Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 ··· 6 7 8 9 10 11

Original poster

To be offended by the insinuations nursery were making.

264 replies

OliviaJ · 20/05/2015 17:34

Basically my ds age 4 attends a nursery attached to a school although come September he'll e starting reception at a completely different school. Yesterday my ds's one to one practically throws a form in my hand telling me i must fill it in and return it ASAP. I asked her what it was regarding (didn't have the chance to look as ds was throwing a huge tantrum) and she said oh it's just to do with some funding the school can claim for some children.

So I get home and have a look at it and it's regarding this supsedly new early years premium that the government are allowing schools to claim. It asked for the usual, ie name address, but then went on to ask for mine and dh's national insurance number and then if our income was below £16000 and if so, did we claim JSA/IS/ESA etc etc.

Well to be fair I was a bit taken a back as to how intrusive it was and why Infact school wanted to kneel this information especially since in a few short weeks my ds will no longer be there. The form then goes on to mention that it is a proven that chidlren who are eligible for free school meals tend to be significantly behind educationally and my claiming this finding the school intends to close the gap between more affluent children.

Well for starters my children do not get free school meals, not have they ever done and me and dh do not get those types of benefits. I mean we get CB and CTC of £107 per month but that's about it. At first I was fuming actually that nursey dared to assume that we were firstly eligible for these benefits when they know us as a family (eldest two chidlren attended the school previously) and they know that dh works and secondly I'm annoyed at the insinuation that even if we did lain these benefits that my son would automatically be behind academically when in our family at least that would not happen as me and dh are very hands on with all of our children's educations. So today I asked the TA why she had given me this form when me and my dh don't claim benefits and our kfks are my on FSM and she became all awkward and just kind of shrugged it off! So AIBU to be a bit annoyed?

OP posts:

MrsDeVere · 20/05/2015 22:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

imwithspud · 20/05/2015 22:09

It's already been covered but, YABU and you sound like a massive snob.

FarFromAnyRoad · 20/05/2015 22:37

Wherever can 'Olivia' have gone? If I was the suspicious type I might think that this was a big old goady thread and the OP is sitting back having achieved her aims. Which makes her kind of - err - what's the word? Oh yes - tragic.

MiscellaneousAssortment · 21/05/2015 01:53

I think there's a lot of vicious, judgemental and yes, plain stupid thinking on this thread and I feel slightly sullied having read it.

Perhaps the same kind of feeling when you accidentally sit next to a benefit thieving scum on the bus.

I'm glad I don't live in the petty minded hate filled vitriol loving world you appear to be creating for yourself... Or maybe just for us on this thread?

It's a tiny bit amusing as your writings appear to be dripping with snobbery and class divisions, yet the type of small minded illogical judgementism seems more infra dog than anything else on this thread. Somewhat ironic.

SlightlyJadedJack · 21/05/2015 05:44

Agree with everything on this thread but just came on to say that our school provides three different options for hot meals (meat, veggie and baked potato options) and three different packed lunch options (meat, veggie and gluten free), every half term I'm newly amazed at the meals served up, stuff I would never cook at home or would think my DS would eat but he has become so much less fussy about food because of it. Never have they been served chips or chicken nuggets. DS has picked the humours and carrot wrap option himself this term as he's not a huge meat eater. To be fair, they do have sausages occasionally.

Minifingers9 · 21/05/2015 05:56

OP - as someone says, this is a communications issue.

Please help the school claim the pupil premium by filling in the form.

Marynary · 21/05/2015 07:26

There is no point filling in the form if she isn't going to be eligible though. Whether or not the government have done the model form I think it is stupid and tactless to give to out to everyone.

My children's schools just ask people to contact them if they think they might be eligible even if they don't want the free school meals as the school get extra funds. I'm sure people do apply if they think they might be eligible as it means that they don't have to pay for school trips and various other things.

Pipbin · 21/05/2015 07:37

I'm sure people do apply if they think they might be eligible as it means that they don't have to pay for school trips and various other things.
No, even if you are eligible you do still have to pay for trips. It just means that the school can use some of the money to subsidies school trips.

I think it is stupid and tactless to give to out to everyone
Less stupid and tactless than staff deciding if they think someone might be claiming benefits and giving them a form? Would you like to decide that? Far to easy to miss people as well.

ShadowFire · 21/05/2015 07:42

I actually think that handing the forms out to everyone is the most tactful way of doing it. That way you don't miss anyone, and parents who might be offended at being singled out as eligible for this can be reassured that all the parents are getting the form as a standard thing.

And I thought that the OP was eligible anyway?

Marynary · 21/05/2015 07:48

No, even if you are eligible you do still have to pay for trips. It just means that the school can use some of the money to subsidies school trips.

