Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed this woman asked my husband to zip her dress up?

347 replies

mynameisvivienne · 17/05/2015 21:38

My friend had a house party last night for her birthday. She has a large kitchen so most of us were in there when a random woman asked my husband to zip her dress up as it was coming down at the back.

She was with friends and has never met my husband (or me) ever before.

Aibu to have been annoyed?

OP posts:
longdiling · 18/05/2015 10:02

I love the fact that people are berating the OP for what they see as an over reaction by....calling her mental, a nightmare, the type of wife who wants her husbands balls in a jar etc etc. Bit if an...oh I dunno...over reaction really don't you think?! Some self awareness would go a long way with some posters.

OP, I would think it was odd too. I wouldn't be arguing with anyone over it, it certainly wouldn't ruin my night but I would be thinking she had a bit of a cheek with me stood right there.

DuchessofNorks · 18/05/2015 10:10

I will be honest I would just think she was a weirdo and laugh at her, as would my DH. In fact my DH would probably step back and get me to do it, thinking she was a sane person asking another female, because who does that??

She just sounds like a strange'un to be honest.

ChwatFeechers · 18/05/2015 10:28

If it happened as you say it did (I'm not calling you a liar) and she bypassed her friends, sashayed over to a man on the other side of the room when he was standing with his arm around his wife, then YANBU.

Brazen hussy.

TheChandler · 18/05/2015 10:36

I agree its annoying behaviour. It puts your DH in an awkward position, as he can't refuse out of politeness, and annoys you. I would simply have asked one of the other women there. I'm sure there must have been someone at the party she knew.

AnUtterIdiot · 18/05/2015 10:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DadDadDad · 18/05/2015 10:47

I'm baffled: I've skimmed this thread - has no-one thought to ask the OP what her DH thought of this approach?

OP - what does your DH think of this woman and does he think you should be annoyed?

FlaviaAlbia · 18/05/2015 11:22

If a woman was standing with her friends and needed help with a zip, but went out of her way to walk over to my DH who was standing with his arm around my waist, I think I'd be amused and wind him up about it.

I'd probably think the woman was a bit odd, but what are the chances that it did happen exactly like that?

donemekmelarf · 18/05/2015 11:26

OP, I would laugh it off.
Some women are very needy and feel a compulsion to seek approval from the opposite sex at every opportunity. It's a fact of life.
You will never get rid of them.

If she was flirting with your husband - how pathetic to go to the bother of asking a man who was obviously with someone, to do up your dress.
Don't be angry with her. Pity her.
She is the one making herself look foolish and desperate.
(that's assuming she was flirting)

NeedsAsockamnesty · 18/05/2015 11:27

99% of my friends if tipsy when asked to do up my zip would think it was incredibly funny to pull it down further as would most of my family.

So I would ask a stranger and one that was attached to someone else because in my head that has less of a risk of resulting standing there in your pants. If the man was closer I would ask him if the woman was closer I would ask her. No come hither vibes would be sent at all and I'm astounded this is viewed as inappropriate but then again I woukdnt bat an eyelid at someone requesting help either.

How ever if it was Derek's film version I may laugh and risk wetting myself

IrianofWay · 18/05/2015 11:28

Don't be annoyed. If she was doing it deliberately to flirt, just laugh at her. She was probably drunk. The only issue would be if your H responded to her overtures inappropriately And he didn't. So hurrah!

RagstheInvincible · 18/05/2015 11:29

I've had it happen to me, simply because I was the person nearest when she felt her zip coming down. DW over the other side of the room never turned a hair.

I seriously think you have trust issues OP that you need to get sorted.

MaidOfStars · 18/05/2015 11:33

I've had it happen to me, simply because I was the person nearest when she felt her zip coming down. DW over the other side of the room never turned a hair

Neither of those conditions apply here.

donemekmelarf · 18/05/2015 11:36

At no point has the OP said she doesn't trust her husband.

She has purely pointed out the fact that it made her a bituncomfortable the way this woman bypassed all the women in the room (OP included) and asked a man to do her zip up. Why not ask the OP? Or one of the other women?
This woman was obviously flirting.
Nothing wrong with that - but to openly flirt with someone while they're stood next to their partner is not on.

minkGrundy · 18/05/2015 11:41

YANBU OP. It is a bit annoying but not a massive deal.
As long as your DH also realised she was veing a bit daft then I wouldn't worry too much.

