Should I talk about this toddler group volunteer to his carer?

[RachelWatts]

I attend a weekly toddler group with 2 year old DS2.

The key holder of the toddler group is a learning-disabled young man, who opens up and sets the toys out, then stays throughout the session and packs away at the end.

I tend to arrive early, straight after the school run, and help him set up.

One of the 'rules' of the toddler group is that the slide and trampoline must be on a mat before the children use them, but because of the way they are stored, the mats are the last things out of the shed.

This morning, the trampoline was the first thing unpacked, so DS2 ran for it and tried to climb on.

In order to prevent DS2 getting on the trampoline, the volunteer grabbed the trampoline and pulled it away, which caused DS2, who was halfway onto it at the time, to be tipped off and he banged his head on the floor.

Not surprisingly, he cried, and the volunteer told him off for 'throwing himself on the floor'.

I picked up DS2, and while comforting him, told the volunteer that no, DS2 had fallen when he moved the trampoline, and hadn't thrown himself to the floor in a display of temper.

WIBU to talk to one of the care assistants at his home (who I know personally as we went to the same toddler group with our DC1s) about this incident?

I'm not sure this young man understands that in enforcing the 'no trampolining without a mat' rule, he caused the scenario which the rule is there to prevent, as a child fell off the trampoline and hurt himself (although not seriously)

You are making a mountain out of a molehill

YABVVU.
the mat rule is there for a reason, there is no excuse for your inability to adequately supervise your DS. It doesn't matter how confident he is on the equipment he shouldn't have been there.

When your DS "legged it" you should have "legged it" right after him.

The incident was your fault, imo. You shouldn't take your DS2 in to set up if you can't look after him at the same time. He's your responsibility, no one else's.

You'd probably find "lifting the child off it" would have opened up a whole different can of peas, Cheeky. I suspect the guy was never going to win this one, no matter how he played it. And he shouldn't actually have been put in that position at all.

The man accidently pulled the trampoline away to try and prevent your ds climbing on, but it was too late by the time he realised your ds was on it. he did not do it to purposely hurt him. If you had supervised your child properly, this would not have happened. Have you not ever made a mistake op! He should have mabey apologised to your ds, but you did speak to him about that. It's a non issue now! Move on, don't let it happen again!

Oh dear Christ on a bike. Thank the lord he didn't try and lift the child.

I can see the headlines now.

Why indeed? I suspect op would have found it something else to whinge about hugely inappropriate, but I could be wrong...

There is a very good chance that he did not anticipate the consequence of pulling away the trampoline I doubt very much it has anything to do with caring or not.

He was following the 'rules' the and OP was shifting the goal posts by making a personal risk assessment of the situation about her own son and not sharing it with the man. Very unfair to someone who may have learning disabilities.

I know you don't want to take any responsibility OP but really there are much better solutions to the issue than talking to his carer. I agree that someone should talk to him about what to do if that scenario happens again so he has the info he needs to manage the situation better.

I think you are taking it for granted that it is always easy for people to process scenarios the way you do and make quick snap judgement decisions.

He clearly cared enough about the child's safety to try and stop him bouncing on the trampoline without there being a mat, as per the rules.

He just didn't go about in the same way as an NT adult who has the capacity to make sensible snap decisions.

But agreed, mountain out of a molehill.

3Littlemonkeys

Maybe he should have lifted the child off it

Do you know how strict the current training and regulations are about NO PHYSICAL CONTACT WITH CHILDREN?

It would have been a whole new thread: AIBU reporting this volunteer to the police for physically man-handling my DS off the trampoline at Toddlers' group? My DS kicked and screamed - but he continued to hold him tightly.

Like every playgroup in the area, this one is volunteer run. By mums with toddlers.

It is not possible to set up the equipment without toddlers being in the room. As the rest of the volunteers are parents with toddlers, we know what they are like and react accordingly.

I am one of the volunteers. If people like me did not volunteer, there would be no playgroup.

This man has no manager. He does not work there. He is another volunteer. He is the only person there without a child with them.

It is not feasible, or fair, to ask him to set up every week by himself.

If another adult accidentally knocked a child over, they would presumably check the child was OK and apologise if they realised. If they didn't realise then I would point out what had happened, as I did.

Apologies for any insensitive language - I did not mean any offence.

If people like me did not volunteer, there would be no playgroup

Now your sounding like a martyr.

If people like him didn't volunteer, there would be no playgroup either.

Why do you keep changing your story? To me it looks like repeated attempts to spin your account so you're not at fault.

Oh for God's sake

I repeat. This is a playgroup run by mums. Without mums to run it, there would be no playgroup, partly because there would also be no children.

There are no regulations about touching children which apply, as the parents are always with their children.

I would have had no problem with DS2 being lifted off the equipment.

I do have a problem with the equipment being pulled out from under him.

I got blamed at work because a child ran out of a playroom and into a kitchen parents sometimes feel better if they can pass the buck elsewhere the op was blaming this man moving a trampoline and her son got hurt the op never once took responsibility for her child did not race to remove him just blamedthe learning disabled volunteer whowastrying to do his job

Hedgehog - I don't understand. My story hasn't changed.

There are no regulations about touching children which apply, as the parents are always with their children

Except for today when you weren't close enough to stop an accident. Which is your responsibility, not the poor bloke setting up.

You said ypu only went early because you were dropping off at school this man is there to set up and clear away you are there early you didnt watch your son he got hurt it was an accident the guy probably didnt expect to see your child and pulled it away