I said that at my children's school you don't have to pay for school trips and various other things if you claim for free school meals. The mechanics of this is not relevant.

Less stupid and tactless than staff deciding if they think someone might be claiming benefits and giving them a form? Would you like to decide that? Far to easy to miss people as well.

The staff don't need to decide who might claim. As a said they can just ask (in newsletters etc) for people to contact them if the think they might be eligible as the school can claim extra funds. I'm sure people will do that if it means that they don't have to pay for school trips etc. There is definitely no need to suggest that their children might be behind educationally etc as the letter OP received did.

MissDuke · 21/05/2015 08:19

I don't think giving to everyone is tactless, however just selecting some that they assume to be eligible would be tactless. Surely it is easier to hand out to all than risk some families not being aware to ask for a form or being too embarrassed to ask?

budgiegirl · 21/05/2015 09:10

I agree, forms should be given to everyone. Just don't fill it in if you don't want to. That way, no one gets missed, and staff don't have to make any assumptions.

OP is BU to be offended. The staff were not insinuating anything. And quite frankly, so what if they were. There's no shame in needing a bit of help. It's people like the OP that cause those on benefits to be too embarrassed to ask.

AndyWarholsOrange · 21/05/2015 09:31

OP please come back and explain your miraculously ageing children. My 7 year old DS is being such a little shit right now, I'd love to speed up time and make him 16.
And I love the fact that, as well as claiming different benefits to everyone else, you make superior grammatical errors rather than the 'typical' ones that us plebs make.

BingBong36 · 21/05/2015 09:41

imwithspud · 21/05/2015 10:41

As a said they can just ask (in newsletters etc) for people to contact them if the think they might be eligible as the school can claim extra funds. I'm sure people will do that if it means that they don't have to pay for school trips etc. There is definitely no need to suggest that their children might be behind educationally etc as the letter OP received did.

Some people might be to embarrassed/ashamed/proud to come forward and contact the school though.

Genuinely don't see the issue with the letters being handed out to everyone, seems like the best way for the school to get maximum funding which will benefit not just the children who are entitled to it but the school as a whole.

Stormtreader · 21/05/2015 12:12

Seems a shame that if £300 is such a small amount to the OP, that they didn't give it to the school where it could have benefited more than one child.

1Morewineplease · 21/05/2015 12:54

I do find it a bit sad when someone starts a thread, clearly without thinking it through, and gets absolutely lambasted. There's usually a little part of me that wants to throw a few crumbs of comfort to them. Alas , in this case I simply can't !

SumThucker · 21/05/2015 13:04

Just how on earth can you quite possibly contemplate sending your little darlings to a nursery frequented with the children of benefit claimants? God knows what they could be infected with!

Sounds ghastly! And how utterly horrific for you to be presumed to be a benefit claimant yourself! [shudder]

FannyPlant · 21/05/2015 13:12

Firstly, every parent at my child's school gets one. You don't have to fill it in.

Secondly, there's no shame in being on benefits.

Sanityseeker75 · 21/05/2015 13:21

for so these so called disadvantaged chidlren yet my son who may be disadvantaged through no fault of his own or mine an dh's hasn't had the help he needs.

GreenAugustLion · 21/05/2015 13:27

My dc don't have FSM and we don't get any benefits at all (so their school wouldn't have any record to indicate they did iyswim).

If it appeared that we were personally selected by the teacher to complete a form aimed at low income/struggling/whatever families - as it appears the op has been - then, yes, I would feel judged and insulted.

Even if we were entitled, if we'd been hand picked due to our appearance - then yes, I'd still be upset.

I think the op's got a bit of a hard time tbh.

snozzlemaid · 21/05/2015 19:19

Those that are not happy with giving national insurance numbers, that is the information needed to check whether you qualify for fsm or pupil premium. The parent's nat ins number, date of birth and surname are entered onto a DfE website which does the check.

Marynary · 21/05/2015 19:24

The main "tactless" and stupid part is the wording of the form i.e. that it is proven that children who are eligible for free school meals tend to be significantly behind educationally. It is also not very clever for the parents to be handed the letter individually by staff as it is not obvious that everyone has received the letter. It would have been much more sensible to just put it in an information pack that everyone receives on induction day for example.

CultureSucksDownWords · 21/05/2015 19:34

Marynary, how would you word that sentence, I'm curious to know?

Marynary · 21/05/2015 19:36

Some people might be to embarrassed/ashamed/proud to come forward and contact the school though.

If they are too embarrassed/ashamed/proud to come forward then they probably aren't going to claim however it is done. Certainly a letter such as the one OP received telling her that her children will be behind academically won't encourage them to claim.

Flip

1 2 ··· 6 7 8 9 10 11

Swipe left for the next trending thread