I'd feel a bit sorry for someone who behaved like that. I am guessing several of her friends were probably embarrassed.

She embarassed herself. Got nowhere. End of.

MakeItACider · 18/05/2015 11:50

I was in total agreement with the OP. It was very odd behavour. Until I read NeedsAsockamnesty's reply

I would hate to have your friends and family NeedsAsockamnesty, but I can now imagine the situation more innocently.

GingerCuddleMonster · 18/05/2015 11:51

I think you are BU to be annoyed, surely it's just on of those raise eyebrow moments and move on.

I have these constantly with DP, problem is it seems to be elder teenage girls that swoon over him ok he resembles a JLS member if your drunk haha I've yet to go on a night out with him and some teenager not attempt to grind on him Hmm.

curlyweasel · 18/05/2015 11:51

Urgh. She sounds totally without class. Don't give her another thought, OP. YANBU.

Eigg · 18/05/2015 12:02

Vivienne congratulations on keeping your temper here, you've had some extremely odd responses.

Crossing a room, away from your friends to ask an unknown member of the opposite sex to adjust your clothing is flirting. I'm astonished that anyone thinks otherwise.

Deliberately flirting with someone in front of their partner is rude. (Again astonished that anyone thinks otherwise)

So no, you weren't unreasonable to raise an eyebrow and be a bit miffed.

My DH is very handsome. Women flirt with him pretty regularly just in that kind of 'automatic reflex when talking to a good looking guy' way which I have no problem with.

However he has been flirted with more 'actively' (iykwim) while I've been out with him, up to and including a flat out proposition while he was standing with his arm round me.

Those women are just rude. Our response is mostly to laugh in their faces.

Interestingly men who flirt with me tend to wait until my DH is at the bar/has left the room.

dramallamasdayout · 18/05/2015 12:05

"Outrageous", "disrespectful", "she is a whore" (WTF? Hmm Are you serious?), "I'd be pitying", "she was a weirdo", "pathetic", "totally without class", "foolish and desperate".

Well well, there's a lot of insecurity, assumption and projection out there and it's not just coming from the OP.

Redcherries · 18/05/2015 12:05

I think it's pretty cheap behaviour and I would be annoyed she felt she could take my DH attention away from me (Having to remove arm waist and turn) in order to boost her confidence. It's sad and I'm with you OP. I would be stood there with an eyebrow trying to escape over the top of my head.

SpinDoctorOfAethelred · 18/05/2015 12:05

Hmm. Could be flirtatious, or merely practical. I was thinking along the same lines as needsasockamnesty. I have some joker "friends" as well as some nice ones. Grin

If I happened to be surrounded by my "I'm crazy, me" friends and family, and had a zip coming down, I would make a beeline for a stranger. A married man firmly attached to his wife might seem like just the ticket. Unlikely to be misunderstood as a come-on, and I'd know his wife would take a dim view of him pulling the zip down.

NorahDentressangle · 18/05/2015 12:11

I would say she was showing off to her friends at the OP's expense (in a roundabout way).
A bit like a group of people giggling together about someone, makes them, the someone, feel self-conscious and uncomfortable. Hence OP's annoyance.
Bitchy - I would say. But minor bitchiness and worth ignoring.

ChwatFeechers · 18/05/2015 12:11

I would make a beeline for a stranger. A married man firmly attached to his wife might seem like just the ticket. Unlikely to be misunderstood as a come-on, and I'd know his wife would take a dim view of him pulling the zip down.

You wouldn't ask his wife?

Eigg · 18/05/2015 12:11

Spin but in those circumstances would you just explain that and ask the woman of the couple to do it?

DownWithThisTypeOfThing · 18/05/2015 12:18

Erm, couldn't it be possible that she just didn't think of your husband in that way and to her he could have been man/woman/inanimate object? He was just there. As were other people, true. Just thinking back to my single days...the fellas I didn't fancy were the ones I'd be more inclined to ask was my lipstick smudged, did my tights have a ladder etc. It can be the very opposite of flirting.

Swipe left for the next trending thread