

www.gov.uk/government/publications/free-school-meals-and-pupil-premium-registration-form

None of the schools my children go to have handed it out to everyone. They only ask that parents to contact them if they think they might be eligible as the school receives extra funds.

Marynary - I received a version of that form, but it didn't have the explanation details - just asked whether we received any benefits and asked for our National Insurance number. I didn't return it as we don't get any benefits.
My objection was that I was being asked for my Nat Ins number without being given a good reason why (a bit paranoid about identity theft). Even the school office couldn't explain what it was all about so I telephoned our local council, spoke to helpful lady who explained it all and said I could just ignore it. However she was so sweet and apologetic that I completed and sent off after all !